Obaa Yaa
Are her concerns valid?
Dear Obaa Yaa,
A friend opened up to me recently that her husband gave her GH¢1,000.00 for her upkeep and that of her three daughters every month. Apart from this amount, she said, she did not receive any other support from her husband.
According to her, “the funds are not enough and it does not sustain her and the children throughout the month”. And that her husband did not seem to understand any time she asked for more money to cater for the basic needs at home.
I have asked her to be patient and manage the ‘little’ funds available to her. Are her concerns valid or she is being unappreciative of her husband’s effort?
Mavis Obuobisa,
Kwashieman.
Dear Mavis,
An amount of GH¢1,000 every month is quite appreciable. There are ladies who receive less than this amount every month yet they are able to survive and take care of their entire family.
Please ask your friend to stop complaining about what she is being offered. If she really wants more money for herself, then she might as well start a petty business so she can make some extra income in addition to what her husband offers.
Obaa Yaa
Alhaji is older than my father
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I have been traditionally married to an Alhaji at the instance of my parents at the age of 16 years.
Gladly, he has not had any sexual intercourse with me all this while.
Meanwhile, he funded my education from second cycle to the University where I have a year to graduate.
The idea was that I will finally move in to stay with him as husband and wife after getting my degree.
I will not be able to stand the shame and humiliation from friends if I marry him.
He is rich and caring, I must admit.
Should I agree to marry Alhaji who is few years older than my father?
Adiza,
Nima.
Dear Adiza,
YOU have been married to Alhaji traditionally, so technically you are his wife.
If you feel you don’t want this man, kindly discuss with your parents who gave your hand in marriage.
I must, however, warn that you might not have your way that easily after enjoying all the benefits Alhaji has offered to see you through your education.
The people to blame are your parents. They have put you in this trouble.
Discuss it with them as to how best they can get you out of it. It might mean reimbursing the Alhaji for all he has spent on you.
That may be a huge sum of money you cannot pay and I doubt if Alhaji will take it lightly with you.
Obaa Yaa
They harrass me everyday
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a 12-year-old girl. My mother and I just moved to a new area in Accra. For some time now, I have a big problem on my neck.
A group of young men, three of them who I believe are in their early 20s always sit in front of their house and harass me whenever I am on my way back from school.
This is because one of them sent me on an errand and I refused to go.
Since then they have harassed me and also called me names.
One of them has threatened to beat me up if I use that route.
I always plead with my classmates to accompany me home every day because I’m scared of them.
I don’t feel safe when I walk alone.
Esi, Oyarifa.
Dear Esi,
I UNDERSTAND how you feel, especially when it comes to the fact that boys want to team up to bully you.
You always feel insecure because they can harm you.
Kindly tell your mother to lodge a formal complaint to their parent or head of household.
Let your mother make it explicit to the boys and their family that if the harassment and threats do not cease, then the police would be brought in.
