Obaa Yaa
Can l trust him?
Dear Obaa Yaa,
We have gone through challenges in our friendship which has spanned five years.
Having received complete endorsement from relatives, friends and people who have our matter at heart, everything was pointing to a pleasurable marriage life.
At the beginning of the year, my fiancé came to inform me that he would like to officially inform my parents about his intention to ask for my hand in marriage.
My parents were glad to receive this information and feverish preparations were made for the performance of the forthcoming customary rites.
This information has gladdened my heart and it has intensified our love for each other. We spent more time on the phone and devoted more time to share interesting moments.
Surprisingly, my fiancé has stopped calling me and has failed to visit me at work and at home.
My fear about his character intensified when l realised that my calls to his line could not go through but when l tried a different number, he picked.
When l enquired from him why my calls could not go through, he explained that he had a challenge with his cell phone, but l realised that there was a problem with our relationship.
In summary, my fiancé has married about three months ago without an explanation.
Should l take action against him?
Dorothy, Tema.
Dear Dorothy,
Naturally you ought to be disturbed because of the heightened expectations your fiancé had generated in your family. Your parents, relatives and well-wishers must have been disappointed in the turn of events.
l can envisage the copious tears you might have shed because of the unfortunate incident.
The relatively short period your fiancé has taken to marry, implies that he must have been monitoring you and this lady who is now his wife.
It is essential for you to know the reason for which he has settled on another person instead of you.
This information would help you to amend whatever you might have done wrong which must have informed your fiancé’s decision to marry a different person instead of you.
Obaa Yaa
Alhaji is older than my father
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I have been traditionally married to an Alhaji at the instance of my parents at the age of 16 years.
Gladly, he has not had any sexual intercourse with me all this while.
Meanwhile, he funded my education from second cycle to the University where I have a year to graduate.
The idea was that I will finally move in to stay with him as husband and wife after getting my degree.
I will not be able to stand the shame and humiliation from friends if I marry him.
He is rich and caring, I must admit.
Should I agree to marry Alhaji who is few years older than my father?
Adiza,
Nima.
Dear Adiza,
YOU have been married to Alhaji traditionally, so technically you are his wife.
If you feel you don’t want this man, kindly discuss with your parents who gave your hand in marriage.
I must, however, warn that you might not have your way that easily after enjoying all the benefits Alhaji has offered to see you through your education.
The people to blame are your parents. They have put you in this trouble.
Discuss it with them as to how best they can get you out of it. It might mean reimbursing the Alhaji for all he has spent on you.
That may be a huge sum of money you cannot pay and I doubt if Alhaji will take it lightly with you.
Obaa Yaa
They harrass me everyday
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a 12-year-old girl. My mother and I just moved to a new area in Accra. For some time now, I have a big problem on my neck.
A group of young men, three of them who I believe are in their early 20s always sit in front of their house and harass me whenever I am on my way back from school.
This is because one of them sent me on an errand and I refused to go.
Since then they have harassed me and also called me names.
One of them has threatened to beat me up if I use that route.
I always plead with my classmates to accompany me home every day because I’m scared of them.
I don’t feel safe when I walk alone.
Esi, Oyarifa.
Dear Esi,
I UNDERSTAND how you feel, especially when it comes to the fact that boys want to team up to bully you.
You always feel insecure because they can harm you.
Kindly tell your mother to lodge a formal complaint to their parent or head of household.
Let your mother make it explicit to the boys and their family that if the harassment and threats do not cease, then the police would be brought in.
