Obaa Yaa
Can l suggest to my cousin to marry this lady?
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I know a pretty lady, who is respectful, has unblemished character who l have admired all these years.
I have an elderly cousin, though of age and has been working more than six years without a wife, all appeals to him to marry have not been heeded.
Lately, he was summoned by the elders of the family on the same issue but he did not take the suggestion serious.
Aware that this pretty lady is without a husband, l would like to give his contact number to you through your editor so that you can have a chat with him and tell him of my suggestion.
I would be glad if you could try to find out from him what is preventing him from getting married.
I do not care if you mention my name to him that l have given out his telephone number so that you can call him. Of importance is the need to tell him about this lady who is dear to my heart.
You can suggest to him that he should heed the many calls from his family members and marry.
Kwame, Tema.
Dear Kwame,
You have demonstrated the love for your cousin and your desire that he should marry a lady who by your estimation is good and must, therefore, be married to your cousin.
Though you have taken the right step, it is sometimes difficult to make suggestions in this regard, because it is rather better for the individual to make his own choice. Should there be any problem in the marriage, you are the first person to be blamed for making a wrong choice.
On the contrary, if there is any fault with the person’s own selection, he will have himself to blame.
You can send his contact to me as you have suggested and l will try my best in this regard.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I visited my boyfriend at his office only to meet him and a young lady having a serious chat.
He politely introduced the lady to me as his workmate and also introduced me as a friend without telling the lady that I am his lover.
When he came home and I went over to spend the night, he seemed not to find any fault with what he did.
He was rather giving attitude and pretending as if I don’t even exist in his life.
I then told him I was not happy that he did not give me the proper acknowledgment as his lover.
Do you think he has something up his sleeve and did not want the lady he called workmate to know that we are lovers?
Greetings,
Araba, Mamobi.
Dear Araba,
FOR very good reasons, certain individuals would not want to publicise their love affairs. They believe love is a private matter and not for public consumption, and would prefer to run their relationships quietly.
Others also think that once they are not married and have not found the right person, there is no need introducing anyone until they are fully committed and envision a lifetime relationship.
So you cannot immediately judge the motive of your boyfriend for not introducing you appropriately, although it is also possible that he could have feelings for the other lady.
However, do not get worked up. Stay calm, and with time, the truth will become clear.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I HAVE been married for five years with three children. They are two boys and a girl.
Due to the economic situation prevailing in the country, I advised my wife to stop making babies. This is to enable us to cater for them and give them the best of education.
Unfortunately, my wife is not in agreement with the proposal but is bent on having two more children before she ends it.
As a result, she has stopped taking the family planning precautions and wants us to have unprotected sex.
I am contemplating going in for vasectomy which will make me unable to produce children but all the same enjoy our sex life.
My fear is that if my wife discovers that she is not getting pregnant, she may be tempted to cheat on me.
Please advise me.
Amevi, Ho.
Dear Amevi,
THE Bible says the two shall be one. In my opinion, one person cannot decide on the number of children to have.
There must be a mutual understanding between the two of you. You must be more communicative to agree on what will suit both of you.
You must be able to convince your wife that the economic situation is not favourable for more children. And you must make her know that until your (both of you) financial circumstances improve, more children will be a burden on the family.
If she insists on more children, then she must justify it with an increase in her income and her willingness to take up the extra burden.
If she cannot justify it, then you can go for your vasectomy and let her know. That way, I think she cannot cheat on you and bring you a pregnancy that belongs to another person.
