Obaa Yaa
They have a secret relationship
Dear Obaa Yaa,
A friend of mine introduced me to a young man few months ago. I accepted his proposal and we have dated for three years. But I discovered recently that my new boyfriend had dated my friend in the past.
They both tell me they are “just friends” but I notice they express their feelings towards each other during phone conversations. I have seen text messages to prove they have an affair.
My friend denied when I confronted her and insisted they are “just friends.” When I asked my fiance he got upset that I had read messages on his phone, but did not deny the secret relationship with my friend.
He told me if I wanted to maintain the relationship, I should not talk about the other lady. It appears I have been living in a fool’s paradise. I am gradually losing hope in him. I don’t know what to do.
Mavis, Taifa.
Dear Mavis,
Sometimes you need to let go of what you love so much if your love is not replicated. As long as your boyfriend did not deny the relationship, he is likely to continue the secret relationships with your friend. Don’t ‘lose hope’. If you feel you’re the ‘third party’ in the relationship, take a break and use the break to redirect yourself.
Obaa Yaa
I am sexually attracted to children
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a young man residing in Tamale. I am 40 years old and I have got my own business which is going on successfully.
The nature of my job had made me richer and am able to afford anything that I want.
My only problem is that I need a partner but I don’t fall in love with matured women. I am attracted to children.
I have had an encounter with so many women who are ‘marriage materials and type’ but none of them touch my heart.
In my previous relationship, the girl I dated was 15 years. She took me as a big brother but to me she was my lover.
Now that she is 22 and I can marry her, I have lost interest in her.
Obaa Yaa, what do you think is actually wrong with me? Is it normal? How can I have a partner if I continue to feel this way?
Dabo, Tamale.
Dear Dabo,
I don’t even know how to start this conversation. It is not everything that your heart desires that you should go for.
You need to understand that your desire for children sexually is criminal under the laws of this land so it should not be entertained.
I suggest you seek the assistance of psychologist to advise you or else you might end up in jail.
You might be suffering from pedophilia which is a condition of being sexually attracted to children. You need psychiatric help.
I suggest you also speak to your pastors to help you in prayers, in case it might be spiritual.
Obaa Yaa
The banker deceived me
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I fell in love with a banker who told me he wasn’t married and therefore, wanted to marry me.
We started going out and spending time together. He went to the extent of going to see my parents for the engagement list.
It was only after I got pregnant when he confessed he was already married and could not afford to marry me as a second wife.
The problem is that for the past five years, this man has refused to provide for the upkeep of the child.
He is not showing any commitments towards the child and making things difficult for me.
I am currently finding it difficult to take care of the child’s feeding and clothing.
My child is very brilliant at school and my fear is that I cannot give him the best of education since I am not working.
Prisca, Dodowa.
Dear Prisca,
Your story is a sad and unfortunate one. He just ‘toyed’ with you and was successful.
It’s about time women check about the men who propose to them.
And in the first place, why were you intimate with him, knowing very well that you were not married?
Report the matter to the Domestic Violence and Victims Support Unit (DOVVSU) of the Ghana Police Service, formerly known as Women and Juvenile Unit (WAJU) immediately.
They would summon him and question him about the upkeep of his child and employ legal means to make him accept responsibility for the child.
