Fruitful Living
Cultivating and maintaining Godly relationships (Part 1)
“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”– John 13:34-35 (NIV)
FROM the very beginning, God designed us not to walk through life alone, but to be connected—first to Him, and then to one another. Relationships are the framework of our existence, and the quality of these relationships directly impacts our spiritual, emotional, and even physical wellbeing. But in a world that often distorts the meaning of true connection, we face a challenge: How do we build and maintain relationships that reflect God’s heart?
Today, we will explore the concept of Godly relationships—what they are, why they matter, and how we can cultivate and sustain them in every area of our lives. Whether in friendships, family ties, professional circles, or mentorships, our relationships are meant to be living testimonies of God’s love and grace. As followers of Christ, we are called to live in a way that sets us apart, and one of the clearest ways we can do that is through how we relate to others. Jesus Himself said that it is by our love for one another that the world will know we are His disciples (John 13:35).
WHAT GODLY RELATIONSHIPS MEAN
Godly relationships go beyond surface connections; they are rooted in;
•love,
•service,
•forgiveness,
•and the desire to see others grow in their relationship with God.
Relationships, in all their forms, are central to the human experience. Whether within the family, friendships, work relationships, or romantic partnerships, how we connect with others reveals much about who we are and what we value.
For believers in Christ, relationships are not merely social contracts or exchanges of convenience; they are divine assignments—opportunities to manifest God’s love and character to a world in desperate need of true connection.
Godly relationships are built on;
•Love,
•Trust,
•Integrity,
•and Purpose.
They reflect God’s nature and bring healing, encouragement, and accountability. More importantly, they demonstrate to the world the essence of God’s kingdom, where love, humility, and service to others are paramount. Cultivating and maintaining such relationships is a lifelong endeavour that requires wisdom, patience, and reliance on God’s grace.
The Foundation of Godly Relationships
I want us to dive into several key points that will help us understand what godly relationships look like and how we can nurture them.
1. Godly Relationships Are Founded on Christlike Love
The first and most important point is that Godly relationships are rooted in Christlike love. This is the foundation upon which all other aspects of a relationship are built. When we talk about Christlike love, we refer to the sacrificial, selfless love that Jesus demonstrated. It’s a love that goes beyond emotions and convenience—it is a commitment to care for others even when it’s difficult.
Jesus said in John 13:34- 35, “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.” Christlike love is our testimony to the world. People don’t just see our faith by what we say, but by how we love.
This love is patient, kind, forgiving, and always seeks the good of the other person, as outlined in 1 Corinthians 13.
- By Rev. Dr Joyce Aryee, the author
Health experts generally agree that mental health is not simply the absence of illness but the presence of qualities that allow individuals to live fulfilling and purposeful lives. Among the most recognised components are:
Wellbeing – This refers to emotional stability, peace of mind, and the ability to maintain balance during life’s ups and downs. In Islam, gratitude (shukr) is emphasised as a foundation of wellbeing: “If you are grateful, I will surely increase you [in favour].” (Qur’an 14:7). A thankful heart fosters optimism and resilience, reducing stress and anxiety.
Personal abilities – Mental health involves recognising one’s strengths and limitations and making productive use of them. The Prophet Muhammad s.a.w. highlighted the value of strength, whether physical, emotional, or spiritual: “The strong believer is better and more beloved to Allah than the weak believer, while there is good in both.” (Sahih Muslim, Hadith 2664).
Coping strategies – Resilience is essential for managing stress and adversity. The Qur’an provides reassurance: “Indeed, with hardship comes ease.” (Qur’an 94:6). Effective coping prevents temporary setbacks from becoming long-term crises.
Productivity – A sound mind enables individuals to contribute positively to their work, studies, or trade. Islam values effort: “And that there is not for man except that [good] for which he strives.” (Qur’an 53:39).
Contribution to society – Good mental health extends beyond the individual, fostering social harmony. The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم taught: “The best of people are those that bring most benefit to the rest of mankind.” (Daraqutni, Hasan Hadith).
Together, these components demonstrate that mental health is both a spiritual and practical pursuit, aligning Islamic principles with modern psychology.
The Islamic perspective on mental health
Islam does not deny the reality of psychological suffering. The Qur’an and Sunnah acknowledge sadness, anxiety, and grief as natural human experiences. For example, Prophet Yaqub (Jacob, peace be upon him) cried until he lost his eyesight due to grief over Yusuf (Joseph) (Qur’an 12:84). This demonstrates that emotional distress is not a sign of weakness in faith but part of the human journey.
The Prophet Muhammad صلى الله عليه وسلم also recognised worry and sadness. One of his daily supplications was: “O Allah, I seek refuge in you from worry and grief, from incapacity and laziness, from cowardice and miserliness, from being heavily in debt and from being overpowered by men.” (Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 6369).
Classical scholars also wrote extensively about emotional balance. Imam Al-Ghazali, in Ihya Ulum al-Din, discussed the purification of the heart from diseases such as envy, arrogance, and despair, which today parallel cognitive and emotional disorders. Ibn Qayyim al-Jawziyya emphasised patience (sabr) and hope (raja’) as remedies for distress, noting that despair is among the gravest of spiritual illnesses.
Crucially, Islam encourages seeking medical treatment. The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said: “Make use of medical treatment, for Allah has not made a disease without appointing a remedy for it.” (Sunan Abu Dawud, Hadith 3855). Thus, combining prayer, counseling, and medical care is part of a balanced Islamic approach.
- Imam Alhaji Saeed
Abdulai, the Author
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Finally, how can we become holy? Holiness only results from a right relationship with God by believing in Jesus Christ as Saviour (accepting His gift of eternal life). If we have not placed our faith in God’s Son alone to save us from our sins, then our pursuit of holiness is in vain. So, we must first make sure we are born again believers – John 3.
If we truly are believers, then we recognise that our position in Christ automatically sets us apart from the world – 1 Peter 2:9. After all, we have a relationship with the living God! Then we must daily live a set-apart life, not trying to “blend in” with the world, but instead living according to God’s Word as we study the Bible and grow in it.
In Mark 7:9-16, the Lord Jesus tells us that the way we think is what defiles us and robs us of truth and holiness. The Pharisees had replaced God’s rules of faith and holiness with their own rules and regulations which they tried to force people to follow.
They saw themselves as experts of God’s word but promptly added so much to it that it was no hope of God. It is idolatry to claim that our interpretation of God’s word is as important as God’s word itself, and it is especially dangerous to set up unbiblical standards for others to follow.
We should always look to Christ Jesus for guidance about our behaviour, for He alone is the visible image of the invisible God as we read in Col. 1:15-19:
“The Son is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn over all creation. For in Him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things have been created through Him and for Him. He is before all things, and in Him all things hold together. And He is the head of the body, the church; He is the beginning and the firstborn from among the dead, so that in everything He might have the supremacy. For God was pleased to have all His fullness dwell in Him.”
Walking in the truth and holiness
Paul’s epistle to the Ephesians speaks a lot about walking in truth and holiness. I would like to focus on what he says as a means of grasping the sheer privilege of being God’s channel for truth and holiness. This is found in Eph. 4:17-32 and I shall take it by the verses.
Introduction
- In Eph. 4:1, we saw where Paul began to describe our “duty” to “walk worthy of the calling with which you were called.”
- In doing so, he first called us to “walk together in unity” by admonishing us to:
a. Display the “attitude” crucial for maintaining unity – Eph. 4:2-3;
b. Understand the “basis” of the unity we have in Christ – Eph. 4:4-6;
c. Utilise the “gifts” given by Christ to His church that serve to keep the body of Christ together and growing – Eph. 4:7-16. - In the last half of chapter four – Eph. 4:17-32, Paul continues to describe the sort of “walk” that is worthy of our calling, especially as “a holy temple in the Lord.”
a. Whereas the first half emphasised “Walking Together in Unity;”
b. This section emphasises “Walking in Truth and Holiness.”
- Rev. Dr Joyce Aryee,
the author
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