Obaa Yaa
My boyfriend is unhappy with our open relationship
Dear Obaa Yaa,
My boyfriend happily agreed to an open relationship but now that I am getting a lot more attention than him, he wants to return to monogamy.
I am a 23-year-old woman and he is 24. We met at the university and have been together for four years.
I have always felt like I met him too early. While I love and respect him and want to spend the rest of my life with him, there is so much more I want to experience first.
I want to travel and meet different people. To be honest, I want to have more sexual experiences before I settle down.
I have told my boyfriend I was interested in an open relationship and he had never rejected the idea out rightly, but when I got a job and was posted to a different region, I felt strongly the time was right to put my plan into action.
Although we both love each other and want to stay together this arrangement seemed to me the best way to be romantically involved and sexually satisfied while living in different places.
Six months into my posting, I have had four partners while my boyfriend has had none.
Now he says we should end the relationship. Please what should I do?
Esther, Pokuase
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Dear Esther,
I must say that it was a bad arrangement in the first place for both of you to have accepted to engage in such ungodly act. For a relationship to thrive, there should be trust and respect but if none is present then the relationship will go nowhere.
If you are ready for a monogamous relationship, then you must stop this behaviour.
You have been unfaithful to your boyfriend for having other partners. Remember you are prone to contracting a sexually transmitted disease easily if you engage in sexual activities with multiple sexual partners.
Forget about exploring the world and settle down with your boyfriend.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a young gentleman who is 25 years of age. I have been dating a lady for the past three years and I have plans of taking her to the altar.
However, there is a problem that threatens the love and bond that exits between us.
Growing up, I have vouched not to engage in any sexual intercourse with my girlfriend. But she seems to have an issue with it.
According to her, my decision makes her feel I am not truly in love as I claim . I must say that I am confused about the situation and I don’t want to lose her because I love her so much.
Thomas, Wa.
Dear Thomas,
First of all, there is nothing wrong with your decision to abstain from sex before marriage. True love is not only proven through physical intimacy, but also through respect, patience, understanding and shared values.
If your girlfriend truly loves you, she should be willing to respect your convictions just as you respect her feelings. It is important for both of you to have an honest and calm conversation about your beliefs, expectations and future together.
Let her understand that your decision is not because you do not love her, but because you value both her and the relationship deeply.
At the same time, try to listen to her concerns without judging her. Relationships survive when couples communicate openly and support each other’s principles. Never feel pressured to do something against your values simply out of fear of losing someone.
A healthy relationship should not force one partner to compromise their morals.
If the two of you truly see a future together, then patience, trust and mutual respect will help strengthen your bond. Stay true to yourself while continuing to show her genuine love, care and commitment.
I wish you all the best.
My dad has threatened not to attend my wedding; instead, he has been raining curses on me.
Each morning and night, he would call and rain curses on me, telling me I was bringing shame and bad luck to my marriage because I told him, my step father will be present.
I have personally been to his house to invite him, yet he keeps telling me he can’t make it. What should I do?
Kwesi,
Suhum
Dear Kwesi,
Your dad’s curses, guilt, and threats come from his pain and fear of losing his role, but that doesn’t make his behaviour idle.
You can love him as your father and still set a firm boundary for him.
If he crosses that line, end the call or stop replying his messages. Protect your wedding and your peace by limiting contact, especially late at night and early morning, and stand by your partner.
Remember, respecting your dad doesn’t mean erasing the role your stepdad played – both can matter without problems.
Don’t let his behaviour dictate the start of your marriage. You can’t control if he comes around, but you can control not letting his anger affect your emotions.
