Relationship
Love in the dark: Understanding depression’s effect on marriage and relationships
As we manoeuvre the complexities of relationships and marriages, it is essential to acknowledge the significant role mental health plays in our overall well-being.
Unfortunately, mental health is often shrouded in misconceptions that can have far-reaching consequences on our relationships.
In this article, we will explore five common misconceptions about mental illness and how they can affect our relationships and marriages.
Misconception 1: People with
mental illness are violent and
dangerous
One of the most pervasive misconceptions about mental illness is that people who suffer from it are violent and dangerous. This could not be further from the truth. Research has shown that individuals with mental illness are more likely to be victims of violence than perpetrators.
In fact, studies have found that people with mental illness are two to three times more likely to be victims of violent crime than the general population.
In relationships and marriages, this misconception can lead to fear and mistrust. Partners may worry that their loved one’s mental health condition will lead to violent outbursts or unpredictable behaviour. However, with proper treatment and support, individuals with mental illness can lead healthy, productive lives.
Misconception 2: Having a mental
illness means you are “crazy”
Another common misconception is that having a mental illness means someone is “crazy” or unstable. This stigma can prevent individuals from seeking help and can lead to feelings of shame and guilt.
In relationships, this misconception can create tension and conflict. Partners may not understand their loved one’s mental health condition, leading to frustration and resentment. However, by educating ourselves about mental health and seeking support, we can work to break down this stigma and build stronger, more supportive relationships.
Misconception 3: Post-Traumatic
Stress Disorder (PTSD) only
affects military personnel
PTSD is often associated with military personnel, but the reality is that anyone can develop PTSD after experiencing a traumatic event. This can include survivors of natural disasters, domestic abuse, or sexual assault.
PTSD can have a significant impact on relationships and marriages. Partners may struggle to understand their loved one’s symptoms, leading to feelings of frustration and helplessness. However, by seeking support and education, couples can work together to build a stronger, more supportive relationship.
Misconception 4: Mental Health
conditions are rare
Mental health conditions are more common than we think. According to the World Health Organisation (WHO), one in four people worldwide will experience a mental or neurological disorder at some point in their lives.
In relationships and marriages, mental health conditions can affect anyone. Partners may struggle to cope with their loved one’s mental health condition, leading to feelings of burnout and resentment. However, by seeking support and education, couples can work together to build a stronger, more supportive relationship.
Misconception 5: Seeking help
for mental illness leads to stigma
Finally, many people believe that seeking help for mental illness will lead to stigma and judgment from others. However, seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness. Seeking help for mental illness can actually strengthen the relationship. By working together to address mental health concerns, couples can build a stronger, more supportive relationship.
The importance of education and
support
Education and support are key to breaking down the stigma surrounding mental health. By learning about mental health conditions and seeking support, couples can build stronger, more supportive relationships.
Communication is essential for the relationship’s health. Partners should feel comfortable discussing their mental health concerns and seek support from each other. By doing so, couples can work together to build a stronger, more resilient relationship.
In conclusion, mental health myths can have a significant impact on relationships and marriages. By educating ourselves about mental health and seeking support, we can work to break down these misconceptions and build stronger relationships.
If you are struggling with mental health concerns or know someone who is, do not hesitate to seek help. With the right support and education, couples can build a stronger, more resilient relationship that can withstand the challenges of mental health concerns.
To be continued …
Raising kids is one of the toughest and most fulfilling jobs in the world -and the one for which you might feel the least prepared.
Here are nine child-rearing tips can help you feel more fulfilled as a parent.
- Boost your child’s self-esteem
Children start developing their sense of self as babies when they see themselves through their parents’ eyes. Your tone of voice, your body language, and your every expression are absorbed by your kids. Your words and actions as a parent affect their developing self-esteem more than anything else.
Praising accomplishments, however small, will make them feel proud; letting kids do things independently will make them feel capable and strong. By contrast, belittling comments or comparing a child unfavorably with another will make kids feel worthless.
Avoid making loaded statements or using words as weapons. Comments like “What a stupid thing to do!” or “You act more like a baby than your little brother!” cause damage just as physical blows do.
Choose your words carefully and be compassionate. Let your children know that everyone makes mistakes and that you still love them, even when you don’t love their behavior.
2. Catch children being good
Have you ever stopped to think about how many times you react negatively to your kids in a given day? You may find yourself criticising far more often than complimenting. How would you feel about a boss who treated you with that much negative guidance, even if it was well-intentioned?
The more effective approach is to catch kids doing something right: “You made your bed without being asked that’s terrific!” or “I was watching you play with your sister and you were very patient.” These statements will do more to encourage good behaviour over the long run than repeated scolding.
Make a point of finding something to praise every day. Be generous with rewards- your love, hugs, and compliments can work wonders and are often reward enough. Soon you will find you are “growing” more of the behavior you would like to see.
Marriage is meant to be a sanctuary – a place where two people feel safe, seen, and supported. But what happens when the person who promised “forever” slowly becomes the source of your deepest emotional wounds?
As a marriage counsellor and mental health professional in Accra, I sit with men who whisper, “I feel invisible in my own home,” or “I’m constantly blamed for things I didn’t do.” Often, these men are not describing a “difficult wife.” They are describing years of living with narcissistic patterns -patterns that don’t bruise the skin, but shatter the soul.
Let me be clear: Narcissism exists on a spectrum. Confidence is healthy. Pride is human. But narcissistic personality traits become destructive when they are consistent, rigid, and designed to control, manipulate, or diminish the other partner. Research from the American Psychological Association shows that emotional abuse from narcissistic partners can cause anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, and even trauma symptoms similar to PTSD.
This article is not about demonising women. It is about naming pain so healing can begin. If you see yourself in these 7 red flags, know this: You are not weak, you are not crazy, and you are not alone.
What can you do if you see these red flags?
Naming the wound is the first step to healing it. Healing does not always mean divorce. Sometimes it means clarity, boundaries, and professional support. Here’s where to start:
1. Get professional clarity, not just advice
Friends may say “all women are like that.” They are not. A trained marriage counsellor or psychologist can help you separate personality traits from clinical patterns, and reality from manipulation. Clarity protects your mental health.
2. Set firm, calm boundaries
Boundaries are not attacks. They are fences around your dignity. Example: “I will not be insulted in public. If it happens, I will leave the room.” Boundaries teach people how to treat you.
3. Rebuild your support system
Narcissistic dynamics thrive in isolation. Reconnect with trusted male friends, mentors, family, or men’s support groups. You need voices outside the home to remind you that you are valuable.
4. Prioritise your mental and physical health
Therapy, exercise, prayer, journaling, medical check-ups — these are not selfish. They are survival tools. A wounded man cannot lead, love, or parent well. Heal yourself first.
5. Seek professional counselling or mediation, not war
If the marriage can be saved, a counsellor or ADR Expert/Arbitrator can create a structured, safe space for both partners to be heard. If it cannot, mediation protects children and assets from destructive conflict.
Final word to the man reading this
Brother, marriage should add to your life, not subtract from your sense of self. If you live daily with confusion, fear, and emotional emptiness, please hear me: You are not the problem for naming it. Silent wounds in marriage only heal when we bring them into the light.
You deserve a home where peace, not performance, is the atmosphere. Whether healing happens within the marriage through transformation and boundaries, or outside it through a safer separation, your mental health and dignity matter.
You are not alone. And you are not powerless.
Source:
Rev. Counsellor Prince Offei, founder of Counsellor Prince & Associates Consult (CPAC), is a leading Mental Health Professional, Marriage Counsellor, Published Author, ADR Expert/Arbitrator, and Spectator Newspaper Columnist. He writes weekly on relationships, marriage, parenting, special needs support, and their connection to mental health and psychological well-being.
For therapy, counselling, mediation, or enquiries, contact Counselor Prince & Associates Consult (CPAC) or CPAC Africa ADR and Mediation Centre (CAAMC) in Accra on 0559850604 or 0551428486.
Websites: https://princeoffei22.wixsite.com/website | https://princeoffei22.wixsite.com/author
