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Monsieur’s daughter —(Part 2)
David rose and opened the door to the spare room. It was neat, as everything else in the house. He sank into the bed and stared at the ceiling. He had never hoped or expected his life to turn out that way.
Until some 12 hours ago, all seemed to be going well. He had already made a huge impact on his students, and the school. He was doing some extra-curricular work which was bringing in decent, regular income.
He had married a great looking, responsible young lady, and they had been blessed with a beautiful daughter. The future could only be bright.
Yet all that had come crashing down. Gladys had been having an affair with her ex-boyfriend, during her pregnancy when he came to Ghana briefly, and over the last few days, when he returned.
He confronted her with the evidence, and her denial was pathetic. It was over. He had pointed that out to her. Over the next hour he did a systematic review of the changes he would make.
The marriage was certainly over. And sadly, so was the Aboso SSS job. He would take a new major step in the next three months. As he was drifting off to sleep, his wife brought Sarah into the hall to breastfeed her. He woke up to rock her to sleep as usual, and went off to sleep.
The following morning, he left early for Agona Nkwanta, and informed his parents about the latest developments. They were devastated, but promised to back him in every steps he took. He got back to school during the first break and carried on with his work.
He stayed on at work till after seven, renewing application procedures for a Master’s Degree programme in Germany which he had deferred. When he got back home his wife’s parents were waiting. His father-in-law wasted no time to get to the point.
“My son, we came here with a simple, though difficult, task. Our daughter has confessed to us that she has offended you greviously. She went behind your back and had, er, an affair, with a young man with whom she was previously in a relationship. She admits that she was foolish.
She says that her actions do not reflect a lack of respect for you as her husband, or her love for you. We are on our knees, my son, pleading with you to have mercy on her, take her back into your arms and get on with your life as man and wife. I have great confidence in you, that a great future awaits you. I’m humbly asking for your forgiveness, my son.”
“You have spoken well, Daddy. I have great respect for you and Mummy. You have been very kind and helpful to me, since I met Gladys. I regret, however, that I cannot be reconciled to her.
You see, Gladys resumed the relationship with Simon when he returned to Ghana some months ago. She was spending time with him at the hotel at a time when, as far as I know, she was carrying my child. And since he returned to Ghana a few days ago, they have continued to spend time at the hotel.
So this is not a one-off thing. It is a relationship. I’m not going to say or do anything publicly, but the relationship is over. I will give her my fullest cooperation to give our daughter the best of care, but I will certainly move on with my life.”
“I have heard you, my son. Your reaction is both predictable and justified. Here’s what I will do. I will give you a little time to think about my humble petition, and I will pray that God himself will touch your heart to tamper justice with mercy, and save this marriage.”
After this, two delegations from Gladys’s family went to engage David’s family to plead for restoration of the marriage, but he was adamant. They continued to live in the flat, apparently as man and wife, but although he didn’t disclose his plans to her, she knew that he would eventually move out. One morning, as they were leaving for work, Gladys issued an emphatic threat.
“David, my parents and relatives have been to see you, and virtually fallen at your feet, begging you to forgive me for my mistake, and allow us to move forward as man and wife, and take care of Sarah.
But it appears that you are a perfect human being who does not make mistakes, and will, therefore, not forgive mistakes. Okay, you can take whatever step you want to take, but remember I also have an option. I will teach you a very bitter lesson, a lesson which you will never forget till you die.”
David smiled and eased himself out.
A couple of days later, David got home to find that Sarah was not around.
“Where’s Sarah?” he asked her.
“Ah, David” she said with mock politeness, “there’s something I need to tell you. You see, Sarah is not actually yours. She is Simon’s baby. I’m very sorry for misleading you. Really sorry. I’m sure that being a young man, you will be able to find a nice young woman who will give you children as beautiful as Sarah.”
David stood and stared at her for a very long time while she laughed herself into stitches. Then he stormed out and took a taxi to his parents’ house. After listening to him, his father told him his blunt, hard opinion.
“My son, I want you to brace yourself for a tough time. It is obvious Gladys wants to punish you for rejecting her. She must have thought out her plan well before coming out to tell you.
You may want us to report to the police, social welfare or what have you, but my feeling is that if you play her game, she will string you round her finger for a long time. Therefore, I think you should call her bluff. Ignore her, difficult as it may seem. No matter how long it takes, the child will come back to us.”
“Mama, what do you think?”
“I agree with your dad. Of course, there’s always the possibility that Sarah will actually be Simon’s, but it is highly unlikely. She has just connived with him to steal your child. Let’s ignore her. She will expect you to confront her and so on, but leave her alone.”
“I will do as you say, Mama and Dada, even though it is very difficult. I will ask her to move out of my house. I will stay the night, and go back to Aboso tomorrow morning.”
There was no evidence of Gladys when he got home. She had cleared the house of virtually everything. David replaced some basic stuff whilst focusing on his next move. He found a replacement teacher for the school, and resigned.
Although, he tried to leave quietly, the students, teachers and parents organised a party for him. There was great outpouring of grief as most people had learnt about the circumstances under which he was leaving. As a token of appreciation for his passion for work, the school authorities named the playground Monsieur Park after him. He left for Germany, promising himself to work hard to put the last bitter experience behind him.
By Ekow de Heel
In the pursuit of nurturing healthy, fulfilling relationships, we often focus on understanding our partners, communicating effectively, and navigating conflicts. However, a crucial element is frequently overlooked: self-awareness.
Understanding ourselves is the foundation upon which successful relationships are built. Imagine being in a relationship where every conversation feels like a minefield, and every disagreement leaves you wondering if you are truly understood.
Now, picture a relationship where you feel seen, heard, and valued—not because your partner has magically figured you out, but because you have taken the time to understand yourself. This is the transformative power of self-awareness in relationships.
What is Self-Awareness?
Self-awareness is the ability to recognize and understand our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. It is the capacity to reflect on ourselves, acknowledging our strengths and weaknesses, and taking responsibility for our actions. With self-awareness, we are better equipped to manage our emotions, respond to situations more thoughtfully, and make informed decisions that align with our values.
How Self-Awareness Impacts Relationships
- Improved Communication:
When we are aware of our own emotions and needs, we can communicate them more effectively to our partner, reducing misunderstandings and conflicts. By recognising our tendency to become defensive in certain situations, we can take a step back, breathe, and respond more constructively. - Increased Empathy:
Self-awareness allows us to recognise and manage our own biases, enabling us to be more empathetic and understanding towards our partner’s perspective. By acknowledging our own emotional triggers, we can respond to our partner’s needs with more compassion. - Healthier Boundaries:
By understanding our own needs and limits, we can establish and maintain healthy boundaries, preventing codependency and resentment. Self-awareness helps us communicate our boundaries clearly and respectfully, fostering mutual respect in relationships. - Personal Growth:
Self-awareness fosters personal growth, enabling us to work on our flaws and become a better partner, friend, and individual. As we develop self-awareness, we become more resilient, adaptable, and better equipped to navigate life’s challenges with confidence and purpose.
Cultivating Self-Awareness
- Mindfulness and Reflection:
Regular mindfulness practices and self-reflection can help you develop a deeper understanding of yourself. Schedule time for reflection, whether through journaling, meditating, or simply taking a quiet walk in nature. - Journaling:
Writing down your thoughts, feelings, and experiences can provide valuable insights into your motivations and behaviors. Reflect on your journal entries to identify patterns, gain clarity, and develop a greater understanding of yourself. - Seek Feedback:
Ask trusted friends, family, or a therapist at Counselor Prince & Associates Consult (CPAC) for feedback on your strengths and areas for improvement. Be open to constructive criticism and use it as an opportunity for growth and self-awareness. - Embrace Imperfection:
Recognise that nobody is perfect, and it is okay to make mistakes. This mindset allows you to approach self-awareness with kindness and compassion, fostering a more positive and growth-oriented relationship with yourself.
As we cultivate self-awareness, we embark on a journey of growth, discovery, and transformation. By understanding ourselves, we can build stronger, more resilient relationships, and live a more authentic, meaningful life. Self-awareness is not a destination; it is a continuous process of learning, growing, and evolving—and one that requires patience, kindness, and compassion towards ourselves and others.
In conclusion, self-awareness is the cornerstone of healthy, fulfilling relationships. By understanding ourselves, we can communicate more effectively, empathise with our partner, and cultivate personal growth. As we strive to build stronger relationships, let us prioritise self-awareness, embracing our true selves, and loving ourselves for who we are. By doing so, we will become better partners, friends, and individuals—capable of building more profound, lasting connections with others, and living a life that truly reflects our values and aspirations.
To be continued …
By Counselor Prince Offei
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ONE profession which society has battled with is prostitution. Prostitutes can’t be stopped in their tracks. Soldiers have tried, policemen have doubled and redoubled to keep them off the streets. But the prostitute is like the cockroach. Sack it from the kitchen and it moves to the toilet where it can enjoy self-contained facilities. Drive it away from there and it scurries to the bedroom to become the landlord.
Prostitutes can live on land and sea. They are mysterious and defy gravity, a feat—even birds of the air have not successfully accomplished. They can change form and appear as bar girls; they dress like students; act like scholars and speak Oxford English. They are also like the chameleon but once their clients can identify them, no problem. The Sikaman prostitute normally enters the business as an amateur, having been introduced by a professional or a caricature of a pimp. But she learns quickly.
In a short time, she is able to take any size without wailing, unless of course the size is “international”.
Prostitutes are of every tribe, height, weight, colour and notoriety. These days, some are well-schooled with diplomas and degrees. They enter into the world’s oldest profession due to factors ranging from poverty to nymphomania.
Most prostitutes in Sikaman are often not sophisticated in outlook and modus operandi. Often, they easily betray themselves with their gaudy appearance, over-painted faces, skimpy skirts, cigarette in hand, walking with that kind of bottom-wriggling gait that can instantly turn a devoted clergyman into a he-goat.
In developed countries like Spain, prostitution takes different forms. Apart from those you can grab from the cheap bars and ghettos for single night stands and those managed by shameless pimps, there are some who are organised by well-established syndicates and specialised agencies.
If you need a girl for the night, you only have to telephone an agency, describing the kind and breed you want—race, height, size, colour (chocolate?), rudeness, smoking type, strip-teasing, shyness, whatever.
You give your address and the girl on time. You pay by the hour and cost per hour can make you feel dizzy without falling down. You’ll still be steady for the showdown.
The girls have been trained to use tricks and communication skills to make their clients spend several hours without really doing anything. A typical prostitute will make you drink, chat at length (they are very knowledgeable), cook for you, bathe you and breast-feed you. That takes some three hours and you have to pay if you still want her services.
If you grow a bit wiser and protest, and insist vehemently that you are tired of being babied and want some real action now, she’ll do another hour of strip-tease and belly-dance by which time you’re either bored or charged to bursting point.
And finally you will do it but never without a condom. And the kind of condom she’ll give you can’t be torn by any knife around the globe, not even okapi. Before you’re finally through, you’ve got some five-hour helluva bill to pay. Next time round, you’ll think twice and go in for the cheap-side who’ll even allow you to do it without condoms if you are tired of living and want to die of AIDS.
In Sikaman, apart from those who operate from hotels and bars, some operate in private homes. The clients come and line-up, each with a hard-on. When the queue is not moving fast some begin to sweat because they have a very low sexual boiling point. If they are not ushered in quickly they can cause problems.
They’ll start grunting and stamping and can disrupt the peaceful and orderly procedure. As it were, such clients need priority attention so that they do not cause a riot and disturb the public peace.
Incidentally, prostitutes don’t like dealing with such clients because they are bad business. They have no biblical patience at all. They rush too much, and that was why a prostitute once asked a client whether he was a Russian because he rushed a bit too much and messed up things.
Prostitution in Sikaman has taken a new turn. Girls as little as sixteen are selling their bodies sometimes with the passive connivance of their mothers. When the girls go out at 9.00 p.m. and return at 3.00 a.m, their mothers let them in without asking questions. Next day, the house is properly fed from the proceeds of the night adventure and everybody is happy and nobody talks. If you talk, no breakfast for you tomorrow morning.
The police are doing quite a job trying to get them off the streets but they go and return just like the cockroach. Many of them are surely agents for the transmission of the AIDS virus because they permit clients to forgo the condom. They only have to pay extra for the “raw” service.
Now, the idea of legalising prostitution has been a very controversial one. If prostitutes can hardly be gotten off the streets since they are defiant and are now very many, why not legalise the profession, issue licences (not to kids), offer them health services and health education, teach them how to protect themselves and others from sexually transmitted diseases and then compel them to pay tax?
That would force children out of the trade because the legal operators will themselves force out the kids who will be competing with them. They would even assist the police to kick out the 15 and 16 year olds.
If a bad phenomenon cannot be wiped out, a way must be found to make it less and less harmless, so that while it doesn’t benefit society in any grand way, it does not also harm it.
Any suggestions?
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