Relationship
Beyond the polished glass: everyday scenes at Accra mall trotro station – Part 1
Just outside the polished glass doors of Accra Mall, a different reality unfolds. Amid the traffic, street vendors, commuters and child beggars, the city’s energy flows in sharp contrast to the calm and luxury within.
It is 4pm on a humid Wednesday afternoon outside Accra Mall. In the traffic surrounding the mall, Toyota Corollas, Nissan Navara’s, Kia Morning, Trotros, Mercedes-Benz cars crawl bumper to bumper. They inch their way around the roundabout connecting Spintex Road to the Tema Motorway. Drivers tap their horns repeatedly as the wait grows longer. Passersby slip between the vehicles, weaving their way to the trotro station, roadside stalls or side streets leading to their destinations.
Just beyond the traffic and noise, Accra Mall rises at the heart of the city, bright and busy with shops, eateries and cinemas gathered under one roof. Inside, the contrast is immediate. The air-conditioning hums steadily, keeping the space crisp and cool while shoppers move between stores with bags in hand containing new clothes, gadgets, perfumes and other small luxuries paid for in clean cedis. At the food court, children giggle over ice cream while friends lean over pizza boxes. The smell of fresh popcorn hangs in the air near the cinema entrance.
Since opening in 2008, Accra Mall has stood as one of the city’s most visited commercial hubs. But the calm inside ends at the door. The atmosphere shifts from cool air and clean cedis to constant movement, long waits, and daily survival. Just beyond the mall, the air is thick with heat, blaring horns, and exhaust fumes. It carries the struggle of people whose day does not end with a shopping receipt.
According to MIT’s Atlas of Popular Transport, Trotros carry over 3.5 million passenger trips each weekday and remain the dominant form of public transport, serving more than 70 per cent of Greater Accra’s commuters. Even without precise daily figures, their presence is unmistakable in the routines of Accra’s residents navigating work, school, and trade across the capital.
This scene plays out daily along the busy stretch near Accra Mall, where traffic slows to a crawl and “trotro” queues stretch along the roadside. At the roundabout, beneath a weathered police canopy, a plus-size policewoman in a bright green traffic vest has surrendered to sleep. She lies stretched on a long bench, mouth wide open, chin tilted skyward, as if the whine of horns and coughing engines were lullabies. A few steps away, a male officer in a matching vest, tasked with directing the traffic, stands by the roadside with his hands buried in his pockets, eyes fixed on the parade of cars inching forward and honking in frustration.
Across the street, Accra Mall’s Street commerce bursts into activity. Makeshift stalls are lined up tightly along the roadside. Racks of ready-made African clothing sway in the dusty breeze. Sandals are arranged neatly on plastic sheets. Beaded necklaces in red, blue and gold catch both sunlight and the attention of people passing by.
Marriage is meant to be a safe place where two people build, grow, and support each other. But what happens when one partner’s need for admiration, control, and self-importance slowly erodes the emotional safety of the home?
As a marriage counsellor and mental health professional, I meet women who say, “I feel like I’m walking on eggshells at home,” or “No matter what I do, it’s never enough.” Often, what they are describing are patterns linked to living with a narcissistic husband.
Narcissism exists on a spectrum. Not every selfish or proud man is a clinical narcissist. But when these traits become consistent patterns that harm your mental health, self-worth, and sense of reality, it is time to pay attention.
Here are seven realistic signs you may be married to a narcissistic husband:
1. Everything is about him
Conversations, decisions, and even your achievements somehow circle back to him. If you share good news, he quickly shifts the focus to his own success or minimizes yours.
Over time, you feel invisible in your own marriage. A healthy marriage makes space for both partners’ voices. A narcissistic dynamic makes space for only one.
2. You feel constantly blamed and criticised
No matter how hard you try, you are made to feel inadequate. He may use subtle sarcasm, public criticism, or outright blame to keep you off balance. This is not constructive feedback—it is a tactic to control and diminish you. You begin to question your memory, judgment, and worth. In psychology, this is called “gaslighting,” and it is a common tool in narcissistic relationships.
3. Empathy is missing when you need it most
When you are sick, stressed, or grieving, a narcissistic husband often appears emotionally distant or irritated. He struggles to validate your feelings unless it benefits him. Real empathy requires stepping outside oneself. Narcissism keeps the focus inward, making emotional support feel transactional or absent.
4. Control disguised as “Love” or “Protection”
He may monitor your phone, dictate how you dress, or isolate you from friends and family under the guise of caring for you. Healthy love promotes freedom and trust. Narcissistic control seeks to keep you dependent and manageable. Over time, this erodes your independence and confidence.
5. Love feels conditional and performance-based
Affection, praise, and attention come when you meet his expectations. When you do not, you face silent treatment, anger, or withdrawal. This creates a cycle where you work harder to “earn” love that should be freely given. Marriage is not a performance stage—it’s a partnership.
6. He avoids accountability
When issues arise, he rarely apologizes sincerely or takes responsibility. Instead, he deflects, blames you, or rewrites the story to make himself the victim. A marriage cannot heal if one partner refuses to own their part. Accountability is the foundation of trust.
7. Your mental health is declining
Perhaps the clearest sign is what is happening inside you. Do you feel anxious, drained, confused, or less confident than when you got married? Living with chronic emotional invalidation and control takes a toll on your nervous system and self-esteem. Your mental health is a reliable indicator that something is wrong.
What can you do?
Recognizing these signs is not about labeling and leaving. It is about seeing clearly so you can make informed choices for your mental and emotional well-being.
1. Seek clarity through professional support: A trained counsellor can help you separate reality from manipulation and rebuild your self-worth.
2. Set healthy boundaries: Boundaries are not punishment. They are protection for your peace and dignity.
3. Build a support system: Isolate yourself less. Share with trusted friends, family, or support groups. You are not crazy, and you are not alone.
4. Prioritise your mental health: Therapy, journaling, prayer, and self-care are not selfish. They are necessary for survival and clarity.
Marriage should add to your life, not subtract from your sense of self. If you recognise these patterns, know this: naming the problem is the first step toward healing, whether that healing happens within the marriage or through creating a safer life for yourself.
Source:
Counselor Prince Offei is a leading Mental Health Professional, Marriage Counsellor, Author, ADR Expert/Arbitrator, and Spectator Newspaper Columnist. He writes on relationships, marriage, parenting, special needs support, and their connection to mental health.
Aries
You are a warrior by nature, try to balance out your own needs to ensure you do not give all of yourself to another. Give yourself some love, too!
Taurus
Do not fret, the secrets being hidden are not bad and are beneficial to your future. In fact, you will be super happy when they are revealed. Then, you can make strategic moves forward.
Gemini
Your friendship circle is evolving, allowing you to meet new people who will become your best buds over time. Embrace the rare chance to connect and engage with others you meet now.
Cancer
Home is where your heart is this week. And the more reason for you to start making yourself feel cozier in your space now. Treat yourself to a few new items to decorate and spruce up your pad to get in the spring spirit. Add fresh.
Leo
Lean into your higher mind and vibe. This will give you the ultimate opportunity to achieve personal fulfillment and spiritual growth over the next few months. Doing so will encourage you to reach new personal heights.
Virgo
Standing up for yourself takes a lot of guts and confidence. Luckily for you, you are able to assert your view against others and defend yourself against those who aim to bring you down.
Libra
Making your mark on the world is challenging, but you are headed in the right direction. As long as you accept that you need to be a leader rather than an innovator in your endeavours, you can take on your goals with success.
Scorpio
You are being introspective and plotting your next moves on and off this week. Take this time and energy to strategise the upcoming sunny days, so you can use them to your advantage and achieve your desires.
Sagittarius
It is time to get creative! This means busting out your drawing board, paintbrushes and colour palette to make art. Whether it is for professional endeavours or for pleasure, you will be inspired to bring your passions to light
Capricorn
Work is becoming very chaotic at the moment and requires all of your time, but you have the chance to balance out your vibe and not focus on professional endeavours. Find your chill spot and lean into self-care.
Aquarius
You are feeling extra chatty and more able to engage with friends. Word of advice: think before you speak to avoid conflict with others.
Pisces
This week gives you the chance to restart, reboot and get motivated to take on new opportunities. The question is: Are you ready now?
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