Features
The comedy and tragedy of valentine’s day
As a rule, school boys over 14 years of age in the past, learnt how to write love letters, because it saved them the embarrassment and shock if their love proposals were rejected. They normally waited patiently for the girls to reply to the carefully worded letters.
If no reply was received after two weeks, it meant the proposal had been turned down since it could no longer be receiving attention. It could also mean that the girl had been advised by her mates to send the love letter to the headmaster. It showed that she was prepared to reserve her virginity.
When a headmaster receives such letter, he is both glad and sad at the same time. He is glad because some bad boy has been identified and a good example was going to be made of him to serve as a deterrent to other erring lads or potential miscreants.
MESSAGE
The headmaster becomes sad because of the quality of love letter sitting on his desk. He reads the letter three times over and cannot believe that a 15 year-old boy can craft such a wonderful message, so brilliantly, so immaculately. Jesus Christ!
He himself could never conjure such words from imagination irrespective of the girth of his knowledge in English composition, vocabulary, diction and syntax.
What even amazes the headmaster is that the offending boy in normally block-head, so daft that he cannot form a single sentence in English without committing grammatical suicide.
Yet he could compose a love letter in Oxford English, the kind of English which the Queen of England would be jealous of.
The headmaster would wonder whether love indeed inspires and turn idiots and block-heads into professional wordsmiths. He must investigate how a 15 year-old boy with no brains whatsoever can pen a love-letter that could touch the heart of any lady who reads it? The most committed nun would not fail to be impressed.
He reads the letter once again and notes the descriptive prowess of the writer, his narrative drive, his literary grandiloquence. He describes his lover’s beauty in terms unimaginable.
After the head master’s investigation, he realises that the letter is a stereotype circulating among the boys. The origin of the author is quite unknown, but the letter is certified to guarantee a favourable reply from any girl to whom it is sent. In other words, love unlimited is assured.
Normally, the girls do not understand what the letter means. It is more tragic that even the boys who copy the letter, often in very bad handwriting, do not know the meaning of the words used, except that they are supposed to evoke love and passion, whichever was forthcoming.
In one out of five letters, a response is received. The girl acknowledges receipt of the letter and adds that she is thinking about the proposal. That ends it. It is a polite way of communicating to the boy that his application has been rejected. No hard feelings!
A might accept the proposal not based on the quality of the letter she received. She accepts because she is also either in love or envisions that a relationship would be worth it in terms of the gifts she’d be receiving from the boy, normally without strings attached.
DISASTER
Juvenile love is normally not sexually, but it can evoke jealously to disastrous extents-two girls openly quarreling over a boy who doesn’t know his left from his right.
Two boys can break each other’s nose over a girl who doesn’t love any of them. It’s a funny world and it is great to be young.
When teenagers outgrow their infant stupidities, their courtships are more purposeful.
They start entertaining relationships that could end in marriage. Those who are lustful and do not have marriage as their goal, court for one-night stands or just for sex whenever they feel like it.
When it is a serious relationship for young man and women for 20 to 25 years of age exchange and on Valentine’s Day, they express love for each other in very superlative terms. By this time they are mature, some in the universities and polytechnics.
In times past, Valentine’s Day was not as important in the lives of couples. February 14 was not a noted day. It came and passed quietly without fuss.
It was when private radio stations were granted licenses to operate in Ghana that Valentine became a national disease.
MISTAKE
It has been hyped and commercialised so much that even secondary school students who used to be very innocent in matters of the heart, constantly look forward to February 14 to either express love, share love or demand sex which they normally mistake for love.
It is really amazing that while encouraging our youth to stay clear of matters that could lead them into unsafe sex, we have over the years glorified Valentine’s Day, openly encouraging people to celebrate the day, and to consummate it with love which naturally ends up in sex.
Before Valentine’s Day, girls start dreaming and boys begin to fantasising about what they’d be doing. They must look their best, spend on gifts and cards.
They even steal from their parents to satisfy their lovers.
On February 14, some boys will escape from the boarding house to go and honour Valentines’ Day. Girls will jump wall to meet them.
Nine months from there, new babies will cry out to announce their arrival into this nation of mysteries and the blind adoption of alien values.
When Abigail Fremah steps up to the Armwrestling table, the noise fades, the tension settles, and order takes over.
Despite a calm, but firm and meticulous disposition, she has become one of the quiet forces shaping Ghana’s growing reputation in the sport, not as an athlete, but a referee trusted on the continental stage.
Abigail’s journey into Armwrestling did not begin at the table. Like many Ghanaian sports enthusiasts, she grew up playing several disciplines. Football was her first love, but she also featured in volleyball and basketball during her school years. Sports, she says, was simply a way of life not just for her.
“It runs through the family. All my siblings are into sports,” she stated.
“I was involved in almost every sport in school, football, volleyball, netball, hockey; I did everything,” she recalls.
Her academic background in Health, Physical Education and Recreation laid a solid foundation for her sporting career. While on scholarship at the university (University of Cape Coast), she often used her modest budget to support young athletes, sometimes sharing skills and even T-shirts at programmes she attended. Giving back, she explains, has always been part of her motivation.
However, as she matured as an athlete, Abigail made a critical self-assessment.
“Armwrestling involves a lot of strength,” she admits. “Looking at my body type, I realised I couldn’t fit properly as a competitive athlete.”
That moment of honesty pushed her to a different trajectory but equally important path in sports; which is officiating.
During her National Service, she was encouraged by Mr Charles Osei Asibey, the President of the Ghana Armwrestling Federation (GAF), to consider officiating. He introduced her to a technical official, Mr Hussein Akuerteh Addy, who formally took her through the basics of Armwrestling officiating in 2021.
“I started as a case official,” she says. “We moved from region to region every week, officiating competitions. That’s where it all began.”
By 2022, Abigail was actively involved in national assignments, though she missed the African Championship that year. Her breakthrough came in 2023, when Ghana hosted the African Armwrestling Championship.
It was her first experience officiating at a major international competition and it changed everything.
“That was my first national and international exposure at the same time,” she says. “It really opened my eyes.”
Today, Abigail is a World Junior Armwrestling Referee, a status earned through performance, consistency and discipline. She explains that progression in officiating was not automatic.
“It’s all about performance, your appearance at African Championships, your conduct, how you handle pressure; that’s what takes you to the world level,” she stressed.
As a referee, Abigail’s priority is safety and fairness. Armwrestling, she notes, comes with risks, particularly injuries to the wrists, elbows, shoulders and arms.
“If athletes don’t follow the rules or refuse to listen to officials, injuries can happen,” she explains, adding that focus was everything.
Before every match, she ensures that all equipment which includes elbow pads, hand pegs and table alignment were properly set. Athletes are not allowed to cover their elbows, must grip correctly, and must follow the referee’s commands precisely.
“We make sure everything is fixed before the grip,” she says. “Once we say ‘Ready… Go’, there should be no confusion.”
She is also firm on discipline. Warnings are issued for infractions, and repeated misconduct attracts penalties.
“The referee must be respected, if you don’t listen, the rules will deal with you,” she says.
Abigail credits her confidence partly to her sporting family background. Her mother was a volleyball player, while other family members also participated in sports. Though they were initially concerned about her safety, her rise to the top reassured them.
“They were afraid at first,” she admits. “But they were also very proud, especially because some of them never got the opportunity to reach this level.”
Looking ahead, Abigail is optimistic about the future of Armwrestling in Ghana. In less than a decade, the country has produced African and world-level medalists, a sign, she believes, of great things to come for Ghana.
“Whenever we go out, we come back with medals such as gold and silver,” she says, and to her that was a sign of growth.
In the next five to ten years, Abigail sees herself rising to become a World Master Referee, the highest officiating level in the sport. Until then, her routine remains intense, training four times a week, working closely with athletes, standing on her feet for hours, and constantly refining her understanding of the rules.
“I love this sport,” she says simply. “That love is what keeps me going.”
Abigail encouraged women to be bold and intentional about their place in sports saying “don’t limit yourself because of fear or stereotypes.”
She also urged women to invest in learning, discipline and consistency, stressing that respect was earned through performance.
For Abigail, as Ghana’s armwrestlers continue to make their mark, she will remain where she is most effective at the table, ensuring the game is played right.
By Esinam Jemima Kuatsinu
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As he had promised Aperkeh, the elderly man and his wife and three daughters stopped by Aperkeh’s parents’ house. Mr Amando and his family were preparing to settle in for the night.
“Brother Ben and family”, Mr Joshua Amando said warmly, “although I know you are here on a matter that can hardly be described as joyous, it is still good to see you. You are welcome. Please sit down while I bring you water”.
“Yes, we will take water, even though we are hardly thirsty, because this is our home”.
“Okay, Ben”, he started after they had drank, “Let me go straight to the point. My daughter Priscilla has told me about the goings on between her brother Aperkeh and our daughter Stella.
Before informing me, Priscilla had expressed concern to Aperkeh about some habits he is adopting, especially the late nights and the drinking. She tells me that one Saturday morning, she was there when Stella complained about his drinking and some girls who had come to the house to look for him, and he assaulted her.
I called him and complained, but all he could say was that I don’t know what caused him to react that way, so I could not judge him. Now he does not answer my calls.
I have sent Priscilla to his house to call him, but he has refused to come. Unfortunately, Ben, my son is a much different person than the young boy who completed university and started work at the bank. I am really embarrassed about his treatment of Stella”.
“Joshua, let me assure you that even though what is happening is very unfortunate, it will not affect our relationship.
We have been friends since childhood, and I thought that with their parents’ blessing, the relationship between Aperkeh and Stella would grow to become a blessing to all of us. But there appears to be a real challenge now.
Stella thinks that Aperkeh wants her out of his house, and indeed Aperkeh himself told me that, about an hour ago.
So I’m taking my daughter home. I suggest that you do what you can to straighten him out, but if it does not work out, let’s accept the situation and continue to be one family.
I am sure that being the well behaved girl that she is, Stella will meet a young man who will cherish her. Fortunately, this problem is happening early in the day, so they can sort things out if possible, or move on with their lives if they are unable to stay together”.
“I’m really grateful for that, Ben. I will do my best in the next few days to reason with him, because apart from the relationship with Stella, Aperkeh is risking his job and career with this lifestyle.
A good job and salary offers an opportunity to gather momentum in life, not to destroy yourself”.
“Okay Brother Joshua. We will say goodnight. I hope to hear positive news from you”.
As he descended in the lift from the fourth to the ground floor, Aperkeh wondered who would be waiting at the reception to see him at nine on Monday morning. He had spent good time with both of his new girls during the weekend, so it had to be someone else. He got out of the lift and pulled a face when he saw Priscilla.
“Priscilla”, he said as he sat down by her, “what do you want here? You know Monday morning is a busy time at the bank. I am a very busy person, so say what you want, I have work to do”.
“You are very funny, Aperkeh. You are telling me, your sister, that you have work to do, so I should hurry up? Okay, Dad says I should advise you to come home tonight, because he wants to discuss the issue of Stella with you. He sent me to you twice, and you did not come.
He has tried to call you quite a number of times, but you have refused to answer his calls. He says that if you do not come tonight, you will be very surprised at what he will do. He says you will not like it at all, so better come.
“What is all this? Why won’t you people leave me alone? Stella is very disrespectful. I told her that if she wanted to continue to live in my house, she must obey me. It is that simple.
She chose to continue ordering me about, controlling me in my own house, so I told her that if she could not live under my conditions she should leave. And she left. In fact, her own father came and took her away. So what again?’’
“How did she disobey or control you? Was she complaining about your continuous drinking and late nights? And did you slap her on several occasions because of that? Did you tell her that if she could not live under your conditions she should leave? You actually said that to her father? You have forgotten that before she came to live with you, our two parents met and agreed, and gave it their blessing?’
“Why don’t you leave, Priscilla? I don’t have to listen to all that”. “Okay, I will go. Your father who gave birth to you and educated you to university level sends me to you, and you ask me to leave? I wish you would defy him, and refuse to come home as he’s telling you, because he is planning to give you the discipline you badly need. Let me tell you. Stella is such a beautiful and decent girl, and I assure you that someone will grab her before you say Jack. You are only 30 years old, and you have already become a drunkard”.
As he walked towards the lift, Aperkeh decided on what to do. He would go home, and calmly listen to what his father had to say. The old man was very unpredictable, and he wouldn’t dare ignore him. So he would take all the insults and threats, but as for Stella she was history. According to Priscilla, Stella was beautiful and all that, but she had not seen the two curvaceous princesses who were all over him, ready to do anything he asked. And these were not barely literate waakye girls, but university graduates from wealthy homes, really classy girls. With stuff like that, who needs a waakye girl? He smiled as he took his seat.
A few minutes to five, Aperkeh was packing up to leave for home to meet his dad when his phone rang. It was Priscilla.
“Aperkeh, Dad says you don’t need to bother to come. Stella’s dad says she came to him early this morning to plead that she would rather stay at home than return to your house. She thinks you are already decided to be rid of her, and she does not want to risk being assaulted again. So it’s done. You can go ahead and enjoy the nice life you have started”.
Before he could tell her to go to hell, Priscilla hanged up the line. He was partially stung that his dad had virtually cut him off. The last thing anyone would want was to fall out of relationship with his own family, which had always supported him.
But the truth was he was no longer interested in Stella. What was wrong with going by one’s feelings? He could only hope that one day, his parents and sister would try to reason with him.
By Ekow de Heer
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