Obaa Yaa
I Have No Feelings for Him
Dear Obaa Yaa,
We bumped into each other on orientation day as freshers on campus. I liked his smile, his choice of words, and charisma. I didn’t hesitate at all when he asked for my contact. Who wouldn’t want to be friends with a guy like this, I said to myself.
We texted more often, had conversations on phone, and our friendship literally grew very strong. We attended lectures together, studied together, hanged out together; everyone thought we were lovers.
He did everything for me—surprise dates, thoughtful gifts, pays my academic fees, and gives me a listening ear everyone would wish for.
One evening at a friend’s birthday party, standing in the middle of the audience, he proposed and asked me to be his girlfriend. I declined his proposal; this was because I have no feelings for him, and I just want us to be friends.
He is a man with good morals, so gentle, God-fearing, ambitious, a man every lady would wish for, but my heart just wasn’t in it. I wondered if love was supposed to be this complicated: the more he did, the more I felt like a friend, not a lover. He still wants me, but I want us to be just friends. What should I do?
Naa Kwarley, Kaneshie.
Dear Naa Kwarley,
This is a tough situation, and you’re handling it with both kindness and firmness.
Since you’ve already told him you’re not interested in a romantic relationship, it’s crucial to be clear and direct while still being respectful. I’d advise you to reiterate your feelings to him, emphasising that you value him as a person and appreciate what he’s done, but you see him more as a close friend. Make it clear that you hope you can still maintain a strong friendship, but it can’t be anything more.
It’s essential to be prepared for him to need space or time to process, so be patient and understanding.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
MY fiancé is a journalist with one of the reputable media houses in Ghana.
Plans are far advanced for us to tie the knot but my worry is that he’s always busy and comes home late every evening when I am in bed.
By the nature of his work and schedule, as soon as he comes home, he takes his bath and supper. The next thing is to sleep without spending time with me.
He has no holiday. On Sundays, he goes again to work after church service. I am beginning to entertain some fears that things will get worse when we get married.
I am the type who like to be pampered but my fiancé is not pampering me.
Please advise me to make an informed decision before it becomes too late.
Paulina,
Dodowa.
Dear Paulina,
THERE are no specified working hours for journalists. In short, they are always on the move.
That is why it appears they cannot be good husbands.
And if you want a man who will be at home and pamper you, then a journalist might not suit that purpose, unless he is on leave.
However, I wouldn’t discourage you. Journalists are very interesting people who learn a lot and can help you to widen your outlook.
Don’t look at the romantic aspect of it only; consider the future of the relationship, your self-development and the future of your children. I wish you all the best.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a Christian sister who believe in the biblical code of modest dressing as a mark of a true Christian.
My dress is always the long type, covering my knees.
My boss addressed me yesterday that such dressing was not needed in the company, particularly as a Personal Assistant.
He says my dresses should be office mini type to show my legs to attract a lot of customers since we are in the business of selling.
Obaa Yaa, I am confused about my boss’s demand as this will affect my Christian principle of decent and modest Christian dressing.
Please advise me.
Emefa,
Sogakope.
Dear Emefa,
Normally, Personal Assistants are generally expected to be smart in skirt and top of the same material or white top and blue- black skirt.
Unusually long dresses or skirts do not make Personal Assistant look smart, so employers will normally require that very long dresses are not worn by their PAs.
You could get skirts that are long enough to cover your knees so that your thighs are not exposed. You can look decent in that and do your job.
However, if your particular church does not allow the exposure of even your legs, then the only option is to resign and get another job where your kind of dressing will be tolerated.
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