Obaa Yaa
I cannot date him
Dear Obaa Yaa
I am 28 years old and it has always been my dream to marry before 30 years.
I met this guy who loves me and I loved him too, but I think I cannot date him.
The guy is so caring, loving and he has all the qualities I need in my future husband.
Unfortunately, l had an affair with his work colleague a year ago. Though, that affair between me and the gentleman has ended, l feel like I cannot continue to date him.
I haven’t told him about the affair because I don’t know how to go about it and I’m scared of how he would react.
We have known each other for months and l feel like telling him but l can’t help myself because it will hurt him so much.
Though l love this gentleman, the fact that I can’t date him kills me slowly. My heart is in pains because I love him and I feel like l have betrayed him.
Please, should I go ahead and tell him?
Lucy, Accra.
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Dear Lucy,
There is no need crying over spilt milk. You willingly went in for that secret affair despite the fact that you claimed you loved him.
Your behaviour suggests you cannot stand the least pressure in your relationship and this could create serious problems for you.
If you really love him, under no circumstance should you have betrayed his trust. All the same, the harm has already been done but you must make conscious effort not to repeat that mistake.
This is the time for you to redouble your love for him. You need to make sure he plays a centre stage in your life.
What has happened should serve as a warning and a guide throughout your relationship.
Since you can guess his reaction if you should tell him, keep it to yourself and let this serve as a warning and guide for you throughout your relationship.
I am in my final year in the university. My elder sister has been very supportive after the death of our parents.
My sister has a boyfriend who visits often. Anytime he comes around, she wonders why I don’t entertain him and why I suddenly find an excuse to leave the room. She takes it as me being cold, even jealous, and it angers her more than I can even imagine.
She has no idea about what is going on behind her back. He has asked me out on several occasions and looks at me in a lustful manner.
But my problem is that I never told my sister the real reason I avoid her boyfriend. I have kept my distance, not out of hate for her or for him, but because I carry a secret that would break her heart.
Princess, Tema.
Dear Princess,
Why are you keeping this away from your sister? As long as you continue to live under the same roof with your sister, tell her about her boyfriend’s behaviour.
Have you by any chance confided in any relative? I’ll advise you to open up to someone, at least to take the weight off your shoulder.
Act fast before the situation exacerbates.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a young lady of 23 years who lives in a compound house around Kasoa in the Central Region. I live with my auntie.
We are not always at home because she spends most of the time at the market due to her business, and I am mostly on campus.
One sunny afternoon, I overheard some tenants talking about another who takes her bath in a basin and throws the water away. We have two big bathrooms, but just because she doesn’t want to scrub, she has refused to bathe there.
Although she is usually not around due to her work as a nurse, it doesn’t warrant her to do as she pleases. We have spoken to the landlord about it, but she seems unconcerned. What should I do?
Beatrice, Accra
Dear Beatrice,
I am surprised that your landlord seems unperturbed.
Have you considered having a conversation with the tenant to find out why she ignores the chores? She does not seem bothered about the kind of perception the other tenants have about her.
Why would a young lady who is a nurse and an advocate for healthy living be this lazy and unconcerned about her surroundings?
No excuse should be tolerated just because she’s a nurse and mostly not around.
