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Waakye Girl- Part 2

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She called him three weeks later. “David, I’m afraid things have not improved, a few days after we spoke, I went to him when he was preparing for bed, and told him that I had problems with his late hours, with his manner of speaking with me, and with the beatings.

He gave me a very nasty reply, he asked me to go and ask my father if he does not beat my mother when she misbehaves, and reminded me that in our town beating is the accepted means of disciplining your wife.

If I did not want him to beat me, then I should behave myself, and he concluded that many girls from my hometown would be happy to be living with a graduate like him.

The next day, he slapped me because I asked about a girl who had come to the house to ask of him. I went and complained to my parents, and they came to the house. He was drunk, and he was very rude to them.

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 He asked my father if he never beat his wife, and advised him to take me away if he did not agree to the discipline he is enforcing in his home. He started raining insults, and my dad warned him that if he spoke one more word of insult, he would rather discipline him, and he kept quiet.”

“Ah, so he fears something, great. Let’s see if the fear of your dad will get him to behave himself. But Stella, allow me to say this, you are a very beautiful girl, and I believe you have a great future ahead of you.

If your man has made it so clear what he would do to you in future, perhaps it would be a good idea to leave the relationship and get a good education. You already have a good WASSCE certificate, there are university courses for working people, even if you continue the relationship, and I suggest that you pursue education as a priority. I will share some information on university courses with you, and encourage you to follow up.”

“Thank God I spoke with you, David, I will take this up very seriously. I have always been interested in the accounting profession. Next time we talk, the story will be much different.” Stella, her two sisters and their parents were halfway through dinner.                     

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“Papa,” she started softly but firmly, “I have to let you know that the relationship with Aperkeh is virtually over. It cannot work, so I am thinking of moving out as soon as possible. He slaps me anytime he thinks I have provoked him, and this provocation is just because I complain about his late hours, and his drinking.

In the last couple of weeks two girls have come to the house to look for him. In the last case I asked the girl what she wanted from him, and she said it was none of my business, and I said in that case I would not allow her to see him. He heard us arguing, and he came out, walked the girl a little further, and gave her money.

But what gets me most is the insults. He often says that he is not married to me, so I should go back to my parents’ house if I could not stay in his house on his terms. He and his friends derisively call me ‘Waakye Girl’, as if I have done something wrong by assisting my parents to run what is certainly a decent business.”

“My daughter’’, Mama started, “we certainly sympathise with the problem you are facing. Aperkeh has no right to hit you or insult you, and I am sure your father will go and speak to him again, and speak to his parents if necessary.

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We approved of the relationship because, as we have said often, we are from the same village, and our two families go back a long way. We and his parents sat down to agree to the relationship, and we have been waiting for them to come and do the formalities to make you his wife. So what he is doing is very unfortunate.

But please note, Stella, that relationships sometimes start with difficulties, which are overcome in the course of time. He must undertake never to lay his hands on you again. I’m sure your dad will go and advise him on this, and if he proves difficult we will go and see his parents. But please, Stella, exercise a little patience, and allow us to make peace.”

“Stella”, her elder sister Nancy cut in, “I fully support what Mama is saying. There are problems in every relationship. As you know, my husband Robert was a drunkard with a gun in his mouth, always shooting insults. Yet thankfully, all that has changed, and we are now making progress. Please allow us to fix the problem. It will be okay.”

“My daughter”, Papa said, “I certainly sympathise with your situation. At this time, you and Aperkeh should be acquiring the basic necessities and preparing to start a family. The path he has embarked on is a destructive one. He may have fallen into bad company. He must be cautioned to straighten up quickly before it is too late. I will go there, tomorrow, and speak with him, and if necessary I will sit down with his father. This nonsense must stop. So don’t take any action that we will all regret later.

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Allow me to sort things out. It is very unfortunate for him to try to justify his behaviour with the claim that in the past men beat their partner so he is justified for hitting you. He must be checked. I will go there and speak with him this evening.”

“Papa”, Patricia said, “we will go with you. When he sees all of us he will know we are serious about checking his behaviour. Stella, hold fire just a little and go back. You know the problems I have had with Ben. He is changing, and these days he even takes the kids to school and brings them back. All will be well.” “Okay”, Stella noted. “I will expect you tomorrow evening, and I hope your intervention works.”

Papa, Mama and the two girls went to the house the next evening and sat from six to nine, and were getting up to leave when Aperkeh drove in, parked the car, greeted and joined them. Fortunately, he was quite sober.

“Aperkeh”, Papa started, “we have waited for some time, and were about to leave. It’s late so I will cut the niceties and get straight to the point. I’m sure you know why we are here. My daughter tells me that things are not going so well in your relationship.

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You know that before Stella joined you here, the two parents sat and agreed and gave our blessing to your relationship. We were expecting you to come and go through the formalities in due course. So what is happening now, if true, is unfortunate.

But let me hear from you, what problems you are having with my daughter, so that I ensure that the right thing is done.”

“Well, the main problem is her disrespect. She is very disrespectful and controlling. She confronts me every time I come home, demanding to know where I have been, and why I am late.

And she fights anyone who comes to see me. I have the right to receive visitors, and I don’t understand why she should prevent people from coming to see me. So I told her that if she does not want to live here on my terms then she should go back to her parents.”

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“Aperkeh, I don’t think your last statement is right. Even though she is not legally your wife, according to our traditional custom she is your wife, because her parents and your parents sat down and approved of it.

You and Stella both stood before us and said you would enter into this relationship. So you should watch your words. But first, Stella, let me first ask you your response to the accusations he has made.”

“Papa, I have not confronted or fought him over anything. He regularly comes home after 10, most of the time drunk, and very often he does not eat the food I prepare for him. I usually wait till the next day, and try to tell him that he is too young to behave like this, and he responds by slapping me.

And I have a problem with girls coming here to see him, sometimes to collect money. Certainly, I don’t agree with this. Should I sit here and watch girls come and collect money from him? Can a young man at his level afford such a lifestyle?”

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“Aperkeh, I think Stella’s concerns are valid. She is advising you to stop drinking, the late hours and what she fears are the beginning of relationships with girls. I am only here to make peace. If you think there is something you can do about her concerns, let’s make peace, so that you get on with the life ahead of you.

Or I can go and sit down with your father, who is virtually my brother, so that we solve the problem together.”

“There is no need to bring my father in this”, Aperkeh declared. “I have told her that I will not sit in my own house and allow her to control me. She either stays here on my terms, or she leaves.”

“If I get you correctly’, the elderly man said as he rose, “you want to be free to go out every evening and come home drunk, and to entertain girls here whilst she, the woman given to you by your own parents, looks on. Is that what you are saying?”

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“Well, you are free to interpret it anyway you like. I have already said what I have said. She either stays here on my terms and conditions, or she gets out.”

“Okay, I get you. We are going. I’m taking my daughter away, now. Before going home I will stop by your parents’ home and tell them what transpired here. I am sure they will advise you on what to do.”

“You are free to do what you like. My parents cannot dictate for me. I am a grown man.”

Without warning, the elderly man turned to him and gave him a hefty slap which sent him crashing to the floor. He managed to stand, shocked as Stella and her family walked away.

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By Ekow de Heer

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Female bodies for sale

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A man and a woman walking together

It is still the contention of my uncle, Kofi Jogolo, that the moment God created woman, He created a big problem for man. If not, why would man always have to trim his moustache in such a way as to please woman and not himself? And why would a man’s holy organ keep nodding like an agama lizard just because there is a creation called woman?

Sikaman Palava
Sikaman Palava

Sir Kofi Jogolo whose moustache deserves both a national award and mention in the Guinness Book of Records for its stylish variations, told me recently that when you marry, you have palaver; if you don’t marry, you have wahala. All because of woman. I think the bloke is a reincarnation of Paul. Only he looks like Peter.

For those who do not marry, they may be free of marital problems, but might be in sexual bondage, because at dawn, a certain part of the body might nod in distress. It is a wonderful part of the human body that smiles with joy when a woman is lying within arm’s length.

The unmarried may not have to wait until dawn, though. After all, who says you can satisfy a sexual need only at dawn? If there is no girlfriend, there is still a way out. FEMALE BODIES FOR SALE! You only have to ask, “How much?” Sometimes it is worth the price of only two balls of kenkey.

It is for this reason that some people do not discourage women from practising prostitution because they claim the women play a vital role in national development. According to them, first, the nation cannot develop when the citizens are sex-starved. Second, they claim prostitution keeps down figures of rape cases since it is due to the scarcity of female bodies that the incidence of rape is rising.

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Well, some people really adore prostitutes. With them you don’t have to worry about pregnancy. Moreover, you can skip foreplay which many people don’t have the patience for because of their high sexual temperature, or because they consider it a waste of time. And when you pay well, you can enjoy the style you want.

In actual fact, some married men also go in for prostitutes once in a while. They claim that prostitutes do not complain in bed like their wives. When you ask them to raise a leg, they comply without argument.

They also say prostitutes who are experienced can really work on certain parts of your body enough to make you blaspheme. Holy Jesus! The difference is clear then that with prostitutes you pay for the service but with wives it is for free, meaning that the quality of service must differ accordingly.

Many men also say they prefer prostitutes to girlfriends because of “back-pocket palaver”. It is their contention that with girlfriends you have to specialise in telling lies about your credit worthiness especially when you’re not only a human being but also a church mouse.

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Sometimes you have to buy beer and gin because some girlfriends would not like to have sex unless they are properly soaked in booze. You also have to sing them lullabies and recite poetry to turn them on. Ask Devine Ankamah. That’s not all. When all is finished, you have to dish transport money, and if you’re not lucky she’d ask you to settle a “carry forward” you had planned to dodge.

So for just two probably lousy rounds of enjoyment, you’d spend some ¢15,000 if hotel services are included, unless you choose a hotel room where cockroaches and rats don’t practise family planning.

There are those who believe that with prostitutes, you don’t have to tell lies. It is purely business. No credit, no debit. Money na hand back na ground. When you are through and refuse to pay, she’ll cause a scene, scratch your face red and drag your butt onto the street. Next time you don’t have money, you stick to your wife or girlfriend or to your sorrows.

Prostitution in Sikaman is widespread. News reaching Palava have it that in the Obuasi area, it is the major occupation of females. They are in lucrative business. They come from all over the country -Bolga, Tamale, Kumasi, Sunyani, Accra, Odumase, wherever. A few are said to have come from Lagos in full gear.

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When they all come, they sometimes don’t do so with only their bodies and luggage. They also carry with them something small in the form of a disease called AIDS which they distribute free of charge.

So why Obuasi? Gold! The great successes of Ashanti Goldfields combined with the notoriety and boom of galamsey activities have acted as a magnet, drawing in those who peddle their bodies for cash. No cheques!

Sometime back, it was reported that AIDS cases in the Obuasi area had soared. The reason, prostitution. Obuasi prostitutes are, however, of class. They dress to kill. Some speak even more languages, so if you’re a client and you speak even in tongues, they understand. And they drink beer exactly like Germans.

So what really are we doing about these prostitutes who, some say are contributing to national development and others say are enhancing national obituary?

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Sikaman Palava has said it once that the law enforcement agencies have tried time and again to rid them off the streets. They have always failed in doing so. The problem is that they are as slippery as the cockroach. When harassed, they disappear and practise all the same. If caught, they are fined and the next day they are firmly at post.

Some people say because we can’t get rid of them, we must neither encourage nor discourage them. We must find a way of organising them into co-operatives under the name of “SPECIAL HUMAN SERVICES.”

They’d undergo medical screening and those with AIDS banned from practising. The rest would undergo a course in the cause, prevention and cure of sexually-transmitted diseases, personal hygiene, condom use and the healthful ways of practising prostitution.

Then they can be let loose to practise under laid-down rules and regulations and their income taxed.

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That way, the prostitutes would be more beneficial to society and would not be the problem we see them to be.

 This article was first published on Saturday June 29, 1996

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The right mindset is everything

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This year June and part of July, is an enjoyable season for football lovers due to the World Cup which is held every four years.  The World Cup is such a huge event and also very prestigious so it is highly competitive. 

Countries registered with the Federation of International Football Association, (FIFA) become automatic members.  FIFA organises tournaments on the five continents of the world, to enable countries to be selected to play in the World Cup competition. 

Governments support their national teams to ensure qualification to the World Cup due to the prestigious nature of the tournament.  Certain countries even go to the extent of renting a place of their choice, instead of the accommodation provided by FIFA, to ensure that they win the ultimate crown, as Germany did in the 2014 tournament in Brazil. 

Mental strength a requisite for emerging victorious in football matches at such high professional level and everything must be done to endure that players are focused on the matches ahead of them.

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There is however, a peculiar situation in this year’s World Cup, where it is being hosted by three countries namely the United States of America, Mexico and Canada and where one of the host countries, is at war with one of the competing countries. 

The United States of America, is waging a war against Iran.  The US has prevented Iran from staying in the US where they were originally scheduled by FIFA to play their matches.  The US using its power as the host country, has refused to let Iran to stay and FIFA has provided a place in Mexico for the Iranian team to stay.  They have to spend about five hours to fly to the US and prepare to get ready for their matches, each match day. 

They are also forced to leave the US as soon as they finish playing their matches, without resting.  Despite this inhumane treatment being forced on them by the USA, the Iranian team is mentally strong and have managed to draw their two matches played.  

This is a clear manifestation of mental toughness, resulting from having the right mindset.

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Life has a way of often dealing bad cards to a lot of people but it is important that when it happens like that, you look at what you can do with what you have, to still achieve the goals you have set for yourself.

 There is a saying that when life throws you a lemon you make lemonade out of it.  The barriers confronting you might be great, but it is the attitude you display that makes the difference. 

The Iranians have really shown that the right mindset is indeed everything you need to be successful.  They looked at their situation and assessed what was not going in their favour and found appropriate steps to address it. 

Given the teams Iran was to play, the challenge was indeed huge, given the circumstances they found themselves in, but the right mindset to never give up, did the trick for them.

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As human beings, we are always confronted with challenges, right from the day we start to crawl, the day we take our first steps and as we continue to grow into adulthood.  Challenges are part of our daily lives and we must therefore condition our minds, that we shall encounter them and so must constantly be innovative in overcoming them, when we encounter them. 

We need as a country, to develop a critical thinking skill capabilities in our youth, as an investment in the future fortunes of this country.  Developing the right mindset, will enable us overcome every challenge.  God bless.

By Laud Kissi-Mensah

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