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How to say sorry to someone you hurt (part two)
Last week we highlighted about six tips on how to apologise to someone when you are at fault. Here is the final part.
Your partner’s feelings are always valid
Sometimes, people are too dismissive of how their partner thinks or feels. Imagine your partner comes to you because they feel hurt or upset about something. If you respond with, “you were hurt, I never knew,” it essentially invalidates their feelings.
It doesn’t matter that you didn’t know you hurt them or didn’t realize someone could feel hurt by your action or inactions. What matters is that your partner feels hurt.
You might not understand why they feel that way, but you should say sorry because they are someone you care deeply about.
Get rid of your expectations
In some cases, a spouse will get furious when their apology is not accepted right away. The spouse shows up and apologizes for something, and their partner needs time to process it.
Rather than accept their partner’s apology, the individual gets upset again. You know how you would act or behave in a certain situation, but that does not mean you have any clue about how your partner will actually behave.
If you did something horrible, your partner may not be able to forgive you right away. They may even get angry again when you show up to apologize. You cannot control how someone responds, so get rid of all of your expectations. Whether your spouse wants some space or needs to wait to forgive you, listen to them.
Show your sincerity
After a fight, you need to show your partner that you won’t make the same mistake again. People can often understand when you make a mistake once, but their understanding evaporates if you make the same mistake over and over and over again. Instead of throwing your relationship away because you can’t learn to change, show your partner through your words and actions that you are honestly working to change.
Don’t do it again
If you have managed to apologize and get everything back on track, do not mess it up. Once you have recovered from a fight, it is time to get your relationship in order again. The best way to show that you are genuinely sorry is to never make the same mistake again.
Muslims across the country celebrated this year’s Eid-ul-Adha in a colourful and spiritually uplifting atmosphere under the theme, “A Season of Sacrifice, Solidarity and Spiritual Renewal.”
The celebration brought together Muslims from diverse backgrounds in a remarkable display of faith, unity and cultural heritage.
The occasion was marked by special Eid prayers at various designated grounds, the slaughtering of rams in homes for sharing among family members, friends and the less privileged, as well as musical concerts and recreational activities including horse riding.
Leading the celebration was the Chief Imam, Dr Sheikh Osman Sharubutu.
While the national celebration was held at the Black Star Square where President John Dramani Mahama was the Special Guest of Honour, similar gatherings took place at different centres across the capital and other regions of the country.
A visit by The Spectator to some celebration grounds revealed Muslims, both young and old, elegantly dressed in colourful jalabiya and other Islamic attire, reflecting the rich culture and traditions of the Muslim community.
The celebration also portrayed the spirit of religious tolerance and peaceful coexistence in the country, as a number of Christians joined their Muslim counterparts to mark the occasion.
Muslim leaders and government officials used the opportunity to call on the faithful to uphold the teachings of the Holy Quran, renew their spiritual commitment and refrain from acts capable of undermining the peace, unity and security of the nation.
They further urged Ghanaians to continue to live in harmony and support one another for national development.
By Linda Abrefi Wadie
Dear Obaa Yaa,
During Eid-ul- Adha celebration, I decided to spend the weekend at my boyfriend’s place since we were planning towards our marriage.
To my surprise, what keeps me wide awake, restless and frustrated every single time is that he snores loudly like a generator running on full power, and I genuinely cannot get any rest
At a point, I thought it was just a normal thing, but I have realised it is something he does with ease and doesn’t see anything wrong with it.
When he steps out in the morning, I try to get enough sleep because I may not sleep in the evening.
The most annoying thing is that, he always wants to cuddle me. These two things are a no for me and a red flag.
We are about to get married, what should I do?
Enam, Keta.
Dear Enam,
The snoring and constant cuddling are frustrating, but you don’t have to choose between sleep and closeness.
Start with the snoring: check if it’s worse when he sleeps on his back, cut out alcohol before bed, try nasal strips or a humidifier, and see a doctor if he pauses while breathing.
For quick relief, foam earplugs or noise-cancelling headphones help a lot.
Separate blankets, a bigger bed, or sleeping apart on some nights often makes couples rest well and feel closer overall.
Bring this up before the wedding .Tell him you want to wake up next to him for years to come, but sleep deprivation makes you both miserable.
Test earplugs and side-sleeping this weekend, and if it’s still unbearable, bring in a doctor. Good sleep matters more for your marriage than staying glued together all night.
