Features
DNA and marital deceptions
Ghanaians are becoming more scientific, perhaps too scientific for their own good. Some say they are scientific Christians and want to subject the doctrine of Jesus Christ to scientific analysis and proof. Such Christians need to be delivered in good time, lest they get struck on the way to Damascus.
Did I hear someone say the other day that he was following scientific diet? The person had formulated his own complex dietary regimen and called it scientific. I call it disaster. But who can blame him? There is freedom of speech. And the person’s stomach also has the freedom of expression, whether the stomach is manual or automatic.
A man has been battling a court case for some time now. His case is simple. He impregnated his girlfriend and together they were expecting the baby. A bouncy baby was delivered after five months and he celebrated with booze and break-dancing.
As he was preparing for an outdooring, someone came to whisper into his left ear that his baby had already been outdoored and named by another man. He nearly developed stroke.
When he made discreet enquiries, he realised it was true. A thick-tall barrel-chested man had already outdoored his baby in pomp and pageantry, brass band and spin-music backed by a live band performance. A comedian was at the ceremony providing all the laughter needed to make for a grand occasion.
ARGUMENT
He furiously confronted the girlfriend and she told him curtly: “The baby is not yours!” He nearly collapsed. Since when did the baby not become his? He endured a brief argument and then decided to send the matter to court.
Meanwhile he had information that his baby’s new father was someone who had been infertile or precisely was infertile. It meant that he couldn’t impregnate a woman no matter the number of rounds he went per night. However, he was very successful and rich.
He was alleged to have been looking desperately for offspring. So when he had an affair with a lady and she came with the news that she was pregnant, he did not even enquire whether it was by him or not. He quickly accepted responsibility.
However, another school of thought has it that the man plotted with the lady to get pregnant by another man and let him (the infertile man) take responsibility. Unfortunately, the alleged true father of the baby won’t let go, so the matter went to court.
When a paternity case winds up in court, then scientificity comes to play, because the judge cannot use his legal knowledge, no matter how vast, to ascertain the true father of the baby.
In hospital, the simple method of using the ABO blood group test has been often employed. If the father has Blood Group A and the mother has Blood Group B, it is automatic that the offspring must have Blood Group AB and not O. However, the child could have AB and still not belong to the man because the other man might also have Group A.
So the most reliable method is what has made Ghanaians more scientific in their outlook lately. Everybody is talking about DNA. Even my grandmother in the village knows about it, and she can tell you exactly what it is.
DNA in full is ‘Deoxyibonucleiacid’. It represents the genetic code of the human person. In other words your DNA determines how you look like. And there is a link between your DNA and that of all your offspring are identical in a way. It is 99 per cent accurate in determining paternity.
JOY FM recently did an interesting programme on paternity. A man who won a US Visa lottery and wanted all his four kids to accompany him on the trip was required by the embassy to do a DNA on the kids. Lo and behold, two of them were certified as NOT his children. CHECK out the embarrassment!
ATOMIC
If this is true, then it means that other grand exposures are in the pipeline. Happy families are going to be shattered with the force of an atomic bomb. What is man going to do with a child he has loved and cared for, educated and has become emotionally attached to only to hear that he was spending all his fortune on another person’s child.
The human female is not supposed to have the attitude of a nanny goat who doesn’t know or care to know the father of her children. After all, no outdooring or naming ceremony will take place. And there will be no US VISA requirement, if a nanny goat “jams an international luck.” By accident or by fate.
Well, I guess and more people will be getting curious about their offspring, especially when your kid looks exactly like a man living a hundred metres away.
I am aware of a man who has three children and two are not his. The man is however content. I’m sure the wife would be in for some hefty cutlass wounds. So in circumstances like this, it is better to let sleeping dogs lie. Revelations can bring tragedy. They can bring death.
Now the question every family man should be asking himself is: How many of my children are mine? If you have cause to believe that all your kids are not yours, you can drag your wife for a DNA together with the kids trailing behind you. But remember you might end up with a hefty slap from your wife if the DNAs prove that the kids are all yours, after all.
Whatever it is, women should be coming to terms with the fact that people are indeed becoming more scientific. So gone are the days that you get pregnant by another man and give the child to another. Chances are that you might be found out and disgraced.
The human female must stop being a problem unto herself.
This article was first published on September 3, 2005
THE typical itinerant salesman in Sikaman is a herbalist. He is normally a slim macho with the capacity to perambulate the expanse of area covering the triangle of Accra-Tema-Ashiaman. In short, he can walk a total of 60 miles a day, marketing a product that cures every disease, including poverty. 
The door-to-door herbal pharmacist advertises his product by word of mouth. He has nothing to do with the Food and Drugs Board (FDB). After all, his concoctions do not feature on FM stations.
Those herbalists who cannot walk to propagate the herbal gospel, liaise with drivers of mass transportation and their mates. They are, therefore, given the chance to sell their products on Benz buses that ply the routes.
Normally, the herbalist starts his sales message with a prayer and Bible study. He asks the passengers to bow down their heads in supplication to God the father, the son, the Holy Spirit.
When a herbalist asks the passengers to close their eyes and bow their heads, Moslems on board naturally feel offended. They feel that the herbalist has no right to assume that every passenger is a Christian. They think such an assumption is an affront to Islam.
So a Moslem on board will raise the hand for a point of order. He’ll remind the herbalist that it would be in his own interest to mind his language.
“Be careful the way you address people in a public place. Not every person here is a Christian,” he’d state assertively.
Of course, the herbalist will promptly ignore him, but would all the same “watch” his tongue. Who knows whether or not the Moslem brother is inspired by Quoranic zeal to defend the tenets of Islam to the hilt?
When he starts saying, “Wallahi!” and “Inshallah!” it could be the beginning of proclaiming Islam as supreme, a point which must be driven home with talibanic precision.
So the herbalist must tread carefully lest he steps on fire.
The herbalist could even add a measure of mirth to it all, by announcing that Christians on board today have very interesting company on the journey, but that should not detract from the business of the day.
The Moslem brother will weigh the words carefully and offer a wry smile.
He must be careful the occasion does not degenerate into the use of semantics and proverbial oration to deride his conviction that public utterances must be mindful of religious sensibilities. He has made his point very clear and expects that it is taken in good faith in the interest of a peaceful journey.
The herbalist will now open the New Testament and preach salvation, stating clearly that salvation can come only through Jesus Christ and NOBODY else.
The Moslem brother will now start twitching his moustache. The visible and almost revolutionary reflexes of his upper lip can be an indication that sentiments have begun superseding reason, and the outcome could well be tragic now shift uneasily in his seat.
The time has come for him to also express his right to the religion of his fore-bears. He’ll put his hand into his pocket and rise to his feet. The time has indeed come!
This article was first published on Saturday, September 9, 2006
When the cause of a particular problem like sickness, disease, sudden illness, a social issue etc. are not known, it stands to reason that resolving it becomes a huge challenge.
Citizens would understand the government when public announcements are made to the effect that government is trying to find a solution to the issue, even though it is taking a while for it to be resolved because citizens are rational beings.
On the other hand, if the solution to a particular issue is known to everybody but the government for whatever reason, is dragging its feet in resolving it, citizens become frustrated and begin to lose trust in their leaders.
One such issue is the heavy traffic along a section of the Kasoa – Odokor road. A short stretch of bad road between the traffic light at the Weija Government Hospital and the entrance to the entrance of the overhead that leads to the N1, is the cause of the problem but nothing is being done about it, day after day, week after week, month after month. Thus is clearly unacceptable.
Another issue that requires urgent attention is the lack of pavements along a lot of streets in parts of the various Municipal Assemblies. Exercise is a prerequisite for long life and healthy living and for those of us who it has become a way of life, this issue of people putting up structures right to the edge of the drains beside the roads, are making life difficult for us.
We are compelled to walk along the roads, putting our lives at serious risk. Pedestrians should never be compelled to compete with vehicles on our streets and roads. Roads and streets are made for vehicles and pavements are made for pedestrians. That is the norm. Any attempt to normalise a situation where pedestrians are mingling with vehicles is insanity.
It is the road regulations that makes it so and therefore district or municipal assemblies are to take responsibility and ensure that spaces for pavements are not encroached upon. Citizens have rights that must be protected by their leaders and making pavements available to pedestrians, is one of them.
When we hear of teachers having sex with students, it appears it is something recent. It is not a new phenomenon. It has been there since Adam. Perhaps this issue is getting much attention due to the proliferation of social media. It was an open secret in times past when Teachers were in relationships with female students and some married them immediately after completion of school.
Some teachers were also known to be having unholy interactions with female pupils but due to the times that these acts occurred, human rights issues and the awareness around it, allowed such unscrupulous teachers to get away with their crimes.
Now we are in a different era and so a Headmaster is now in hot waters. He is alleged to have raped about 19 female students and as usual, some officials tried to cover it up and are also in hot waters and their actions or inactions in the matter are under investigation.
Why the man has been allowed to roam freely without being arrested is simply mind boggling. It appears that the law applies differently, depending on who you are. This issue came to public attention sometime in August this year, yet the police had not arrested or invited this man for question regarding the rape allegation.
It has come out that he is a Constituency Secretary of the ruling party and the question in the public domain is that, is it because he is a political figure that is why he is still walking around without questioning? I believe in the rule of law so let us hold our breadth and let the proper thing be done.
The police must however be seen to be active in this matter. God bless.
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