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 Love in the dark: Understanding depression’s effect on marriage and relationships

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The senior woman holds her chest and talks to the nurse to describe the pain she has been having.
The senior woman holds her chest and talks to the nurse to describe the pain she has been having.

 As we manoeuvre the complexi­ties of relationships and marriag­es, it is essential to acknowledge the significant role mental health plays in our overall well-being.

Unfortunately, mental health is often shrouded in misconceptions that can have far-reaching consequences on our relationships.

In this article, we will explore five common misconceptions about mental illness and how they can affect our relationships and marriages.

Misconception 1: People with

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mental illness are violent and

dangerous

One of the most pervasive miscon­ceptions about mental illness is that people who suffer from it are violent and dangerous. This could not be further from the truth. Research has shown that individuals with mental illness are more likely to be victims of violence than perpetrators.

In fact, studies have found that people with mental illness are two to three times more likely to be victims of violent crime than the general population.

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In relationships and marriages, this misconception can lead to fear and mistrust. Partners may worry that their loved one’s mental health con­dition will lead to violent outbursts or unpredictable behaviour. However, with proper treatment and support, individuals with mental illness can lead healthy, productive lives.

Misconception 2: Having a mental

illness means you are “crazy”

Another common misconception is that having a mental illness means someone is “crazy” or unstable. This stigma can prevent individuals from seeking help and can lead to feelings of shame and guilt.

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In relationships, this misconcep­tion can create tension and conflict. Partners may not understand their loved one’s mental health condition, leading to frustration and resentment. However, by educating ourselves about mental health and seeking support, we can work to break down this stigma and build stronger, more supportive relationships.

Misconception 3: Post-Traumatic

Stress Disorder (PTSD) only

affects military personnel

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PTSD is often associated with mili­tary personnel, but the reality is that anyone can develop PTSD after expe­riencing a traumatic event. This can include survivors of natural disasters, domestic abuse, or sexual assault.

PTSD can have a significant im­pact on relationships and marriages. Partners may struggle to understand their loved one’s symptoms, leading to feelings of frustration and helpless­ness. However, by seeking support and education, couples can work together to build a stronger, more supportive relationship.

Misconception 4: Mental Health

conditions are rare

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Mental health conditions are more common than we think. According to the World Health Organisation (WHO), one in four people worldwide will experience a mental or neurological disorder at some point in their lives.

In relationships and marriages, mental health conditions can affect anyone. Partners may struggle to cope with their loved one’s mental health condition, leading to feelings of burnout and resentment. However, by seeking support and education, couples can work together to build a stronger, more supportive relation­ship.

Misconception 5: Seeking help

for mental illness leads to stigma

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Finally, many people believe that seeking help for mental illness will lead to stigma and judgment from others. However, seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness. Seeking help for mental illness can actually strengthen the relationship. By work­ing together to address mental health concerns, couples can build a stron­ger, more supportive relationship.

The importance of education and

support

Education and support are key to breaking down the stigma surround­ing mental health. By learning about mental health conditions and seeking support, couples can build stronger, more supportive relationships.

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Communication is essential for the re­la­tionship’s health. Partners should feel comfortable discussing their mental health concerns and seek support from each other. By doing so, couples can work together to build a stronger, more resilient relationship.

In conclusion, mental health myths can have a significant impact on relationships and marriages. By edu­cating ourselves about mental health and seeking support, we can work to break down these misconceptions and build stronger relationships.

If you are struggling with mental health concerns or know someone who is, do not hesitate to seek help. With the right support and education, couples can build a stronger, more resilient relationship that can with­stand the challenges of mental health concerns.

To be continued …

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…Tips on healthy eating for children during holidays

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 During the holidays, it is important for children to enjoy it and indulge in holiday treats while maintaining healthy eating habits and making balanced choices.

Setting children up for healthy eating during the holidays is an excellent way to begin building their holiday eating habits as they grow into adults.

Here are some tips to help parents and guardians ensure healthy eating habits for children during the holidays.

  1. Be a role model.

Parents and caregivers play an essential role in influencing children’s eating habits. Offer children the same balanced meal you cook for yourself and other adults. Avoid making negative comments about food or the meal and keep mealtimes.

Keep to a consistent schedule.

A routine schedule can help minimise grazing and boredom eating. Try to offer three balanced meals and set snack times. Do not offer an alternative to the meal you plan to make for the family. But if your child does not like what is provided, don’t force them to eat if they are uninterested. Let them know that if they are hungry later, they can eat what was offered.

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Involve your children in meal prep.

Focus on balanced meals that include vegetables, lean proteins and complex carbohydrates.

Make healthy swaps.

Consider making healthy swaps, such as using whole wheat flour, offering whole fruits, reducing the sugar in baked goods, and limiting added sugars, especially from sugar-sweetened beverages like hot chocolate and eggnog. Consider making your beverages at home to reduce and control the amount of added sugar.

Encourage active play.

Make the holidays a time to engage in family activities. Take family hikes, spend a day at the beach or the bay, or enjoy a stroll in the neighborhood or a local park. These activities can help improve appetite and relieve boredom.

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Till death do us part? The changing face of marriage, divorce in Ghana

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Marriage has long been celebrated as a lifelong union built on love, commitment and mutual support. Across Ghana, wedding ceremonies continue to bring families together with the hope that couples will remain together “till death do us part.” Yet, behind the colourful ceremonies and joyful celebrations, an increasing number of marriages are ending in separation and divorce, reflecting the changing realities of modern family life.

According to the 2021 Population and Housing Census, about 42.9 per cent of Ghanaians aged 12 years and above are married, while 4.8 per cent are divorced and 3.5 per cent are separated, indicating that marital dissolution affects thousands of families across the country.

These figures suggest that although marriage remains a cherished institution, divorce has become a growing social reality.

For Ama, a 38-year-old businesswoman in Accra, divorce was never part of her plans. “We loved each other deeply when we got married,” she recalled. “But after years of constant arguments, financial pressure and poor communication, we realised we were hurting each other more than helping each other.” After ten years of marriage and two children, Ama and her husband decided to divorce. Her experience mirrors that of many Ghanaian couples who begin their marriages with hope but later struggle to overcome life’s pressures.

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Marriage counsellor, Mr Patrick J. Tengey explained that poor communication remains one of the leading causes of marital breakdown. “When couples stop talking and listening to each other, unresolved disagreements gradually become resentment,” he said. He added that financial difficulties, unemployment, infidelity, domestic violence, substance abuse and unrealistic expectations continue to place enormous strain on marriages.

His observations are supported by research conducted by psychologists Joseph Osafo, Kwaku Oppong Asante, Charlotte Asantewaa Ampomah and Annabella Osei-Tutu of the University of Ghana. Their study, which analysed divorce cases from courts in the Greater Accra Region, identified infidelity, financial problems, abuse, lack of intimacy, third-party interference and conflicts over gender roles as the major factors contributing to divorce in Ghana.

Marriage counsellor, Grace Mensah, believes many broken marriages could have been saved if couples sought professional help earlier. “Communication, trust and conflict resolution are skills that must be learned,” she said. “Unfortunately, many couples only seek counselling after the relationship has already reached a crisis.” The emotional and financial consequences of divorce often extend beyond the couple themselves.

Mrs Ofosu, a resident at Bohye, explained that children frequently experience anxiety, emotional distress and academic difficulties following their parents’ separation. “Children deserve stability,” she said.

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“Even when divorce becomes necessary, parents must continue working together for their children’s welfare.”

Family lawyer, Evans Nii, noted that many divorce cases involve disputes over child custody, maintenance and property distribution.

He explained that under Ghana’s Matrimonial Causes Act, 1971 (Act 367), the court may grant a divorce only when it is satisfied that the marriage has broken down beyond reconciliation.

The law also considers issues such as adultery, unreasonable behaviour, desertion and prolonged separation when determining whether a marriage has irretrievably broken down.

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He further explained that Article 22 of the 1992 Constitution protects the property rights of spouses during and after marriage, while the Children’s Act, 1998 (Act 560) requires that the best interests of the child remain the court’s primary consideration in custody decisions.

Religious leaders continue to encourage forgiveness, patience and reconciliation where possible. However, many acknowledge that marriages characterised by persistent domestic violence or abuse require immediate intervention to protect victims.

 Experts believe strengthening marriages requires both personal commitment and institutional support.

Premarital counselling, relationship education, financial planning and accessible counselling services, they say, can help couples navigate the challenges of married life before problems become overwhelming.

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French-American journalist, Mignon McLaughlin, once observed that, “A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.” Philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche similarly argued that “It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.” Their words continue to resonate with many relationship experts who believe lasting marriages depend on continuous effort rather than romantic feelings alone.

As Ghanaian society evolves, so too do expectations surrounding marriage. While divorce may sometimes provide safety and a fresh beginning for those trapped in abusive or unhealthy relationships, many experts believe stronger communication, mutual respect and timely counselling can help preserve marriages that might otherwise end in separation.

Ultimately, the promise of “till death do us part” remains a cherished ideal. Whether that promise becomes reality may depend not only on love, but also on patience, understanding, shared responsibility and the willingness of couples to grow together through life’s changing seasons.

By Sandra Obeng

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