Obaa Yaa

My husband keeps cheating Dear Obaa Yaa

Published

1 year ago

May 4, 2024

My husband has cheated on me for more than 15 years and even after he promised me it was over, I found he was still paying the same woman for sex.

I am 48 and he is 53.

We have been married for 18 years and I have spent most of that time bringing up our now adult children alone.

After I discovered his affair four years ago, he promised me he had ended it but would remain friends with the woman.

I found out through their messages that even after their affair officially ended he still paid her for sex.

He is the breadwinner, and he has always kept his spending a secret and given me a tiny budget to run the house.

He goads me into having arguments so he can walk out and spend weekends with his lover.

I finally told his family how his behaviour was affecting me, but even then he tried to blame me.

Privately, he told me I should have left him if I felt so unhappy.

But he told his mum he loves me and wants our relationship to work.

I am not sure how I feel because he is still in denial and won’t admit to my face what he has done.

Celestina, Ashaiman.

Dear Celestina,

I am sorry for what you are going through in your marriage.You really do not deserve this treatment, considering the commitment and loyalty to your husband but I am hoping at the end of my write up, we would be able to get to the bottom of it and get a solution to your problem.

First of all, I would advise you to talk to your husband for the last time about his bad behaviour and give him options to choose you or the lady he is paying for sex.

Bring your grown up kids in when you confront him and let them talk to him. If after all he doesn’t stop, then leave him.

At age 54, you should be enjoying the fruit of your labour and not stressing or worrying about marital issues.

Obaa Yaa

I am Torn Between Two Guys

Published

6 days ago

October 11, 2025

WeeklySpectator

Dear Obaa Yaa,

I am torn between two guys and finding it very difficult to make a choice.

I have known the first guy for three years. We respect each other a lot. We started as just friends, but we recently began dating. Even though we don’t have much in common, he makes me feel loved and special.

Interestingly, I met the second guy only two weeks ago through a mutual friend. From the beginning, it has been nothing but good vibes between us. I enjoy his company, and we share many things in common. He is basically my type of man, both physically and mentally.

Now I feel like I have to choose, but I am lost and unsure who to go for.

—Esinam, Legon

Dear Esinam,

When it comes to love, everyone must take time to think carefully. You’re not just choosing a partner—you are choosing a potential husband and the father of your children, regardless of your current feelings.

Consider your priorities. Which of the two aligns better with your values, goals, and aspirations?

You might also reflect on:

Emotional stability — Who offers long-term security and respect?
Compatibility — Who truly understands you and shares your vision?
Consistency — Who has shown genuine care over time?
Future plans — Who fits into the life you want to build?

Attraction and good vibes are important, but so are character, compatibility, and long-term intentions.

Take your time, listen to your inner peace, and choose the one who fits not just your heart today, but your future tomorrow.

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Obaa Yaa

My grades are dropping

Published

6 days ago

October 11, 2025

WeeklySpectator

Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a 22-year-old lady at the University of Ghana, Legon. I realised my Grade Point Average (GPA) was very good and could even get a First Class if I put in more effort.

It is rather unfortunate that in Level 300, I have noticed a significant drop in my academic performance, which has left me both confused and worried about my future.

The increased workload and expectations at this level have been overwhelming, making it challenging to balance demanding courses with extracurricular activities and personal responsibilities.

This pressure has fuelled my anxiety, making it even harder to maintain my grades. The coursework is substantially more demanding, and I often find myself struggling to keep pace.

This sudden shift has been disheartening, and I can’t help but worry about the long-term impact it may have on my future.

Chelsea, Accra.

Dear Chelsea,

Although you have realised a significant drop in your grades, it does not mean that you should throw in the towel. See it as a signal to change your approach to studies.

Identify the subjects or topics you are struggling with and put in more effort. Create a study timetable to manage your time well, making sure you revise regularly instead of waiting until exams.

Don’t hesitate to ask teachers for clarification or join a study group with friends who understand the subject better.

Also, cut down distractions such as too much time on the phone or the use of social media when studying.

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