Obaa Yaa

My mother is bitter

Published

5 years ago

May 23, 2020

Dear Obaa Yaa,

My elder sister and her boyfriend want to settle down in September but there is some confusion over who will give out the marriage list. My mother thinks my father does not deserve that honour because he had abandoned us for the past 15 years.

The two-bedroom self-contained house in which we live belongs to my father. He owns other houses also which my mother has rented out. My mother is threatening to disown my sister if she involves our father in the marriage arrangements.

Our father has apologised to us and we have forgiven him but I do not know why mom is still bitter. We have tried to convince her but she will not listen to us. What do we do?

Mabel, Kasoa.

Dear Mabel,

Irrespective of whatever happened in the past, your father still has a place in the marriage ceremony. Once he is alive, he has to take the bride price and bless the marriage. However, your mother may be bitter because she might have endured a lot of challenges in the last 15 years when your father was ‘absent’.

Engage your mother once again and help her to forgive your father so they both can support the marriage ceremony. You and your siblings can as well talk to elders in your family to talk to your mother. Hopefully, things will work out because your father’s blessing is important in the marriage. But if all possible resolutions fail, respect your mother’s decision.

Obaa Yaa

I am Torn Between Two Guys

Published

6 days ago

October 11, 2025

WeeklySpectator

Dear Obaa Yaa,

I am torn between two guys and finding it very difficult to make a choice.

I have known the first guy for three years. We respect each other a lot. We started as just friends, but we recently began dating. Even though we don’t have much in common, he makes me feel loved and special.

Interestingly, I met the second guy only two weeks ago through a mutual friend. From the beginning, it has been nothing but good vibes between us. I enjoy his company, and we share many things in common. He is basically my type of man, both physically and mentally.

Now I feel like I have to choose, but I am lost and unsure who to go for.

—Esinam, Legon

Dear Esinam,

When it comes to love, everyone must take time to think carefully. You’re not just choosing a partner—you are choosing a potential husband and the father of your children, regardless of your current feelings.

Consider your priorities. Which of the two aligns better with your values, goals, and aspirations?

You might also reflect on:

Emotional stability — Who offers long-term security and respect?
Compatibility — Who truly understands you and shares your vision?
Consistency — Who has shown genuine care over time?
Future plans — Who fits into the life you want to build?

Attraction and good vibes are important, but so are character, compatibility, and long-term intentions.

Take your time, listen to your inner peace, and choose the one who fits not just your heart today, but your future tomorrow.

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Obaa Yaa

My grades are dropping

Published

6 days ago

October 11, 2025

WeeklySpectator

Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a 22-year-old lady at the University of Ghana, Legon. I realised my Grade Point Average (GPA) was very good and could even get a First Class if I put in more effort.

It is rather unfortunate that in Level 300, I have noticed a significant drop in my academic performance, which has left me both confused and worried about my future.

The increased workload and expectations at this level have been overwhelming, making it challenging to balance demanding courses with extracurricular activities and personal responsibilities.

This pressure has fuelled my anxiety, making it even harder to maintain my grades. The coursework is substantially more demanding, and I often find myself struggling to keep pace.

This sudden shift has been disheartening, and I can’t help but worry about the long-term impact it may have on my future.

Chelsea, Accra.

Dear Chelsea,

Although you have realised a significant drop in your grades, it does not mean that you should throw in the towel. See it as a signal to change your approach to studies.

Identify the subjects or topics you are struggling with and put in more effort. Create a study timetable to manage your time well, making sure you revise regularly instead of waiting until exams.

Don’t hesitate to ask teachers for clarification or join a study group with friends who understand the subject better.

Also, cut down distractions such as too much time on the phone or the use of social media when studying.

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