Obaa Yaa
Exchange house with abortion
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I have been in a relationship close to five years with a married man and have enjoyed every aspect of it. My lover ensured that we both went on trips within and out of the country.
Our relationship took us through interesting moments and during one of our outings, we were nearly caught in our hideout by his wife who attended a seminar at the same hotel we lodged.
Having suffered many insults and embarrassments from his wife, l became pregnant and he impressed on me to abort it in exchange of a house.
Unfortunately, six months after causing the abortion, my lover decided to back out of the relationship with an excuse that l cheated on him and that he would not allow himself to be deceived by me because he had learnt a bitter lesson from the past.
What should l do?
Sarah, Accra.
Dear Sarah,
The challenges you have gone through explain the fact that it is not safe and acceptable to fall in love with somebody’s husband.
The insults, humiliations and disgrace you might have gone through should be enough to convince you to take a definite decision to break up the relationship with this man. It is not advisable to take delight in the support you are receiving from him.
You will never know peace so long as you maintain this unhealthy relationship. This is the time to take control of your life and resist the temptation of falling in love with this gentleman again.
Dear Obaa Yaa
I GOT married to a lady from my hometown (name withheld) because tradition does not allow us to marry people from other places. We have been living in Europe for the past six years after marriage, but she is very demanding.
For all these years, anytime my wife gets pregnant, she’ll always tell me she wants to deliver in Ghana so that she can get some help in taking care of the baby. Meanwhile, giving birth in Europe would have been a great benefit to my wife.
However, my wife is currently in Ghana to give birth to our second child and wants to spend about six months. Luckily, her brother disclosed to me about the building projects my wife was handling. That’s how I found out she wants to deliver in Ghana to supervise them. Obaa Yaa, I am confused.
—Enoch, Hamburg
Dear Enoch
I DON’T really understand why your wife is playing smart. From the look of things, both of you are happily married and making memories. The question is, what stops her from telling you that she is building in Ghana and needs your support?
I will suggest that you demand to know from her the source of the money she is using for the projects. Open communication is key to resolving this matter and ensuring trust in your marriage.
Dear Obaa Yaa
I AM a 30-year-old lady who holds a degree in Business Administration from the University of Ghana (Legon). I am married to a very wealthy man who provides me with everything I need.
My problem, however, is that my husband doesn’t want me to work. His explanation is that I am too beautiful, and for that matter, he is scared to lose me. His explanation doesn’t make sense, and I am very angry about his decision.
Secondly, the children are too young, and he is also not ready to employ a nanny, which makes me feel that I am a prisoner. This is a serious problem, and if I am not careful, it will affect my health since I am always indoors. I need your view on this, Obaa Yaa.
—Tina, Ada
Dear Tina
I UNDERSTAND where you are coming from because you want to work and explore. In this era, even if your husband is a billionaire, you need to work to make your own money in case any misfortune happens.
He pays me GH₵5,000 every month for being a housewife, so he doesn’t see the need for me to stress myself about work. I am not happy with this sort of life because, as a woman, it is not everything that I can ask from him. This has been my headache for some time now. Initially, I didn’t see it as a problem, but I realised that in the 21st century, being an independent woman is the best.
For close to five years, I have virtually been under house arrest; I am getting the feeling along the line that when only one person shoulders all costs at home, it makes the other person feel useless.
You need to have a heart-to-heart talk with your husband. Tell him that even if he doesn’t want you to work for any company, he should set up a business for you to manage to reduce the boredom in your life. I hope that if you subtly put this point across, he will change his mind and get you something to do.
