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DNA and marital deceptions

Sikaman Palava

Ghanaians are becoming more scientific, perhaps too scien­tific for their own good. Some say they are scientific Christians and want to subject the doctrine of Jesus Christ to scientific analysis and proof. Such Christians need to be delivered in good time, lest they get struck on the way to Damascus.

Did I hear someone say the other day that he was following scientific diet? The person had formulated his own complex dietary regimen and called it scientific. I call it disaster. But who can blame him? There is freedom of speech. And the person’s stomach also has the freedom of expression, whether the stomach is manual or automatic.

A man has been battling a court case for some time now. His case is simple. He impregnated his girlfriend and together they were expecting the baby. A bouncy baby was delivered after five months and he celebrated with booze and break-dancing.

As he was preparing for an outdoor­ing, someone came to whisper into his left ear that his baby had already been outdoored and named by anoth­er man. He nearly developed stroke.

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When he made discreet enquiries, he realised it was true. A thick-tall barrel-chested man had already out­doored his baby in pomp and pageant­ry, brass band and spin-music backed by a live band performance. A come­dian was at the ceremony providing all the laughter needed to make for a grand occasion.

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He furiously confronted the girlfriend and she told him curtly: “The baby is not yours!” He nearly collapsed. Since when did the baby not become his? He endured a brief argument and then decided to send the matter to court.

Meanwhile he had information that his baby’s new father was someone who had been infertile or precise­ly was infertile. It meant that he couldn’t impregnate a woman no mat­ter the number of rounds he went per night. However, he was very success­ful and rich.

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He was alleged to have been looking desperately for offspring. So when he had an affair with a lady and she came with the news that she was pregnant, he did not even enquire whether it was by him or not. He quickly accepted responsibility.

However, another school of thought has it that the man plotted with the lady to get pregnant by another man and let him (the infertile man) take responsibility. Unfortunately, the alleged true father of the baby won’t let go, so the matter went to court.

When a paternity case winds up in court, then scientificity comes to play, because the judge cannot use his legal knowledge, no matter how vast, to ascertain the true father of the baby.

In hospital, the simple method of using the ABO blood group test has been often employed. If the father has Blood Group A and the mother has Blood Group B, it is automatic that the offspring must have Blood Group AB and not O. However, the child could have AB and still not belong to the man because the other man might also have Group A.

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So the most reliable method is what has made Ghanaians more scien­tific in their outlook lately. Everybody is talking about DNA. Even my grand­mother in the village knows about it, and she can tell you exactly what it is.

DNA in full is ‘Deoxyibonucleiacid’. It represents the genetic code of the human person. In other words your DNA determines how you look like. And there is a link between your DNA and that of all your offspring are iden­tical in a way. It is 99 per cent accu­rate in determining paternity.

JOY FM recently did an interesting programme on paternity. A man who won a US Visa lottery and wanted all his four kids to accompany him on the trip was required by the embassy to do a DNA on the kids. Lo and behold, two of them were certified as NOT his children. CHECK out the embarrass­ment!

ATOMIC

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If this is true, then it means that other grand exposures are in the pipe­line. Happy families are going to be shattered with the force of an atomic bomb. What is man going to do with a child he has loved and cared for, educated and has become emotionally attached to only to hear that he was spending all his fortune on another person’s child.

The human female is not supposed to have the attitude of a nanny goat who doesn’t know or care to know the father of her children. After all, no outdooring or naming ceremony will take place. And there will be no US VISA requirement, if a nanny goat “jams an international luck.” By acci­dent or by fate.

Well, I guess and more people will be getting curious about their off­spring, especially when your kid looks exactly like a man living a hundred metres away.

I am aware of a man who has three children and two are not his. The man is however content. I’m sure the wife would be in for some hefty cut­lass wounds. So in circumstances like this, it is better to let sleeping dogs lie. Revelations can bring tragedy. They can bring death.

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Now the question every family man should be asking himself is: How many of my children are mine? If you have cause to believe that all your kids are not yours, you can drag your wife for a DNA together with the kids trailing behind you. But remember you might end up with a hefty slap from your wife if the DNAs prove that the kids are all yours, after all.

Whatever it is, women should be coming to terms with the fact that people are indeed becoming more sci­entific. So gone are the days that you get pregnant by another man and give the child to another. Chances are that you might be found out and disgraced.

The human female must stop being a problem unto herself.

This article was first published on September 3, 2005

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Farmers, fund and the mafia

The notion some people have about the Sikaman farmer can be amusing. It is the belief of some that immediately a struggling farmer manages to grab a loan, the first thing he does is to invite his abu­sua (kith and kin) home and abroad.

He organises a mini-festival using palm wine mixed with Guinness as the first course. There and then he announces that he is no longer a poor man; in effect he has ceased to be the close buddy of Mr John Poverty.

The ceremony will be consum­mated with singing and breakdance, a brief church service, drama and poetry recitals.

At least three bearded goats complete with moustache and four cockerels would be sacrificed in vari­ous recipes to celebrate the farmer’s broken alliance with poverty. Some would end up as fufu and light soup, grilled chicken, toasted mutton and smiling goat-head pepper soup. In short, the loan was well taken and well utilised.

The farmer’s prosperity begins right from the stomach. His idea is that if you don’t prosper in the stom­ach, there is no way you can prosper outside it.

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Some farmer are ‘wiser’ though. When they get the loan, they prompt­ly look for new wives. They can no longer continue enjoying one soup everyday like that. Variety is the spice of life! A new wife would bring new zest, new hope and heavenly glary into the farmer’s life. Most impor­tantly the new wife would bring more action into his waist.

So the loan goes indirectly into promoting physical exercise for the human waist instead of the expansion of the farm, purchase of new equip­ment and improved seeds. Farmers of this nature are jokers, not farmers.

Is it probably because of these whimsical reasons that the banks are reluctant to grant loans to farmers? Obviously with the celebration of mini festivals and the installation of new wives, it is unlikely bank loans can ever be repaid. Of course, farmers who are more concerned about their libido can only be experts in re-sched­uling loan payments and not in paying back loans.

Banks are very much concerned about getting their monies back with interest whenever they give out loans. So they demand collateral security as a requirement for the granting of loans. Some farmers actually don’t have anything they can put up as collateral except their hoes, cutlasses and wives. So they struggle through life, not going and not coming.

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I do not blame the banks for not granting loans to those who cannot put up collateral. But what about those who are very serious farmers and can put up collateral. Should they also be denied?

Farming is seasonal and a farmer may need a loan only within a certain period to grow crops or breed birds. When the period elapses before the loans are granted, farmers are tempt­ed to misapply the money because it lies idle. In fact, with idle money lying around, the farmer may be tempted to ‘purchase’ a new wife.

It goes without saying that farmers need money but for specific periods when the banks apparently do not take into consideration. Within three months in a year (main cropping season), a crop farmer must plant, nurture, harvest and sell. He applies for a loan and takes nine months or is not even granted. Meanwhile the money lies under his bed waiting to be enjoyed. Not all farmers are angels.

Now, If the government has seen and acknowledged the importance of farmers in national development and has instituted a Farmers’ Day which is a public holiday during which farmers are awarded, then government might as well also do something about fund­ing for our serious farmers, at least the award winning ones to expand and grow since bank loans are not readily available.

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Lama of Site 21, Tema, a man of great learning and of vision, has just been telling me that when a farmer gets an award, it means he knows his way about his job, is serious and diligent. According to him, most likely that such a person would also be investment-conscious and judicious in the use of his resources, and not interested in enstooling a new wife.

If government can set up a fund to assist, not with cash but by way of inputs, most of our farmers who have not had any assistance to propel themselves above sea level would be most thankful.

Interview a few award-winning farmers and they would tell you their palaver. The Overall Tema Municipal Farmer Mr Ellis Aferi and his wife Mrs Rosemary Aferi, began their Soka Farms Complex with ten fowls. The pig (a sow), was sent to a farm on a cart to be serviced and brought back breeding.

His piggery is now a real mod­el of inspiration. “We started right from the scratch without any bank loan or financial assistance from any quarter. We placed our trust in labour, hard work and the advice of extension officers. Today we have a large piggery, poultry breeding house, mushroom and snail quarters, fishpond and beehives aside the rabbits we breed. All these without a penny from anywhere,” Mr Aferi told me just last week.

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However, he bemoaned the current situation farmers are facing “We have exploited our creativity, our imagi­nation and our muscles. There is a limit to productivity using only human labour and ingenuity. We now want to grow bigger but without funding there is little we can achieve in our bid to grow and develop.”

Mr Aferi like, his colleagues, uses about one ton of wheat bran to pre­pare feed for his birds, pigs, snails and fishes every week. When Food Complex was in operation, they had their wheat bran without problem. Today, there are mafia connections in the wheat bran trade.

According to all the livestock farmers I’ve spoken to, it is hard to get wheat bran from GAFCO or Irani Brothers directly. They allege that the companies prefer to sell to some wealthy women and top business-men who can buy wheat bran on condition­al basis (that is together with flour and other products of the companies), than to farmers.

Then these women and business­men through their agents resell the bran to the poor farmers at cut-throat prices. I don’t think the system is be­ing fair to farmers. It is indeed a trag­edy for the farmers who through their sweat and blood the nation is fed.

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“We protest heart and soul,” one farmer yelled at me as if I was re­sponsible for their plight. “How can I feed my birds and pigs satisfactorily if I cannot get wheat bran at the fac­tory price? We disagree that because we are poor, things should be made difficult for us. The rich must not be allowed to exploit us like that.”

The proprietor of Soka Farms, Mr Aferi, for instance has risen from the discomfort of the dust and hardness of the earth to such an enviable height to be an award winner who now holds seminars for farmers, students and officials of organisations on his farm near the Ashiaman-Michel Camp bar­rier. He must be propped up, even if not with money with inputs on credit basis.

The government must think about setting up a special fund for such indi­vidual farmers to grow, while prevent­ing them from cheats and those in the cloak of the mafia.

This article was first published on Saturday, September 21, 1996

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Mystery surrounding figure five

There seems to be something mysterious about the figure five or numbers ending in five. A few days ago I realised it was June 3, so I called my brother-in-law, to talk about his narrow escape from the disaster which occurred at circle in 2015.

It is a date that reminds the family each year of the goodness of the Lord every year since the incident. My brother-in-law had been standing and chatting with some friends at one of the shops that got burnt less than an hour before the incident happened.

Therefore for us as a family, we cel­ebrate that day as a day of deliverance of one of us even as we sympathise with those who lost loved ones in that fire disaster. Later on after I finished talking to my brother-in-law and was reflecting on the incident and issues around it, another incident early on in that same year, came to mind.

The incident had to do with an air disaster in Europe and I began won­dering if the number five in the figure 2015, had something to do with it.

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Reports came through that a Lufthansa flight from Barcelona in Spain, flying to Germany, had disap­peared from the radar around the Swiss Alps and that a search was being organised to try and locate it.

The result of the search established that the aircraft had crashed. What is even sad about this incident are the issues that led to its occurrence. Investigations conducted after the crash revealed that, it was deliberate­ly caused.

It was revealed that, the pilot steeped out of the cockpit to go to the washroom. The co-pilot locked the door so no one could enter the cockpit without him opening it.

He then proceeded to set the air­craft on autopilot to crash the plane. When the Pilot realised that there was something wrong with the plane he rushed towards the cockpit, only to realise that it was locked.

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He banged on the door to no avail. They tried contacting the co-pilot but he would not answer. Nothing in this world will be more painful than to see death coming and being helpless to prevent it. They could do nothing until the plane crashed.

A former girlfriend of the co-pilot revealed later to the investigators that he once told her that one day, he would do something that the world will forever remember his name. It came out later also, that he was told by his Doctor not to fly a plane again until his medical condition improves.

Apparently he had a mental prob­lem but he kept it to himself and his employer never knew anything about his condition and he sadly killed high school students, about 60 from the same school, returning home from an educational tour in Spain.

This is one thing I have been praying against and I can imagine the grief of the parents of these students who tragically lost their lives.

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In 2005, there was Hurricane Katrina which brought in its wake such a huge devastation in the United States. In that same year, an earthquake oc­curred in Kashmir resulting in over 86,000 people losing their lives, again note the last digit of the figure 2005.

I am therefore inclined to believe that we need to intensify prayer this year, 2025 to avert disaster. History has a way of repeating itself. Until I grew up, especially at the second­ary school level, I wondered why we should study history and that apart from it being a reminder of dates on which certain events occurred, there was really no use for it.

I now know better that it is the basis for forecasting future events. Our teachers did not help us by not telling us the importance of history, maybe I would have become the National

By Laud Kissi-Mensah

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