Obaa Yaa
He is back for his child after 8 years
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Our marriage was blessed with a lovely boy who has become the delight of many in the family.
Eight years into the marriage, my husband travelled to the USA. While there initially, he was communicating with us frequently but stopped at a point and all attempts to reach him were unsuccessful.
After five years, he called to inform me that he was married, therefore, l should accept proposal from any man who will express interest to marry me.
Eight years after, he has returned to Ghana to take my child away, who is my companion and my only source of joy.
This man does not respect me and my family. I will resist any attempt by him to carry out this paln.
What should l do?
Akua, Accra.
Dear Akua,
The close union which has developed between you and your child has reached a stage that separation will be difficult for you under the circumstance. This is where the problem lies.
Secondly, things would have been better if you had re-married and preoccupied with serving the interest of your new husband.
Though you are no longer together, the two of you can reach a workable settlement to your mutual benefit.
You should work towards shaping the holistic development of this child for a better tomorrow.
Try to involve your elders if it is becoming difficult to help find a workable resolution to the problem.
Greetings
Mr George Kudiabor. Our hearts are glad on the occasion of your birthday. Though belated, we still wish to indicate that we love you and cherish you for playing an invaluable part in the family. May God bless, protect and guide you towards the right path in life. Hold onto your maker and enjoy the beauty of life.
From: Your lovely wife, children and members of The Third Generation.
Madam Lydia Som Yeboah. March 6,was your birthday and we would like to celebrate you for the efforts made to train the youth to enable them to assume responsible positions in the society. We very much appreciate this and pray for God’s protection and guidance for you.
From: Alfred Nii Arday Ankrah
Mr Edward Ansong. March 8, was your birthday and we wish you the best in your endeavours. May you be a blessing to your generation and grow in the grace, peace and love of God. Belated happy birthday.From: New Royal International School Old Students
Obaa Yaa
My Stepfather at ‘war’ with me over my late mother’s house
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a 39-year-old woman and the eldest of four children. My mother died five years ago. Before her death, she owned a house where she lived with my stepfather and my younger siblings. My stepfather had been married to my mother for more than 20 years.
After the death of mother. My stepfather has gone to court, claiming that the house belongs to him. He says he contributed money towards the construction and maintenance of the property and that my mother’s children have no right to interfere with it.
He has even accused me and my siblings of trying to take the house from him.
I am shocked because my mother was the person who acquired the land and started the building. She also told us several times that the house was meant to remain in the family.
There is no written agreement between my mother and my stepfather about who owns what, and I am worried that this case could divide the family permanently.
My younger siblings are also angry with me because they believe I should fight my stepfather until the house is given to us.
Obaa Yaa, should I fight him in court or try to settle the matter outside court?
From Frimpongmaa,
Assin Praso.
Dear Frimpongmaa,
I am sorry you are going through this. A dispute over your late mother’s home can be very painful, especially when it involves your stepfather. Do not give up on the house or sign any document simply because he has sued you. Being sued does not mean that he automatically owns the property.
Find out exactly what your stepfather is claiming, for example, whether he says the house belongs to him, that he is the beneficiary, or that you have no right to the property.
The court will determine who legally owns the property based on the applicable succession law and the evidence.
The exact answer can change considerably depending on where the house is located, whether your mother left a Will, how she acquired the house, what type of marriage she had with your stepfather, whether there are other children, and the applicable customary/statutory law.
Obaa Yaa
I can’t meet demands from my husband’s family
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a woman married for over 17 years and blessed with three children.
My father passed away two years ago and left some property to me and my two siblings.
Among the things I inherited was a piece of land and a house which I intend to keep for my children’s future.
My husband’s family are putting pressure on me to give up the property and allow my husband to take control of it. They are saying that because I am married, anything I inherit should benefit my husband and his family as well.
I have tried to explain that my father deliberately left the property to me, but they accuse me of being selfish and disrespectful to my husband’s family.
I am now confused. I love my husband, but I don’t want to lose what my father worked hard to leave behind.
What should I do?
Adzo, Ho
Dear Adzo
If the inheritance legally belongs to you, you should not feel pressured to surrender it simply to be at peace with your husband’s family.
At the same time, avoid making a rush decision based on anger or fear.
I don’t see the reason why your husband’s family wants to take control of the land.
Keep copies of relevant documents and, if necessary, seek legal advice.
Do not sign any document transferring, renouncing your interest until you fully understand its consequences.
You should also have a good conversation with your husband. Ask him why his family wants you to hand over your inheritance to them and whether he supports their position.
Remember that family pressure is not the same as a legal obligation. You can respect your husband’s relatives without surrendering something that is rightfully yours.
If you eventually decide to share part of the inheritance, let it be because you genuinely wanted to, not because you were intimidated or emotionally overstretched.
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