Features
Waakye Girl –Part 1
As usual, David dropped his sister Adwoa at the junction of Africa road, and was rejoining the road for the drive to the office when he saw her dishing out waakye to a customer a few metres away.
What a drop-dead beauty, he told himself the following morning, he stopped to buy some waakye, and greeted her rather nicely.
The waakye was very tasty, so he stopped by the next day, and the next. Her two sisters noticed his interest so after the third day, one of them walked over to his car as he was about to drive off, and gave her some unfriendly advice.
“Sir, my sister has been betrothed to a young man, a graduate like you, so please leave her alone. Maybe you don’t mean any harm, but I just want to let you know, just in case.” “Okay, madam,” David said. “She is certainly very beautiful, and I admired her, but I would never have meant her any harm, still, thanks for advising me. The young man who got her is very lucky.” She walked away, unimpressed with his long talk.
He continued to buy from her for about six months. She was always polite and friendly. Mostly when he bought several packs for his colleagues, she carried them to his car.
He never got over thinking that whoever had won the girl was indeed very fortunate. Perhaps he was well known to the family, or even from the same town.
The fact that her sister had come over to drop a ‘friendly warning’ showed that the connection was very close, and they were not going to allow any nonsense to happen to it.
One day, when her sisters were not available she asked him his name, and he followed it up by giving her his number. “I’m sure you can remember it easily. 0244 244 240. You can just call once in a while to say hello. Please don’t be afraid of me. I don’t mean any harm.” She flashed a bigger smile and assured him that she would call. She said her name was Stella.
One afternoon she called him, sounding a little distraught. “David, please, I need some advice. Can I meet you anywhere near our joint? It can be very early in the morning, say by 6:30 a.m., or in the afternoon at about 3:00 p.m.” “Six thirty in the morning is fine, but I can come over this afternoon, if it’s okay. I can stop at about 50 metres from your joint, in front of the bank.” “Yes, that would be fine. Thank you very much.”
She was waiting, and she joined him in the car. He moved some metres forward, to avoid prying eyes. She thanked him for making time to see him, and went straight to the point.
“David, I have no one to help me that is why I am talking to you. You see, my parents agreed with a young man from our home town that he would marry me. He appeared to like me, but I soon realised that he was more interested in having sex with me than marrying me.
My sisters and parents kept pushing me into the relationship, saying that he is one of the few people from our town who has been to university, so this is one chance to get a good marriage and have children who would have a good future.
Due to their pressure I went into it, even though he had only promised to marry me. It is obvious that he does not love me, and I have realised that he and his friends call me ‘waakye girl’.
He goes out and comes late, and on two occasions when I complained about this he slapped me. I told my people but they are adamant that such problems are normal in every relationship, so I should have patience.
You see, the truth is that I don’t love him, and since he is only interested in a sexual relationship with me, sooner or later he will drop me. I have tried to explain this but my parents just don’t agree.”
“Okay, Stella I see the problem, clearly now, here’s my advice you must never allow him to lay his hands on you, not even if he is married to you. So, next time he tries to assault you, warn him that you will report him to the police.
Maybe he already knows that your parents will not pursue charges against him, so he does not fear that.
In any case, resist him whenever he makes an attempt, or leave the house. Your parents should not allow this. Please, let me know how things develop, things might change.
He may realise how lucky he is to get a girl like you and please, always delete all call records and messages you make to me.”
She called him three weeks later. “David, I’m afraid things have not improved, a few days after we spoke, I went to him when he was preparing for bed, and told him that I had problems with his late hours, with his manner of speaking with me, and with the beatings.
He gave me a very nasty reply, he asked me to go and ask my father if he does not beat my mother when she misbehaves, and reminded me that in our town beating is the accepted means of disciplining your wife.
If I did not want him to beat me, then I should behave myself, and he concluded that many girls from my hometown would be happy to be living with a graduate like him.
The next day, he slapped me because I asked about a girl who had come to the house to ask of him. I went and complained to my parents, and they came to the house. He was drunk, and he was very rude to them.
He asked my father if he never beat his wife, and advised him to take me away if he did not agree to the discipline he is enforcing in his home. He started raining insults, and my dad warned him that if he spoke one more word of insult, he would rather discipline him, and he kept quiet.”
“Ah, so he fears something, great. Let’s see if the fear of your dad will get him to behave himself. But Stella, allow me to say this, you are a very beautiful girl, and I believe you have a great future ahead of you.
If your man has made it so clear what he would do to you in future, perhaps it would be a good idea to leave the relationship and get a good education. You already have a good WASSCE certificate, there are university courses for working people, even if you continue the relationship, I suggest that you pursue education as a priority.
I will share some information on university courses with you, and encourage you to follow up.” “Thank God I spoke with you, David, I will take this up very seriously. I have always been interested in the accounting profession. Next time we talk, the story will be much different.”
Conflict at work is more common than you might think. According to 2022 research by The Myers-Briggs Company, more than a third of the workforce reports dealing with conflict often, very often, or all the time in the workplace. The same report found that managers spend an average of four hours per week dealing with conflict, and nearly 25 per cent of people think their managers handle conflict poorly or very poorly.
Addressing a dispute might feel tense or awkward, but resolving the conflict is typically well worth it in the long run. Whether you’re trying to mediate conflict between colleagues or are directly involved, here are seven steps you can take to manage workplace conflict.
1. Don’t put it off
Facing conflict head-on is hard. However, waiting too long to address it can negatively impact your emotional well-being, focus, and the entire office environment. If you’re feeling angry, letting that emotion fester can also escalate it over time. This can make you less responsive to other points of view and make it harder to resolve the issue.
The sooner you can address the conflict, the better it will be for you, the person you disagree with, and your entire team.
2. Learn all you can about the problem
It’s important to determine the type of conflict you’re dealing with. Begin by considering the cause of the conflict. For example, ask yourself whether someone said something that upset you or if you have emotions of anger and resentment that stemmed from something that happened.
Then try to identify if it’s a task, relationship, value, or team conflict. Once you know what type of conflict it is, you can work to resolve it with specific tactics for that situation.
If you skip this step, you may waste time or escalate the situation further by trying to address issues irrelevant to the real conflict.
3. Actively listen
Listen attentively when people share their side of the story. Active listening is one of the most valuable professional skills you can possess. This type of listening involves not only hearing what the other person is saying but also listening to understand their point of view.
No matter your role in conflict, it’s easy to begin sharing your opinion with little regard for the other people involved. However, it’s important to learn about all sides of a disagreement to make well-informed decisions before drawing conclusions.
To reach a resolution, you must step back and prioritize listening over talking. Ultimately, that will encourage the other person to do the same when it’s your turn to speak. –source: betterup.com
Today, I focus on the Temple Of Praise Ministries International (TOP Church) in Helsinki, as I continue my description of personalities or institutions and their accomplishments as members of the Ghanaian Diaspora in Finland.
The TOP Church in Finland has seen significant strides and accomplishments that must be made known to the public. 
Some history
The Church was established in Finland in September 2016. Since its inception, it has steadily grown both spiritually and numerically, by the grace of God, as disclosed to me by Mr Matthew Anini Twumasi, the Presiding Elder of TOP’s branch in Finland. The TOP Church has other branches across Africa, Europe, and America.
The Church in Finland was founded with a vision to create a welcoming and dynamic community where people could experience God’s love and grace (see, www.topchurchfinland.org). According to Presiding Elder Matthew, the TOP Church operates within a unique environment where Christianity coexists with what is seen as a largely secular society.
Despite this, he submits, there are significant opportunities for outreach, unity, and demonstrating the love of Christ through service and community engagement.
Activities
Church services at the TOP Church are typically held on Sundays for the main worship. In addition, there are mid-week prayer sessions, Saturday prayer services, and a half-night service held on the last Friday of every month. “We also organise quarterly programs”, Elder Matthew added.
His impression of the Church so far has been positive. “It is a vibrant and welcoming community where members are committed to worship, fellowship, and supporting one another in faith”, he stated.
In sum, Elder Matthew said the Church continues to grow by God’s grace. “We remain hopeful and committed to spreading the Gospel, strengthening the faith of our members, and making a positive impact in society”, he continued.
Achievements
The TOP Church has a number of achievements and achievements. Some of the strengths include strong community bonds, cultural diversity, and deep commitment to spiritual growth.
I also remember that during the COVID-19 period, I heard that the TOP Church was one such bodies that hugely supported its members and others to cope with the situation.
According to Elder Matthew, the challenges facing the church include “adapting to cultural differences, engaging the younger generation, expanding outreach in a secular society, and securing a permanent place of worship”.
Role in the Ghanaian community in Finland
The TOP Church plays a prominent role as a religious group that serves Ghanaian migrants and others in the Finnish society.
Thus, the TOP Church is a religious body for Ghanaian migrants in Finland and other nationalities who want to worship with them for diversity and better intercultural and multicultural understanding.
The Church also has mechanisms in place to support its members who are bereaved as a way to commiserate with them in times of death and funerals.
The Ghanaian community has played a vital role in the growth of the Church. Their strong sense of fellowship, dedication to worship, and active participation have helped build a solid foundation and attract others to the ministry, according to Elder Matthew.
Integration
By its activities, the TOP Church is helping to ensure integration of its members well into the Finish society.
This is important since social interaction and citizens’ well-being are an important part of the integration process.
The role of migrant associations and groups such as TOP Church acting as bridge-builders for the integration and inclusion of migrants through participation in the decision making process and by acting as a representative voice is highly appreciated in Finland. Thank you!
GHANA MATTERS column appears fortnightly. Written in simple, layman’s terms, it concentrates on matters about Ghana and beyond. It focuses on everyday life issues relating to the social, cultural, economic, religious, political, health, sports, youth, gender, etc. It strives to remind us all that Ghana comes first. The column also takes a candid look at the meanings and repercussions of our actions, especially those things we take for granted or even ignore. There are key Ghanaian values we should uphold rather than disregard with impunity. We should not overlook the obvious. We need to search for the hidden or deeply embedded values and try to project them.
With Dr Perpetual Crentsil
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