Features
Monsieur’s daughter – (Part 3)
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Things were falling in place for Simon Ababio, at long last. He graduated with a degree in biology, and started off with high hopes. He got a job with a research organisation near Koforidua, where his family had settled some twenty years earlier.
He was granted study leave with pay to do a post-graduate course in plant research in the US. He managed to complete it, with great difficulty, but he decided to get a job and put some money in his pocket before returning to Ghana. More than three years later, he had virtually no money to show for his time in the US.
His employers had terminated his employment, and his sweetheart Gladys had informed him that she had entered a relationship with someone else, because for three years he had not bothered to communicate with her.
On his father’s advice, he came back home and, after pleading with his employers, was reinstated. He tracked Gladys down to Aboso. Initially she was quite unpleasant, pointing it out that she was happily married and no longer interested in an affair with a loser.
Quite stung, he persisted, bombarding her with nice stories about how things were looking up after the initial difficulties. He was going back to the US to pack up and return to Ghana. Even though she was married, he would never forget her, and he would fight to get her back. For those sweet words, he was rewarded with some unforgettable nights in a hotel.
He surfaced again some months later, assuring her that he had returned to his job with a big promotion, and pleaded with Gladys to join him. She spent another few days with him at the hotel for the thrill, but she was never going to leave David for him. Simon simply talked too much, and you could never be sure where you stood with him.
But only a few days later, Gladys chased him down to Koforidua, and made a package of demands, threats and promises. First, she informed him that her husband had gotten to know about their relationship, and their marriage was over.
Of course, she blamed Simon for the situation. And since he had been making all kinds of promises, this was the time to fulfil them. She was ready to come and settle with him. She didn’t really believe his sweet words. She knew he hadn’t made much of his life, but she was willing to support him to become a real man.
All he needed to do was stand up and make a decent effort to achieve something. She was offering him all those on one condition. He would claim Sarah as his baby, because she had made that very declaration to David.
After only one moment’s hesitation, he accepted the entire package. Gladys was of course, good looking, resourceful and intelligent. She would take care of all his needs. He didn’t have to worry about food, nor deal with those money-grabbing girls anymore.
He bribed a few relatives to perform the traditional rites, and Gladys moved to Koforidua, where she secured a job as caterer in a technical school. Simon, his new wife Gladys and their baby Sarah started life as a family.
David settled well into the Master’s Degree programme at the University of Hamburg. The seaport city offered many opportunities and attractions to a multilingual student like him.
He started lectures early and closed at one each day. After lunch at the university cafeteria, he rode the bus to the huge harbour, where numerous jobs were on offer. He did two jobs each day, one with a shipping company, and another with a company that exported trucks and heavy duty equipment. He closed at six-thirty, grabbed supper on the way home and, by nine, was comfortably tucked in bed.
He was in great demand due to his ability to speak English, German and French. He was earning good money, and life was hectic but comfortable. But he began to get lonely, especially during weekends when he preferred to work only a few hours. One evening, he wrote a short email to Adoma.
‘Dear Adoma, I hope you are doing well. I am sorry it has taken me so long to write to you. Life has been very busy since I got here. I start lectures quite early, and work in the afternoon. I get home by eight and I am asleep before nine. I can’t believe one year has already gone.
So how is everyone at Aboso? I remember the good days, but I try not to dwell on them, in order not to get homesick. I am grateful for the opportunity to have served in the school.
So what have you been up to? I would like to hear from you regularly, if you don’t mind. Remember you said you have forgiven me my sins, and that we are friends. Please don’t forget to tell me about the naughty things you have been doing. I look forward to hearing from you’.
Adoma was very surprised when David’s name popped up on her phone during morning assembly. Delighted, she slid out to the staff common room and read it. She mentally wrote the reply several times, but she waited till after closing before she keyed in these words:
‘David, it is really good to hear from you. I thought you had forgotten all about me. Many thanks for the thought. I am doing well. My life hasn’t changed much since you left town. The school is doing well. I’m sure you won’t be surprised to learn that you are still well remembered. We won’t forget you for a long time.
I’m afraid I haven’t been able to do any naughty things yet. The closest I got was to have gone out to lunch with a guy at church who had politely told me that he was interested. During the lunch I thanked him for the attention, and told him that I was already in a relationship. Sorry to disappoint you!
Yes, David, I have forgiven you. Now that you have raised the topic again, perhaps I can tell you this. I really cared about you. I was very confident that in the near future you would realise that and ‘raise your game’, having already told me that you wanted us to be seeing each other. Unfortunately, I didn’t notice the other lady coming at you with blinding force and speed. So now you have it. I will certainly like us to keep in touch. One thing, though. Perhaps you should be kind enough to alert me about the presence of ‘opposition forces’. David replied that evening.
‘Adoma, thanks for your reply, which I have read many times. First of all, can you please make sure that no intruder invites you to breakfast or lunch ever again? Secondly, I wish I had learnt about how much you cared for me. For me, that is the main ingredient in a successful relationship. I won’t repeat the mistake. Okay, now I want to hear from you very regularly. I would like to raise my game. I hope to see you in the near future’.
From then, things moved at steady speed, and after the performance of the customary rites, Adoma spent three months with David, a pattern which continued for the five years that he stayed in Germany.
BY EKOW DE HEER
Features
Understanding women’s emotionsProofreadUnderstanding women’s emotionsProofread
The emotional lives of women are deep and complex. They are shaped by biology, the brain, and how women interact with the world around them. While everyone feels emotions, science shows unique patterns in how women process and express them.
1. How the brain and body work
Emotions are not just feelings in the mind. They are physical processes controlled by the brain and body:
Connected brain halves: Studies show that women often have strong connections between the left and right sides of the brain. This helps women link logic with intuition and feelings very quickly.
Strong memories: The brain’s emotional centre helps women remember emotional events with vivid detail. This builds strong gut feelings and helps women learn from past experiences.
Hormone changes: Hormones like estrogen and progesterone change throughout the month. Estrogen can boost good moods and energy, while progesterone can cause calmness or quiet reflection. These shifts are natural physical responses.
2. Empathy and connection
Women often show high levels of empathy and social skill:
Mirror neurons: People have brain cells called mirror neurons that let us feel what others feel. Research suggests these networks help women deeply sense and understand the emotions of people around them.
The “Tend-and-Befriend” Response: When stressed, men often react with fight or flight. Women often use a “tend-and-befriend” response. Driven by bonding hormones, women are wired to care for others and seek support from friends and community during hard times.
3. Society and expectations
Society also shapes how women express their feelings:
Different rules: Girls are often taught to be nurturing and expressive. However, society sometimes judges women harshly if they show anger or act too assertive at work. This forces women to balance their true feelings with outside expectations.
Emotional labor: Women often carry the weight of keeping families and workplaces happy. While this builds strong bonds, it can also lead to tiredness if they do not take time for themselves.
4. Resilience and Intuition
These biological and social factors give women great emotional strength:
The Power of Sharing: Many women are good at processing sadness, joy, and love by talking with others. This helps them heal and grow.
Listening to intuition: “Woman’s intuition” is real. It is not magic; it is the brain quickly putting together past experiences, physical clues, and deep observations into a clear gut feeling.
Conclusion
Women’s emotions are a powerful and sophisticated system. They are driven by brain science, body chemistry, and deep empathy. Understanding these systems helps us see the vital role women play in building strong relationships and communities.
By Robert Ekow Grimmond-Thompson
Features
Confronting newborn abandonment in Ghana: When a cry for help is heard in a dustbin – Part 2

The root causes: It is never just one reason
My years of counselling at CPAC show me abandonment is rarely an act of malice. It is the tragic endpoint of seven overwhelming distresses:
1. Severe maternal mental illness —The hidden emergency
a) Clinical Postpartum Depression (PPD): This is far beyond “baby blues.” It is a severe mood disorder that can appear weeks to months after birth. Due to a massive drop in hormones, extreme sleep deprivation, and emotional exhaustion, the mother feels deep sadness, worthlessness, and complete emotional numbness towards her baby. Picture: A new mother sits by her bed all day, staring blankly. Her baby cries for hours, but she cannot lift her hands to carry the baby. She whispers, “This baby would be better off without me.” She does not hate the baby; she feels she has completely failed as a mother.
b) Peripartum Psychosis (Postpartum Psychosis): This is a psychiatric emergency. Rare but extremely dangerous, appearing suddenly within the first 2-3 weeks after delivery. The mother completely loses touch with reality. She hears commanding voices telling her to abandon the baby, or believes the baby is possessed by an evil spirit or is a “spirit child” who will bring a curse. Picture: A mother genuinely believes she heard a voice saying, “Leave this child at the crossroads at midnight or your family will die.” She abandons the baby not out of hatred, but because her broken mind believes she is obeying a higher spiritual order to save her family.
c) Pre-existing untreated Schizophrenia: This is a chronic, severe mental disorder that existed before the pregnancy. The stress of pregnancy and labour shatters her fragile coping. She suffers from paranoid delusions — believing people want to poison her and the baby — flat affect (zero facial expression), and grossly disorganised thinking, making it impossible to plan how to feed or clean a baby. Picture: A young woman whose family called her illness “spiritual attack” instead of taking her for medication wanders away after delivery, completely forgetting she even gave birth, leaving the infant behind.
2. Extreme socio-economic deprivation: For many girls in some parts of Ghana such as Kasoa, Madina, or Bekwai, poverty is not a statistic; it is a daily panic. No money for antenatal care, no money for hospital delivery, no money for baby diapers or formula. When a mother cannot feed herself, the thought of feeding another mouth feels impossible. Some mothers say, “I left her where someone richer would find her, because I could not watch her starve to death in my hands.” It is a distorted act of survival.
3. Intense societal stigma and shame: In Ghana, pregnancy outside marriage, teenage pregnancy, or pregnancy from rape can bring extreme family rejection. The girl is called “spoilt,” beaten, banned from church, or sacked from school. The fear of bringing shame to the family name is heavier than the fear of police. So she hides the pregnancy for 9 months, delivers alone, and abandons in secret to protect her family’s “honour.”
4. Paternal abandonment — The Man Who Ran Away: Behind almost every abandoned baby is a man who vanished. He says, “It is not mine,” or “Abort it,” and switches off his phone. The mother is left utterly isolated — no emotional, financial, or social support. She is criminalised alone, but the abandonment started with him. Psychological research shows paternal denial is one of the strongest predictors of maternal panic and newborn abandonment.
5. Substance abuse disorders: Alcohol, tramadol, and other drug addiction impair the brain’s executive functioning — the ability to plan, judge consequences, and process emotions. A mother struggling with addiction may give birth in a highly intoxicated or withdrawal state, unable to comprehend the needs of the newborn, leading to neglect and eventual abandonment.
6. The spirit child cultural phenomenon and superstition: In some remote pockets of Northern Ghana and even in few parts of Central and Ashanti regions, public health research shows babies born with congenital deformities, severe disabilities, or whose mothers die in childbirth are branded as “spirit children” or cursed. In extreme instances, families, under cultural pressure, mandate that such babies be exposed or abandoned at shrines or bushes. This is not mental illness, but a harmful cultural belief system that still kills.
The invisible wounds
On the baby: Risk of death from hypothermia, sepsis, and infection. Survivors suffer Anaclitic Depression and Failure to Thrive due to lack of touch. As adults, they battle Reactive Attachment Disorder, chronic mistrust, and identity crisis — “Why did my mother leave me in a dustbin?”
On the mother: Lifelong hidden grief, intense guilt, chronic PTSD, depression, and elevated suicide risk. A prison cell does not heal this.
On the nation: Overburdened orphanages like Osu Children’s Home, draining health budgets, and overworked Social Welfare officers.
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