Features
Looking twice at a lady
A FEMALE doctor has set new parameters for the definition of sexual harassment. A mortuary attendant commented on her buttocks and promptly got a letter from the management of the hospital. The attendant thought it was about wage increases.
It was when he read the letter that he realised that his seemingly harmless comment about the doctor’s powerful behind was being mistaken for sexual harassment.
But the hospital referred him to its Code of Ethics and stated it categorically that merely saying the doctor had big buttocks constituted sexual harassment, the consequence of which was summary dismissal.
The attendant has denied the charge of harassment, saying he was not referring to the doctor’s bottom but to that of a ward assistant with whom he is on very friendly terms.
CHRAJ is handling the matter, and I don’t quite know if the doctor and female ward assistant in question would be required to present their body frames as exhibits to aid in the final determination of the case.
Limits
This particular palaver is a real test case that would set the limits to what can be regarded as sexual harassment and what cannot be regarded as such.
I think in determining such limits, the Bible could be of help. Jesus is quoted as saying that if a man sees a lady and lusts in his heart for her, he has already committed adultery although he has not touched the woman.
Could this also be applied to sexual harassment such that a lady could press charges for sexual harassment if she could prove that a man, by his body language, lusted after her?
I hear some female groups have met and drawn up what constitute sexual harassment. One of them is that when you look at a lady in a certain way that suggests you admire her, you are in fact sexually harassing her.
Also when you look at a lady twice, then you must explain why. Why do you look at her, then turn round to look at her again? Such double sighting could lead to trouble for the beholder. So when you look at a lady twice, you quickly have to apologise for the second look and state that it was by mistake.
Does it, therefore, imply that when you look at a lady once you must ask her permission before you can look at her again?
“Taflatse, I have already looked at you once. Can I please have a second chance? I didn’t see the shape of your buttocks well the first time.” What a petition!
Purge
Well, Sikaman ladies have really started tightening the noose around the necks of the men. And pretty soon, men will be physically dragged to face justice to purge them of the sin of sexually harassment.
Believe me such men are in their millions. Some actually grab buttocks with five fingers, others grab breasts and others fondle. But the point of confusion is that some ladies enjoy the treat and even encourage it. Of course, others protest and scream to the high heavens.
So which one is sexual harassment? Is it only when the ladies protest or when they also enjoy it? The definition of sexual harassment must be very clear and unambiguous.
Now when women went to Beijing sometime in the 1990s, they came back with various strategies against men. Now marital rape is being crafted into a bill, so that when a man wants to have sex with his wife, he has to ask verbal or written permission, whichever is convenient.
If she doesn’t grant the permission, the man must go to sleep sad-faced. He is permitted to fume, but he can’t use force. If he does, he’d be hauled into the dock to face marital rape. If he doesn’t wind up at Nsawam, then of course, Akuse will be his resting place.
Now, can a woman be charged with sexually harassing a man? Legally, that is possible. If a woman, of mischief, or because she is on heat, decides to weigh your phallus, then you could report her to the police for sexual harassment.
The problem is whether or not the police will take such a case seriously. An amused policeman will tell you that if the woman wants it, why not give it to her? “This is foolish case!”
Freestyle
It is exactly like when a man goes to the police and reports that his wife has beaten him in a freestyle domestic brawl. The policeman at the charge office will look at his black eye and traumatised nose, and laugh.
“So you were standing there like a dummy and your wife beat you basaaa like this? Go back home, train hard so that next time you can put up a better show. How can a woman beat a man? As for this one, it is a foolish case.’’
“This article was first published on Saturday February 25, 2006
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The great people of Ga would say “Joo o Joo”—literally meaning “dance your dance.”
In today’s fast-paced world, it is common to meet people who think and act as though their way of living is the only valid one. They measure seriousness by their own sacrifices, routines, or what they term achievements—and sometimes dismiss others who choose a different path.
But life is not about proving who is more serious. It is about balance: following your individual principles while respecting the universal principles that bind us all together.
Life is both individual and universal
Every human being is on a unique journey. We have different callings, strengths, and seasons. For some, success comes early; for others, it comes later. Neither is more valid than the other.
The Bible reminds us in Ecclesiastes 9:11:
“The race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, neither yet bread to the wise, nor yet riches to men of understanding, nor yet favour to men of skill; but time and chance happeneth to them all.”
This means life is not determined by effort alone. Timing, circumstances, and God’s grace all play a vital role. What looks “unserious” to you may be someone else’s season of preparation.
Comfort without harm
True seriousness is not about harsh living or denying yourself joy. It is about finding what brings you peace and fulfilment while ensuring it does not harm others.
Paul writes in Romans 14:22:
“Happy is he that condemneth not himself in that thing which he alloweth.”
In other words, live responsibly and without guilt. Jesus Himself said the greatest commandment is to “love your neighbour as yourself.”
A friend may enjoy dressing simply, while another spends on fashion. Neither is less serious than the other—so long as their choices do not harm themselves or others.
Do not bruise another’s ego
One of the quickest ways to wound people is by acting superior—implying that your way of life is more disciplined, spiritual, or important than theirs.
Scripture warns us in Philippians 2:3:
“Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves.”
In church, some pray loudly and for long hours, while others pray quietly. Loud prayer is not necessarily more serious. God hears both. Looking down on the quiet one bruises their ego and reveals a lack of humility.
Even Jesus, though Lord of all, humbled Himself to serve. That is the highest model of seriousness—humility, not pride.
A balanced outlook
Life is not a contest of who suffers more, sacrifices more, or works harder. It is about walking faithfully in your calling while respecting the pace of others.
Jesus emphasised this in the parable of the labourers in the vineyard (Matthew 20:1–16). Some workers started early in the morning, others joined later in the day, yet all received the same wage. This shows that reward is not always about effort or hours—it is about God’s grace.
In family life, one sibling may marry young, while another chooses to build a career first. Neither is ahead of the other; they are simply on different paths.
Never think you are more serious in life than anybody. Pride disguised as discipline only blinds us. Life is a mixture of personal choices and universal principles. Live responsibly, enjoy what makes you comfortable without harming others, and above all, never bruise another’s dignity.
As Paul reminds us in Galatians 5:26:
“Let us not become conceited, provoking one another, envying one another.”
On the flip side: low self-esteem
Just as it is improper to think of yourself as more serious or important than others, it is equally dangerous to believe that others are more serious in life than you are.
Many people live with this belief unconsciously, constantly placing others on a higher pedestal. They assume someone else is more deserving, more purposeful, or better suited simply because of status or outward appearance.
This mindset gradually develops into an inferiority complex, producing poor decision-making, disempowered self-expression, and constrained personal growth.
When you constantly measure your worth against others, hesitation, self-doubt, and an unhealthy need for validation take root. Opportunities are missed because you believe others are better positioned or more qualified—even when you are capable.
Gradually, you settle for “low-hanging fruits” when you could achieve much more.
A reality often ignored is that people respond to the respect and value you place on yourself. Across all social interactions, people take cues from how you present yourself.
When you approach life with confidence and self-respect, others recognise your worth. When you undervalue yourself, others may do the same—not always intentionally, but because you may have unconsciously created that ground.
This does not promote arrogance or belittling others. Healthy self-esteem is about recognising your value without diminishing someone else’s.
Conclusion
Life is not a hierarchy where some people are meant to stand above others. It is a shared space where everyone is learning, failing, growing, and evolving in different ways.
Do not place yourself below or above anyone. Take yourself seriously—not by comparing or competing, but by believing that your presence, effort, and perspective matter.
Remember: people will always meet you at the level you choose to stand.
I, Onukpa, always see myself as God’s work in progress.
Email: jerryt353@gmail.com
By Jerry Mac-Eben Thompson (Onukpa)
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David picked up the phone to answer the call. Surprisingly, it was from Stella.
“Good afternoon, Stella. I hope all is well”.
“Yes, David, all is well. I wanted to pass on some information to you. Yesterday my parents and sisters went to the guy’s house and tried to reason with him, but again he was very rude, so my father took me away.
Early this morning I told my parents that I have had enough, and I would not go back. I will rather pursue a degree course as you advised, whilst continuing to work with them to sell the waakye”.
‘Well Stella, I think you have taken a very good decision. You have all my support”. “So can we talk when you close from work today?”
“Yes, of course. I will be there”.
Stella was waiting by the roadside. David stopped, and she got in.
“Good to see you, Stella. So, how are you feeling now?”
“I’m quite okay. I have a few regrets about having gone into a relationship that failed, but I don’t feel guilty because I went in with my parents’ blessing.
Perhaps I should have stood my ground and refused to go into a relationship in which I wasn’t personally convinced about. But I’m looking forward. I am ready to start the degree programme.
As I told you, I am interested in the accounting profession. Did you say Adwoa is studying accounting?” “Yes, she’s doing Part 1 of the Institute of Chartered Accountants programme at the Polytechnic. She started last month. She leaves the office at 2pm, starts at 2.30 and closes at 7pm”.
“That’s very interesting. Because I spoke to my cousin who did a first degree, and is now doing the professional accounting course. She advises that I start with the professional course if I am so interested, because on completion I would be able to do a Master’s degree in Accounting or Finance”.
“Ei, Stella, since when did you become so knowledgeable about these things?”
“Well, I give thanks to you, because since you suggested it to me, I have been searching the internet, and talking to two of my relatives. So can I discuss the admission process with Adwoa tomorrow?” “Certainly. In fact, take her number from my phone, and call her this evening. So you can go over the issues when we stop to buy waakye tomorrow.”
“That’s fine. Now I have something to look forward to. Many thanks, David”.
“I will accept only a small part of the thanks, because it’s obvious that you had it in you. A girl like you should be treated with great respect”.
Stella called Adwoa, and learnt that applications would be closing in a few days. So Stella went online, submitted her application and paid the application fees, and three weeks later she joined the course. She left the waakye joint at 1pm, got to school before 2pm and closed at 7pm.
One of Adwoa’s mates drove to Madina after lectures, so he dropped Stella at Dzorwulu. Within a few months, Stella had been transformed.
Aperkeh had rejected her, but she was now a pretty, smartly dressed and ambitious accounting student, whilst still assisting her mother in the waakye business. She and Adwoa developed a great friendship, not only sharing course materials but also visiting each other at home.
Over time, she and David also developed a fondness for each other, but they never discussed issues related to relationships until much later. On Saturday evenings, the three of them went out to eat and enjoy live music, and they seemed quite happy together. It was 7:30 at Parliament, the open air bar and grill where young guys met their ladies to chat in a pleasant environment.
Aperkeh and his colleagues, with their ladies by their side, had already had a bottle or two, and the conversation was flowing rather smoothly. Out of the blue, Boogie introduced an interesting topic.
“Hey, Aperkeh, do you know what? I saw your former woman, Stella, in a uniform, entering the Polytechnic. I didn’t know she was academically inclined”. “I’m sure you saw the wrong person. What would a waakye girl be doing at the polytechnic? I’m sure she wasn’t the one you saw. Stella had no class, and no ambition, that’s why I threw her overboard.
What was annoying was that a classless girl like that wanted to tell me what to do. She wanted to restrict my movements. She got angry when I got home smelling of beer. Annoying”.
“But Aperkeh,” Bookie replied, “isn’t that what any serious or sensible girl would do? You don’t expect her to sit there and watch you spend your salary on beer and girls, do you? Any woman who doesn’t complain is not worth keeping”.
“My brother, save your breadth. She’s already gone. And I have replaced her with two classy girls. The show goes on”.
“I think you will soon realise that you made a mistake with Stella. That girl is really beautiful, and she’s got character, and I’m sure she’s the one I saw entering the polytechnic”.
“You must be joking, Boogie. I have two gorgeous girls at my beck and call, both graduates. Why should I bother with a Waakye seller? And take it from me, Stella does not have the brains to go to the polytechnic. Now, let me get some more beer”.
By Ekow de Heer
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