Obaa Yaa
I made a wrong choice
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I started dating a young man in my neighbourhood. Interestingly, I became pregnant for him, without knowing him better.
The moment I got pregnant, I told him to go and see my family and pay the bride price.
He did the needful and I was so happy that he made me proud.
It has been hell for me after the marriage ceremony. He has become very authoritative and abuses me verbally.
Anytime there is a disagreement between the two of us, he would embarrass me whether people were around or not and later apologise.
I have moved out from my matrimonial home but my parents are telling me to go back because he is still my wedded husband.
What should I do?
Baaba, Sunyani
Dear Baaba,
My advice is that you consider reuniting with your husband. Engage him in a one-on-one conversation, accompanied by prayers asking for divine intervention to change him into the partner you desire.
Additionally, seeking guidance from reputable counsellors who will provide valuable insights to solving this problem.
By combining open communication, prayers, and professional advice, you may discover the best approach to address the challenges in your marriage and find a path that brings fulfillment and understanding for both of you.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I took off my wedding rings but could not find it again. I was washing when I took them off and placed them on a wall close to me. Honestly, after washing I forgot to pick them up until the evening, when my husband asked where my ring were, I quickly dashed out of the room to check where I had placed them, but they were not there. My husband made it clear that I was cheating that was why I could take my rings off and lose them.
I was packing to leave the house when the bags fell and I heard a tinkling sound of metals instead of plastic. I looked around the floor, and my rings were lying there.
Who took the rings and kept them there and why would the person do that to me just to shake the foundation of my marriage?
Oye, Tabora.
Dear Oye,
Your husband’s reaction was abusive, not just angry. Accusing you of cheating was just mean.
Rings don’t prove fidelity, trust does. Your response was fair: taking rings off to wash is normal, and cheating has nothing to do with it.
The fact that the rings ‘mysteriously’ ended up in your bags suggests someone moved them deliberately to cause conflict. A partner who jumps to punishment instead of problem-solving will do it again when the next misunderstanding happens.
If indeed your husband threatened and pushed you out, kindly talk to someone you trust in the family or a counsellor before moving back in. If you choose to stay, your husband needs to apologise and let peace to reign.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
My life started falling apart the very day I got married. I started experiencing a series of unfortunate events, which nearly broke me.
In the first year into our marriage, I lost a very lucrative job when my wife was pregnant.
I was scheduled for an interview at the Korle-Bu Teaching Hospital.
Immediately I got down from a taxi, out of nowhere, a motorbike at full speed knocked me down. I broke my leg and was admitted to the hospital for three months.
I lost the opportunity for the breakthrough. Since then, things have become difficult for my family. Is my problem spiritual or what?
Mawuli, Keta.
Dear Mawuli,
Stop linking your hardships to your wedding. Job loss, accidents, and unemployment are painful situations but that doesn’t mean your marriage is cursed.
In life, there are misfortunes and I urge you to continue to pray hard and wait upon the lord.
Focus on what you can control right now: your health, your finances, and your mental health.
Focus on your leg, take any work to build momentum, and consider therapy to break the “everything is a spiritual attack” cycle. Talk honestly with your wife; you two are a team, not the problem.
