Obaa Yaa
Can l love children as parents do?
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Dear ObaaYaa,
I am a graduate from one of the tertiary institutions in the country. I have completed my National Service and secured employment in one of the prestigious companies in the country.
My major concern is that l marvel at how parents love their children and do all within their power to ensure that they have all the best of things they need.
Can l also love just as parents do and shower lots of gifts on their children. l am beginning to feel that l may not be able to live up to expectation as a father.
Joseph, Accra.
Dear Joseph,
When you observe people from a distance, it paints a different picture as regards how they act in a particular way and what really informs the decision they make.
There is a biological link among parents, children and relatives. Surprisingly, this unique bond keeps them together so long as they live.
The filial love between parents and children grows naturally. Imagine a mother who carries the child in the womb for nine months before she is delivered of her child.
The first task of a young girl who gives birth is to breastfeed the child. Having done this for a few days prepares the grounds for the commencement of love between parents and children.
Greetings
Ms Bridget AfiAzah. On the occasion of your birthday, we wish to seek for divine favours for you in all your endeavours. May God grant you long life and prosperity and cause you to grow from strength to strength. Belated happy birthday.
From: Your lovely husband, children and the entire family.
Mr Julius Kennedy Kyekye. God has been good to you in many ways and for this, we join all your loved ones to thank Him for the favours granted you. We pray that God will continue the good works he has commenced in you. Wishing you the best of luck. Belated happy birthday, dear.
From: Your lovely wife and children, relatives, friends and loved ones.
Mr Cletus Awumey. Your creator knows what is good for you and the appropriate time to respond to your demands. May He continue to bless, protect and guide you. Remember that His love will never depart from you because he loves you. Happy birthday.
From: Your family, friends and loved ones.
A CEO visited his office and saw a man who was scrolling through his phone while sitting on a sofa.
The CEO asked, “What are you doing?”
The man replied, “Wasting my time until I’ll get paid.”
The CEO was furious, “What is your weekly salary!?”
Man, “$1000”
The CEO counted $2000 and gave it to the man, “Take this money and get out! You don’t work here anymore!”
The man silently took the money and left.
CEO walked up to the reception, “By the way, who was this guy?”
The receptionist said, “Pizza delivery”.
I didn’t understand why my father abandoned me as a child until he appeared recently and told me my mom placed a curse on him.
I was about thirteen or fifteen, my mom took me to the front of a big house and told me that is where I belong.
I knocked the door and the man sacked me from the house to go back to my mother.
Life with my mother was very tough until God came through for me to gain a scholarship.
Years later, I’d returned from abroad when this man walked up to me apologising.
I take care of him and provide him with everything. He needs my attention but I doubt if he will get that from me because he didn’t take care of me.
Jojo, USA.
Dear Jojo,
This is such a heart breaking story. No child deserves to grow up wondering why a parent was absent or feeling abandoned.
If your father’s explanation is true, the responsibility for leaving you still rests with him. A curse, fear, or conflict with your mother may explain his decisions, but it does not excuse abandoning his child.
Parents have a duty to love, protect, and remain present in their children’s lives, regardless of the problems between them.
Now that he has returned, it is reasonable to listen to what he has to say, but you do not have to accept everything without question. Ask him honest questions about why he stayed away for so many years, why he never tried to reach you, and what he hopes to achieve by reconnecting now. His willingness to take responsibility for his choices is more important than the explanation he gives.
At the same time, try not to carry the burden of your parents’ conflict. Whatever happened between them was their issue, not yours. You were an innocent child who deserved the love and presence of both parents.
If you choose to rebuild a relationship with your father, let it happen gradually. Trust is earned through consistent actions, not just words. If you decide not to have a close relationship with him, that is also your right. Forgiveness, if you choose it, should be for your own peace of mind, not because you are obligated to overlook the pain you experienced.
Most importantly, remember that your worth was never determined by your father’s absence. His choices reflect his decisions, not your value as a person.
The past cannot be changed, but how you respond now can help you find healing and peace.
