Obaa Yaa
She doesn’t want to lose weight
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am 27-year- old and I have been with my fiancée for some time now and we are planning to get married soon. My concern, however, is that I don’t find her current body shape too attractive. She has gained too much weight and I’ve tried every remedy I know to bring her back to shape but to no avail.
She uses the weight loss equipment I bought for her for only two days and stops. Once she stops she loses all the progress she has made.
Sometimes I try hard to defend her in public when people say she is “fat”. But she doesn’t seem to “love herself” too well to accept the change I am pushing for her. What else can I do? I love her so much and don’t want to lose her.
Nana Kwame,
Ashaiman – Lebanon
Dear Nana Kwame,
There are lots of factors that contribute to weight gain. If your girlfriend is now losing her original shape, both of you should find out why she may gain extra weight. However, it is good you’re making an effort to help her.
But if she is not getting the result you desire, both of you can start going to the gym together instead of allowing her to train alone. Going to the gym with her may give her some extra motivation so she does not give up easily.
Besides, love conquers all. And since you love her so much, her weight gain should not bother you so much. Don’t start looking elsewhere because of her physical appearance. Continue to help her to appreciate her new body shape.
Six months after marriage, I realised my wife had cheated twice. One happened months before marriage and the other happened just two months after marriage. We dated for four years before we got married.
She had saved the name on her phone as Chairman. The conversation between them didn’t happen every day but once they talked, everything was about sex. My wife encouraged every word and even made suggestions as to where to meet.
I want to meet ‘Chairman,’ is it a good or a bad idea?
Yoofi, Takoradi.
Dear Yoofi,
What you have discovered is deeply painful, especially after investing four years of dating and entering marriage with trust, love and commitment. Betrayal in marriage is not only about the physical act, but also the emotional damage, secrecy and broken trust that come with it.
At this point, it is important not to make decisions purely out of anger or revenge. You need clarity, honest and calm conversations. Your wife must first be willing to tell the whole truth and take responsibility for her actions without excuses.
However, before deciding whether to stay or leave, ask yourself some important questions. Is she willing to cut ties completely with this man? Is she ready to rebuild trust through openness and accountability? And most importantly, do you still see a future with her despite the hurt?
Healing from infidelity takes time, patience and sometimes professional counselling. Do not suffer in silence. Speak to a trusted counsellor, pastor or matured family person who can guide both of you wisely.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am 28 years old guy who has been posted as a trained teacher in one of the rural areas in the Central Region.
I didn’t move in with my family because of the nature of my wife’s job.
About two months ago, I befriended one of the students who run errands for me. One thing led to the other and mistakenly had my way with her.
After two weeks, the girl came to tell me that she was pregnant and that I should give her money to terminate the pregnancy because if her parents get to know of it, they would cause my arrest.
This got me disturbed because I might lose [u1] my job.
Upon a second thought, I discussed this with a friend and she told me it might be a plan to extort money from me.
I personally texted her not to terminate the pregnancy but interestingly, I received a response that she has seen her monthly flow.
In fact, I became convinced about what my colleague told me. I want to end the relationship, what should I tell her and what should be my response when my wife hears of it.
Obaa Yaa, please I need an urgent advice.
David, Tema.
Dear David,
Your case is a very simple one. You are even lucky your friend who is much acquainted with the chicanery of the local girls fortunately hinted you and the girl has confirmed it all.
You better quit that relationship and avoid her because she thinks about following you home.
If you haven’t told her you are married, please tell her now.
