Features
Getting a wife
For some curious reasons, marriage is becoming popular. The churches are even encouraging it, although if you are caught romancing before marriage, you are likely to be summoned before a disciplinary committee which will be empowered to investigate whether there is an evil spirit involved.
After the offending church members are made to testify, a deliverance session will be organised so that the evil spirit responsible for pre-marital licence can be paid off. The spirit will be asked to vamoose and come back no more.
The ‘couple’ now free of evil, one will be asked to go through counselling to prepare them for marriage that is if they really want to become man and wife.
Prospective brides and grooms are always advised to attend counselling together, they are taught all about the need for marriage and how marriage should be conducted along biblical lines.
They are taught to love and not to hate, and tutored on issues concerning reproductive health and child bearing and courtship.
Normally when it comes to courtship, the Pastor realises that those he is counselling are more knowledgeable in the subject than himself. In that sense, the Pastor should be the one who deserves counselling, because there are some tricks he should be made to learn judging from his ignorance.
However, in some cases, a counsellor has so much experience that those counselled are compelled to listen. The counsellor takes the pains to teach even the art and craft of lovemaking, which aims at equipping the man with all knowledge he needs to satisfy his wife in bed and vice versa.
In doing all these, the pastor assumes that the man and woman before him, listening with rapt attention, aren’t already copulating. It means they do not know each other, of course in the carnal sense.
But if they already know themselves, they are supposed to keep it a secret from the pastor, otherwise they would be charged with engaging in pre-marital sex, which is against the doctrine of the Lord Jesus, the Christ.
After the counselling sessions, which can take some six weeks, the prospective couple are supposed to be ready for the altar, where they would be blessed and whatever they do in bed can be regarded as sanctioned by the church, encouraged from the pulpit and blessed in heaven . Halleluyah!
The fact that man and woman have gone through counselling means they must wed. These days, however, the pastor would require an AIDS certificate before the two are bonded together. The idea is that, the church must not be party to situations where two individuals are joined together to infect each other, in short, for one to kill the other.
But the issue of AIDS certificates often becomes untenable, because in many instances, before counselling, the man had already known the woman about thousand times and without condoms, so the issue of one infecting the other doesn’t rise.
So it is the duty of the man to tell the pastor not to worry his head, because even ‘yesterday was a good time.’
The only problem is that people fear to tell the pastor the truth, meaning that hypocrisy in the church is accepted as a virtue and plain talk a vice.
Plain talk can only complicate matters for you, because in the first place the pastor expects you to hide certain things from him. Even if you are having pre-marital sex, the pastor expects you to say nay! Never! God forbid! Then you’ll be regarded as good material for heaven.
For man and woman who have long known each other succumb to an AIDS test, which I bet, isn’t an easy thing.
The problem with the test is that a positive result is worse than a death sentence. So you’d want to live without knowing whether you are positive or negative.
I have also learnt one strange thing about the disease and the test. Those who sound very confident that they are virus-free are those who test positive. Those who are not quite sure all come out negative.
When you present a negative result to the pastor, he rejoices with you, pending the outcome of that of your mate. If she is negative, praise the Lord.
A positive result, however, prompts the pastor to quickly ask you to leave the church premises lest you infect the congregation. So you leave mournfully and start preparing for your obituary.
It is quite interesting the way pastors insist on the AIDS certificates as the only foolproof passport into marriage. For their information it is not.
When the AIDS virus enters into the human body, it might not be detected until sometime after six months. So an AIDS test can be negative today but positive when it is done after six months.
The pastors, themselves need to be tutored on the disease and should also be tested to show their congregation that they are free from the virus, and that they are being faithful to their wives.
Conflict at work is more common than you might think. According to 2022 research by The Myers-Briggs Company, more than a third of the workforce reports dealing with conflict often, very often, or all the time in the workplace. The same report found that managers spend an average of four hours per week dealing with conflict, and nearly 25 per cent of people think their managers handle conflict poorly or very poorly.
Addressing a dispute might feel tense or awkward, but resolving the conflict is typically well worth it in the long run. Whether you’re trying to mediate conflict between colleagues or are directly involved, here are seven steps you can take to manage workplace conflict.
1. Don’t put it off
Facing conflict head-on is hard. However, waiting too long to address it can negatively impact your emotional well-being, focus, and the entire office environment. If you’re feeling angry, letting that emotion fester can also escalate it over time. This can make you less responsive to other points of view and make it harder to resolve the issue.
The sooner you can address the conflict, the better it will be for you, the person you disagree with, and your entire team.
2. Learn all you can about the problem
It’s important to determine the type of conflict you’re dealing with. Begin by considering the cause of the conflict. For example, ask yourself whether someone said something that upset you or if you have emotions of anger and resentment that stemmed from something that happened.
Then try to identify if it’s a task, relationship, value, or team conflict. Once you know what type of conflict it is, you can work to resolve it with specific tactics for that situation.
If you skip this step, you may waste time or escalate the situation further by trying to address issues irrelevant to the real conflict.
3. Actively listen
Listen attentively when people share their side of the story. Active listening is one of the most valuable professional skills you can possess. This type of listening involves not only hearing what the other person is saying but also listening to understand their point of view.
No matter your role in conflict, it’s easy to begin sharing your opinion with little regard for the other people involved. However, it’s important to learn about all sides of a disagreement to make well-informed decisions before drawing conclusions.
To reach a resolution, you must step back and prioritize listening over talking. Ultimately, that will encourage the other person to do the same when it’s your turn to speak. –source: betterup.com
Today, I focus on the Temple Of Praise Ministries International (TOP Church) in Helsinki, as I continue my description of personalities or institutions and their accomplishments as members of the Ghanaian Diaspora in Finland.
The TOP Church in Finland has seen significant strides and accomplishments that must be made known to the public. 
Some history
The Church was established in Finland in September 2016. Since its inception, it has steadily grown both spiritually and numerically, by the grace of God, as disclosed to me by Mr Matthew Anini Twumasi, the Presiding Elder of TOP’s branch in Finland. The TOP Church has other branches across Africa, Europe, and America.
The Church in Finland was founded with a vision to create a welcoming and dynamic community where people could experience God’s love and grace (see, www.topchurchfinland.org). According to Presiding Elder Matthew, the TOP Church operates within a unique environment where Christianity coexists with what is seen as a largely secular society.
Despite this, he submits, there are significant opportunities for outreach, unity, and demonstrating the love of Christ through service and community engagement.
Activities
Church services at the TOP Church are typically held on Sundays for the main worship. In addition, there are mid-week prayer sessions, Saturday prayer services, and a half-night service held on the last Friday of every month. “We also organise quarterly programs”, Elder Matthew added.
His impression of the Church so far has been positive. “It is a vibrant and welcoming community where members are committed to worship, fellowship, and supporting one another in faith”, he stated.
In sum, Elder Matthew said the Church continues to grow by God’s grace. “We remain hopeful and committed to spreading the Gospel, strengthening the faith of our members, and making a positive impact in society”, he continued.
Achievements
The TOP Church has a number of achievements and achievements. Some of the strengths include strong community bonds, cultural diversity, and deep commitment to spiritual growth.
I also remember that during the COVID-19 period, I heard that the TOP Church was one such bodies that hugely supported its members and others to cope with the situation.
According to Elder Matthew, the challenges facing the church include “adapting to cultural differences, engaging the younger generation, expanding outreach in a secular society, and securing a permanent place of worship”.
Role in the Ghanaian community in Finland
The TOP Church plays a prominent role as a religious group that serves Ghanaian migrants and others in the Finnish society.
Thus, the TOP Church is a religious body for Ghanaian migrants in Finland and other nationalities who want to worship with them for diversity and better intercultural and multicultural understanding.
The Church also has mechanisms in place to support its members who are bereaved as a way to commiserate with them in times of death and funerals.
The Ghanaian community has played a vital role in the growth of the Church. Their strong sense of fellowship, dedication to worship, and active participation have helped build a solid foundation and attract others to the ministry, according to Elder Matthew.
Integration
By its activities, the TOP Church is helping to ensure integration of its members well into the Finish society.
This is important since social interaction and citizens’ well-being are an important part of the integration process.
The role of migrant associations and groups such as TOP Church acting as bridge-builders for the integration and inclusion of migrants through participation in the decision making process and by acting as a representative voice is highly appreciated in Finland. Thank you!
GHANA MATTERS column appears fortnightly. Written in simple, layman’s terms, it concentrates on matters about Ghana and beyond. It focuses on everyday life issues relating to the social, cultural, economic, religious, political, health, sports, youth, gender, etc. It strives to remind us all that Ghana comes first. The column also takes a candid look at the meanings and repercussions of our actions, especially those things we take for granted or even ignore. There are key Ghanaian values we should uphold rather than disregard with impunity. We should not overlook the obvious. We need to search for the hidden or deeply embedded values and try to project them.
With Dr Perpetual Crentsil
