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I have a question
There used to be a time when one lost an item in a taxi, it would be taken to the nearest police station to be kept for the owner to come for it. There used to be a time that people did not lock their doors when going to sleep.
There used to be a time when it was unthinkable to expect that armed robbers would attack travellers on our highways. There used to be a time when people did not find it strange to leave their items with the person sitting by them on a bus to look after them while they buy something at the market close to the lorry station. They knew that the stranger on the bus would look after the items well for them until they returned. I ,therefore, have a question as to why this is not so in our time?
Our grandparents told us of how it was unthinkable for people to steal foodstuffs from other people’s farms. There was something called “Tegare” a spirit which they used to worship and had fetishes through whom the spirit manifested itself and which revealed things and punished offenders, usually with instant death.
This kept people in line and prevented them from going wayward and conducting themselves in an ungodly manner like stealing, sleeping with their neighbours wives, cheating on their spouses etc.
Then comes the religion of the Whiteman, (who in my view is a confused person since the colour of his skin is more pink than white) who says There is a God who will punish evil doers at a later date when His son, Jesus Christ, would sit in Judgement.
The religion preached forgiveness and that we should turn the right cheek for another slap after the left one has been slapped. Is the current situation good for us as a people when stealing has become rampant and the chances of ever finding your item left in a taxi is zero on the average? I have a question:
The man who claims he knows God more than the African, starts the slave trade by enslaving a fellow human and trading people off like goods. Of course you cannot put the entire blame on the European because our own Kings and Chiefs were complicit in this inhuman and despicable enterprise.
But I have a question: Which of the two groups of people should demonstrate a godly character? The Africans who according to the Europeans were idol worshippers or the Europeans who worshiped the true God?
The selfish greed that characterised the behaviour of the African leaders in those days that influenced their decision to promote the evil agenda of the Europeans is still in display in most African countries. Otherwise why should a country like DR Congo with such a huge variety of resources both natural and human wallow in poverty?
I have a question: I really do. Are the history books lying to us that civilisation started in Africa, in Egypt to be precise? So what happened that we have suddenly become a continent of dependent people that do not seem to have a solution to our challenges? Did our leaders’ minds decide to go on holiday?
When the Caucasians decided to help one another so they can establish a united front to achieve prosperity for themselves, our leaders were more interested in going it alone. Look at how long it has taken us to create a common currency for the ECOWAS region. The less we talk about the AU project the better such that it took a country from another continent to build our headquarters of our African Union for us, how shameful.
When Nkrumah had this wonderful idea of African Unity, some selfish leaders felt that it was a threat to their egotistic parochial interest and for that matter teamed up with those in the Western world who dreaded the very idea of losing cheap raw materials to feed their industry.
Is something wrong with us? Why can’t we make the right choices? Why can’t we have empathy for our own brothers and sisters? Most of our leaders engage in corrupt practices, steal government resources meant for developmental projects and take them to the banks of the very advanced nations which loaned us the money in the first place.
They use the money to generate more wealth and keep on loaning money to us at rates that ensure that we are kept in perpetual poverty. They then come with all sorts of prescription as to how we can get out of our economic challenges. We implement them yet we never seem to get out of our challenges and it becomes a vicious cycle, year after year.
Do you recall a certain, Mobutu of then Zaire now DR Congo, Idi Amin of Uganda, Siad Barre of Somalia, Sanni Abacha of Nigeria, Gadhafi of Libya, and Mugabe of Zimbabwe? These were people who repressed their people and ruled like their various countries belonged to them.
We must not forget a certain J.J. Rawlings of Ghana who later metamorphosed into a democrat. When everyone was criticising Sanni Abacha, J.J. Rawlings was praising him. Years later, J. J. Rawlings confessed that he took 2.5 million dollars from Abacha, although the man who handed over the money to Rawlings claimed it was five million dollars. Now we have Museveni of Uganda, Al Sisi of Egypt, Conde of Guinea, and Ouatara of Cote D’Ivoire using all manner of tricks to stay in power.
People go and bring in foreigners to destroy our land through illegal mining and they get away with it. Things that would not be allowed to happen in their countries, we allow them to do here. Our water bodies are now polluted. Our arable land is being destroyed and is shrinking in size, year after year.
Until I see real leadership being demonstrated, where corruption is made a very expensive and dangerous activity, where there is a willingness to enforce the law no matter the status of the person or persons involved, where I see parliamentarians behaving as honourable people, until I see people in leadership positions putting the nation first, I will still have a question:
By Laud Kissi-Mensah
The writer is a social commentator
THE state of feeling rejected, could be a terrifying experience especially for those who have become used to fame. If not properly addressed, it could lead to depression and the consequences, could be disastrous.
When you are on top of your game in whatever profession you find yourself such that you become famous, a lot of people try to associate with you. The phone never ceases to ring and one is tempted to feel loved and very important.
When a disaster strikes and the fame or the money which was the source of the attraction fades away, the circle of friends and fans begin to shrink and the phone will start to stop ringing until the call stops voting completely.
You will be shocked at how people you considered friends, will no longer be calling you or pay casual visits as they used to. You will begin to notice that messages you leave after calling them and not getting a response are not replied to and that is when you begin to know who your true friends are.
One of the most popular movie stars was an actress called Sharon Stone. In an interview with one of the media houses that was published, she spoke about how people who should have come around to encourage her in her moment of depression, shunned her. The calls stopped coming.
This is what the Bible admonishes that the arm of flesh will fail you and therefore we should put our trust in God. It could be a very frightening experience and can easily lead to depression.
Human nature being what it is, people will want to get close if things are okay. Everybody wants to associate themselves with interesting things, famous people, rich people etc for mainly selfish reasons.
We need to develop the habit of putting our trust in God and relying less on human beings. The lesson we have to take along in life is that, no one marries his or her enemy so how come people who took vows that they will love each other become so hostile to each other that they want to go their separate ways in life? Such is the reality of life.
It is therefore prudent for people to recognise that, life is full of uncertainties and so there is the need to prepare your mind for uncertainties so that when they occur, they do not disorganise your mental sanity.
A lot of people have experienced situations where people who they could have sworn will never betray their trust have disappointed them when they were through challenging moments.
If there is one thing famous people should desire, it should be the ability to identify who are true friends are. Countless stories abound regarding incidence of celebrities who have lost their shine and their wives divorcing them soon after.
It is sometimes useful as a famous or rich person to sign a prenuptial agreement before marriage to safeguard or protect yourself from any future unpleasant surprises.
People can be very pretentious these days, it goes both ways. There is this real life story where a man married a divorced wealthy woman and convinced her to sell her house so they could build a new one together, with the excuse that people are gossiping that he is being housed by a woman.
The woman agreed and they put up a new building. After a few years the man asked for a divorce, only for the woman to realise that the land on which the building was situated, was bought in the man’s name.
This can drive a person insane, if you are not mentally tough and this happens to you. When people hear that you are homeless, a lot of your so-called friends will stop calling, so that you do not become a burden on them.
By Laud Kissi-Mensah
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‘But, er …. I don’t even know your name’.
‘Paul. Paul Allotey. I’m Sarah, by the way. Paul, why don’t you leave me here, since this is the last important thing I’m doing today’.
‘Okay. Now Sarah. I was just thinking. You will be here at the cafe for about an hour. By then it will be about twelve thirty. Then, you would be thinking of buying yourself some lunch, to eat here or to take home. So if you would please allow me, I will take you to one of the nicest eating places in town, and after you have sorted that one out, then I can drop you home. Just that one errand, then I won’t bother you again’.
‘You are not bothering me at all. You are being very kind to me. And I just realised you are a mind reader too. The last item on my agenda was lunch’.
‘I’m so glad I appeared at your doorstep, just in time’.
‘Okay. Now Paul, since you say the cafe is a comfortable place, let’s go in together, and you can do your work while I get my application done’.
‘Okay, Sarah. Thanks. Let’s go’.
We got back in the car at eleven forty-five.
‘So where are we going, Paul?’
‘To Royalty restaurant. It’s a twenty minute drive away’.
‘So, do you enjoy your job?’
‘Most certainly. I won’t change it, not even to be President. And am I right to say that you are preparing to enter the university?’
‘That’s my plan. I hope it works’.
‘It will, if you are determined, and disciplined. You look very much like a disciplined person’.
‘Thank you very much’.
We arrived at Royalty in twenty-five minutes, ‘You are joining me for lunch, Paul’.
‘Thanks for the honour, Sarah. But the bill is on me’.
‘Aren’t you taking on too much for one day?’
‘I never do anything that is bigger than me, Sarah’.
Over the next hour and a half, we discussed fashion, local and international politics, and sports, as we ate and relaxed. Finally, he drove me to the shop.
‘I will never forget you, Paul’.
‘I’m glad to have been helpful. But if you don’t mind, I’ll say it again, your husband is extremely lucky. You are really beautiful’.
‘Thanks again. But do you mind if I call you sometime in the future?’
‘Certainly not. Let me write it here. I will not ask for your number, for obvious reasons. But I will be looking forward to hearing from you. And hopefully, I will see you next month, when I call to drop your bill’.
‘Okay Paul. See you then’. What a lovely day, I said to myself as I opened the front door. I closed the shop and got home by seven. I went straight to the bedroom, stood in the mirror and took a good look at myself. ‘You are a very beautiful woman, Sarah. Never forget that’. I will not forget that, again.
Over the next several weeks, Martin and I had very little to do with each other. In the morning he ate his breakfast and after a shabby ‘I’m going’, he left. He came home around eight at the earliest, ate his dinner and, already soaked in beer, went off to sleep.
He spent the greater part of the weekends at the club house with his friends, playing tennis and partying. My mind was focused on furthering my education, so I didn’t complain to him, and didn’t bother to inform my parents about what was happening. I had decided that I would only take action if he lifted his hand against me again. I spent my free time reading all manner of interesting stuff on the internet, and chatting with my sister on WhatsApp.
One evening, he came home at about eight, rushed to the bedroom and rushed out. An envelope, obviously containing money, dropped out of his pocket, and I picked it up and followed him. I was going to call him and give it to him, but I noticed that there was a young woman in the car, so I went back in, counted it and put it in a drawer in the hall. He came back after some ten minutes.
‘Excuse me, I dropped an envelope containing money. You must have seen it’.
‘Yes, I saw it. Actually, I followed you, and was about to call you and hand it over to you when I realised that there was a woman in the car, so I came back in. I counted it. One thousand cedis.
‘Well let me have it. I have to be going’.
‘I will let you have it if you will tell me who the woman in the car is, and why you are going to give her that amount of money’.
‘Listen, if you waste my time, I will teach you a lesson you will never forget. Give me the money now!’
‘Here’s what we will do, Martin. I know you will give money to her anyway, so I will give it to you, if you will withdraw the threat you just issued. But I want you to know that I will be taking some steps from tomorrow. Things are getting out of hand’.
‘Okay, I’m sorry I threatened you. Can you please give me the money’. I handed it over to him, and he ran out’.
The following morning, I waited for him to finish having breakfast, and told him I wanted to have a word with him urgently.
‘You better be quick. You know I’m going to work’.
‘Well, I want to inform you that I will inform my parents, and your parents, about the situation in this house. As I said yesterday, things are getting out of hand. You spend most of your time drinking. You get drunk every evening, and through the weekend. And you are also spending your time and money on a prostitute’.
‘How dare you? One more stupid word from you …’
‘Am I lying, Martin? You have just started life, yet you are behaving like a rich, elderly man who has already seen his children through university, and can afford a life of fun. As I said, I’m going to inform our parents. Maybe your parents can straighten you out before it is too late’.
‘Look, we can talk this evening. It’s nothing like what you are saying’. He walked away, shocked.
That evening, I was expecting to have a meaningful discussion with him, but his mother called early in the evening to offer me some ‘advice’. Her son had called to say that certain developments at home were disturbing him so much that they were beginning to affect his work.
And, ‘as a loving mother to her daughter’, she was advising me to submit to my husband, and support him in prayer, and not ‘drive him from home’. Men would always be men, and she was telling me ‘from experience’ that no matter how much time Martin stayed away from home, he would always come home to me.
She had been a young wife before, so she understood the challenges I was facing. So I could be assured that if I followed her advice, all would be well. And, of course, she didn’t allow me to tell my side of the story.
Martin came home very late, and very drunk. And from the next morning, he carried on as before. With some hesitation, I called my dad and told him all that had gone on.
‘Well, my daughter. I’m not going to say “I told you so”. I was only trying to protect you. So here’s what we’ll do. Continue doing the best you can, and try not to give him any excuse to harm you, but if things continue to deteriorate, I will take you back.
A couple of days later, my cousin Dinah arrived in Accra from Brussels, having completed her medical course. With Martin’s agreement, I went to Koforidua and spent a couple of days. I spent most of the time chatting about her experiences in the US, but we also discussed my relationship with Martin, and she endorsed Dad’s decision to take action if Martin’s behaviour did not change after two weeks Elaine informed Mom and Dad. We endorsed Dad’s decision to take action if there was no change in two weeks.
Dinah returned with me to Takoradi. Her plan was to spend a couple of weeks, and return to Accra to be posted. I called Paul Allotey, and asked if he would meet her for lunch and, if possible, show her some interesting spots. Delighted, he suggested that we meet at Royalty the next day.
I told Martin about it, to remove any possibility of future disagreement over ‘going out with men’.
‘It’s fine with me’, he said, ‘if, of all the people who could show your sister round this town, you chose a borla man. Doesn’t that indicate the kind of person you are?’
‘ First of all, Martin’, I’ve spoken to him a few times, and he comes across as a decent guy, so I think it is rather unfortunate that you are writing him off when you don’t know him’.
By Ekow de Heer
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