Relationship
Love in the dark: Understanding depression’s effect on marriage and relationships
Depression is a common mental health disorder that affects millions of people worldwide. According to the World Health Organisation (WHO), over 264 million people suffer from depression, making it a leading cause of disability globally. But what happens when depression enters the picture in our relationships, particularly in marriage?
Understanding Depression
Depression is more than just feeling sad or down. It is a serious medical condition that affects how we feel, think, and behave. In relationships, depression can manifest in different ways, such as:
• Loss of interest in activities once enjoyed together
• Changes in appetite or sleep patterns
• Difficulty concentrating or making decisions
• Feelings of hopelessness or helplessness
• Increased irritability or mood swings
• Withdrawal from social interactions or activities
Causes of Depression in Relationships
Some common causes of depression in relationships include:
• The loss of a loved one
• A serious illness or accident
• Divorce, separation, or break-up
• Chronic physical pain
• Feeling trapped or stuck in a situation
• Low self-esteem or bullying
• Trauma or abuse
• Lack of communication or intimacy in the relationship
• Financial stress or difficulties
Symptoms of Depression in Relationships
If you are experiencing depression in your relationship, you may notice:
• Increased conflict or arguments
• Lack of intimacy or emotional connection
• Feeling disconnected from your partner
• Difficulty communicating effectively
• Loss of interest in shared activities
• Feeling overwhelmed or hopeless about the future of the relationship
• Physical symptoms such as headaches or stomach problems
The Impact of Depression on Marriage
Depression can have a significant impact on relationship and marriage, affecting not just the individual but also the relationship as a whole. Some common effects of depression on marriage include:
• Strained communication and conflict
• Lack of intimacy and emotional connection
• Feelings of resentment or frustration
• Difficulty solving problems or making decisions together
• Feeling isolated or disconnected from each other
Seeking Help
The good news is that depression is treatable. If you are struggling with depression in your relationship, consider seeking help from a mental health professional. They can provide you with the tools and support you need to manage your symptoms and strengthen your relationship.
Some effective treatments for depression include:
• Cognitive-behavioural therapy (CBT)
• Interpersonal therapy (IPT)
• Psychodynamic therapy
• Medication
• Lifestyle changes such as exercise, healthy eating, and stress management
Supporting a Partner with Depression
If your partner is struggling with depression, there are ways you can support them:
• Listen to them without judgment
• Encourage them to seek professional help
• Offer emotional support and validation
• Help with daily tasks or responsibilities
• Encourage self-care and stress management
Depression can have a significant impact on our relationships, but with the right support and treatment, it is possible to manage symptoms and build a stronger, healthier connection with our partners. By understanding depression and seeking help when needed, we can work towards building more resilient and fulfilling relationships.
If you or your partner are struggling with depression, do not hesitate to reach out to us at Counselor Prince & Associates Consult (CPAC). Our team of experienced psychotherapists and psychologists are dedicated to helping individuals and couples navigate mental health challenges. Contact us today to learn more about our services and how we can support you.
To be continued …
Source: Excerpts from “HOW TO MAKE THE BEST OF YOUR COURTSHIP: Building a Strong Foundation for Your Marriage” Book by REV. COUNSELOR PRINCE OFFEI (Psychotherapist, Lecturer, Author, and Marriage Therapist).
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COUNSELOR PRINCE & ASSOCIATES CONSULT (CPAC COUNSELLOR TRAINING INSTITUTE)
Parenting teens can be challenging. But it can also be a joy. The key is to know how to care for yourself, first and foremost. Before you have children, you might think that parenting will come naturally. And, to some degree, it does. But there are days (and sometimes months and years) when all parents could use some extra support.
Last week we looked at some four simple yet powerful approaches for parenting teens that build strong relationships for the long-run. Here are the remaining two:
4: Keep communication going
Because we are often busy and distracted, we do not always take the time to really focus on our kids when they’re trying to tell us something. Take advantage of the time you have together. Having dinner together as a family, using car time to talk, or chatting before bed are good ways to stay in daily touch with your teen. Prioritise quality time as well as quantity: Consider having breakfast out on the weekend as a special catch-up time to chat about the week. Or schedule monthly “family meetings” to discuss how things have been going and any conflicts that have arisen.
5. Be an empathetic listener
Listening with empathy and caring is one of the most important tips on parenting a teenager. Researchers have shown that people’s brain patterns synchronise when they listen closely to one another and watch each other’s expressions. As a result, the connection between them becomes stronger. Not feeling truly heard can lead to isolation and lack of self-esteem which are the root causes of anxiety, depression, and substance abuse. Therefore, take listening seriously. It’s not just a way of coping with teenagers; it has an enormous impact on their well-being.
The price of ‘I do’: Why money honesty is the real marriage insurance –Part 2
She did not find out he was cheating. She found out he was drowning.
It was two weeks after their beautiful wedding. The jollof was still in the fridge. A loan officer called her number-not his-and politely asked, “Madam, please tell your husband to pay his overdue loan. We have been calling him.”
That was how she discovered her new husband had entered their marriage with a hidden debt of over GH¢ 40,000. No cheating. No other woman. Just a financial secret.
And that is how many Ghanaian marriages begin to die. Not with a shout, but with a secret alert on a phone.
We prepare for the wedding. We do not prepare for the wallet.
What is money honesty?
Let me define it simply. Money honesty is not that you both earn the same. It is that you both know the same. It is the ability to sit down and say without fear:
“This is how much I earn.”
“This is how much I owe.”
“This is how I was raised to see money.”
“This is what scares me about money.”
Financial transparency is not about control. It is about clarity. You cannot build trust on top of secrets.
Many couples tell me, “Counsellor, we love each other, love will handle money.” I always answer, “Love is the car, but money honesty is the fuel. Love without honesty cannot move.”
How To Buy Your Marriage Insurance Today – My 5-Step Protocol
If you are engaged, newly married, or even 20 years in marriage, you can still fix this. At Counsellor Prince & Associates Consult—CPAC, this is what I give couples:
Step 1: The 90-Minute Money Naked Session.
No phones, no blame. Each partner writes down on paper: Monthly income, monthly debts, monthly family obligations, savings, and your biggest money fear. Then you exchange papers. Read it. Don’t react for 24 hours. Just absorb.
Step 2: Create OUR Money, YOUR Money, My Money.
You need three pots. OUR money for rent, food, school fees, utilities, properties, and the like— joint contribution. YOUR money and MY money—a small agreed allowance no one questions. This stops the feeling of being controlled.
Step 3: The No-Secret Debt Rule.
Agree from today: No new loan, no new hire purchase, no new family financial commitment above GHS 500 without telling each other first. Not permission, but information.
Step 4: Talk About Your Money Personality.
Are you a Spender or a Saver? Are you Risky or Safe? Most Ghanaian marriages are a Spender married to a Saver. Neither is wrong. But if you don’t understand your partner’s personality, you will call his saving “stinginess” and her spending “wastefulness.”
Step 5: Do a Monthly 30-Minute Money Date
Not an argument date. Light, with tea. “How did we do this month? What worried you? What should we plan for next month?” Couples who do this divorce far less.
My Final Word
Before you say “I Do” at the altar, have pre-marital counselling and also have the money talk on the sofa.
Ask your partner:
“If I lost my job today, how long can we survive?”
“What debt are you bringing into this marriage?”
“How much do you send to your family monthly and will that continue?”
If he or she gets angry that you asked, don’t get married yet. A person who is angry about accountability will be abusive about money.
Marriage insurance is not bought at Star Assurance or Enterprise. It is bought in honest conversations when no one is watching.
The wedding costs one day. The marriage costs a lifetime. Don’t enter a lifetime contract and covenant with hidden costs.
You can still insure your marriage today.
Source:
Counselor Prince Offei, CPAC’s founder, is a leading Mental Health Professional, Marriage Counsellor, Author, ADR Expert/Arbitrator, and Spectator Newspaper Columnist. He writes on relationships, marriage, parenting, special needs support, and their connection to mental health. For therapy, counselling, or enquiries, contact Counselor Prince & Associates Consult (CPAC) in Accra on 0559850604 / 0551428486.
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