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7 things Easter story teaches about marriage, relationships

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• A good relationship involves a lot of forgiveness
• A good relationship involves a lot of forgiveness

This time of the year, we reflect quite a bit on the Easter story—the story of Christ’s betrayal, His sacrifice, His death, and ultimately, the Resur­rection that changed the course of history and mankind’s relationship with the Creator.

But what does this have to do with marriage or relationships?

If marriage or relationships were meant to reflect the image of God, then there is no better example than Christ, the living embodiment of God’s love.

Through His sacrifice, He showed that love for each other and even for Him was not enough.

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Here are seven things we can learn about marriage or relation­ships from Easter.

1. Betrayal can come from those we love and trust the most.

Jesus knew this all too well. Judas-one of the 12, the few in Jesus’ inner circle—betrayed Him by turning Him in to the chief priests.

Betrayal hurts. When it comes from someone we love and trust, it cuts all the deeper. And some of your deepest pain will likely come from your spouse or the person closest to you.

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No marriage or relationship is immune. But it is your response to the offense has to reflect the faith and trust we have in Christ.

2. We are not above betray­ing the ones we love

Peter was passionate about his relationship with Christ. When Jesus told Peter he would disown Him three times before the rooster crowed, Peter just could not fathom it. “Even if I must die with you, I will not deny you!” Peter told Him. Yet, before the night had ended, Peter “wept bitterly” after he de­nied His Savior not once, but three times (Matthew 26:34-75).

Matthew 26:41 tells us “The spirit indeed is willing. Sometimes it is unintentional, words often rush out before my brain can catch up. Other times, the words that cut deep leave your lips without fully assessing the damage they will cause. None of us are above hurting our spouse or friends, no matter how much we try.

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3. Others won’t believe your marriage/ relationship can be saved

As they gazed upon the suffering Christ, the chief priests mocked Him. “He saved others; he cannot save himself,” they said. “Let the Christ, the King of Israel, come down now from the cross that we may see and believe” (Mark 15:31- 32). The sad irony of their words is that because they refused to believe, they would never see their own salvation on that cross.

Most cultures are a brutal place to try to save a dying marriage. Not only do an increasing number of people not believe in the lasting power of marriage, many will gladly take a front seat to watch your marriage die. They will mock you and your spouse and say divorce is a better option.

Protect your relationship by sur­rounding yourself with people who encourage your marriage rather than dragging it down.

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4. Marriage/relationship takes sacrifice.

Jesus knew what was coming. He prayed in Gethsemane, “My father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will” (Matthew 26:39). Later, before He was nailed to the cross, “they offered him wine to drink, mixed with gall, but when he tasted it, he would not drink it” (Matthew 27:34). The wine concoction offered to Jesus was one typically offered to slightly ease the pain of those condemned to death. Jesus refused to numb even a fraction of the sac­rifice He was about to make.

It sometimes seems like a no-brainer that we would give our lives for our spouses. But what about in the day to day? Are you willing to sacrifice your comfort, your preferences, even being right for your spouse?

On a much smaller level, sac­rificing yourself for your spouse is putting their best interests above your own through a series of choic­es that can seem insignificant.

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5. Marriage/relationship takes forgiveness.

Jesus’ sacrifice guaranteed God’s forgiveness for those who love Him. Even through the pain of the cross, He called out on behalf of those who crucified Him. “Jesus said, ‘Fa­ther, forgive them, for they know not what they do’” (Luke 23:34).

Forgiveness is not just something we have been given, it is also some­thing we, as followers of Christ, are told to do. In Colossians, Paul says, “As the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive” (3:13). Your spouse is going to mess up. A lot. You are too, perhaps even more. A good marriage involves a lot of asking for, giving, and receiving forgiveness.

6. Marriage/relationship takes faith

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After the tomb was found empty, Jesus appeared to His disciples. Thomas was not there. And when the others told him they had seen the Lord, Thomas was skeptical.

“Unless I see in his hands the mark of the nails, and place my finger into the mark of the nails, and place my hand into his side, I will never believe.” A week later, Thomas found himself face-to-face with Jesus, who offered his hands to Thomas. “Do not disbelieve,” Jesus told him, “but believe” (John 20:24-29).

There have been times it was a struggle to find the good in your marriage or relationship. It was like trying to find a match in the dark­ness. Most at times you will not see things getting any better. Holding on when you want to let go takes faith. Even a little.

7. We all need a Saviour

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The apostle John recorded the last words Jesus spoke on the cross to be, “It is finished” (John 19:30). Finished was His atonement for our sins. No one else could have paid the heavy debt we carried but the Son of God.

Marriage/relationship is a bless­ing, but make no mistake, it is hard at times. You and your spouse can not do it on your own strength and determination.

Much like the criminal hanging next to Jesus who said, “Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom” (Luke 23:42), you need to recognise the need for a Savior. And much like the disciples who were standing before their risen Lord, you need Him to breathe life into you (and into your mar­riage) with the Holy Spirit (John 20:22).

Your spouse needs Jesus as much as you do—no more, no less. Re­membering this can help you view him or her differently. —familylife. com

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Relationship

How to Navigate Social Media Boundaries as a Couple

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Navigating social media boundaries as a couple can be tricky. With constant access to each other’s lives online, it’s essential to establish clear boundaries to maintain a healthy relationship. Here are practical tips to help couples manage social media use effectively.

1. Have an Open and Honest Conversation
The first step is to talk openly with your partner about social media usage and how it affects your relationship. Honest conversations may feel challenging, but they are essential for understanding each other’s perspectives and setting mutually acceptable boundaries.

2. Be Specific
When discussing boundaries, be clear about the behaviors that bother you and the limits you’d like to set. For example, instead of saying, “You spend too much time on social media,” try:
“I feel neglected when you are on your phone for extended periods during our conversations. Can we set a limit on phone usage during quality time together?”

3. Be Considerate
Consider and respect your partner’s viewpoint. Setting boundaries is not about controlling each other; it’s about creating balance and fostering trust in the relationship. The goal is to maintain connection without letting social media interfere with your bond.

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4. Agree on Social Media Etiquette
Social media etiquette guidelines can help couples define what is and isn’t acceptable online behavior. Discuss whether you will follow each other, what kinds of photos you’ll post, and how you will interact with others online. Clear guidelines help prevent misunderstandings and maintain respect.

5. Respect Each Other’s Privacy
Respecting privacy is crucial. Avoid snooping on your partner’s accounts, sharing personal information without consent, or posting photos or updates that may make them uncomfortable. Trust and respect form the foundation of a healthy digital relationship.

6. Don’t Use Social Media as a Measure of Your Relationship
Remember that social media often shows a curated “highlight reel” of other people’s relationships. Avoid comparing your relationship to these selective portrayals. Every relationship is unique, with its own challenges and successes. Focus on what makes your bond special rather than online comparisons.

Conclusion
Setting boundaries on social media is key to nurturing a healthy, happy relationship. Open communication, mutual respect, agreed-upon etiquette, and avoiding comparison with others online are all vital steps in maintaining intimacy and trust in the digital age.

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Source: Arkansas Relationship Counselling Centre

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Relationship

Vulnerability, Openness Strengthen Relationship Bond

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In the realm of romantic relationships, vulnerability and openness are often misconstrued as signs of weakness. However, research in psychology and relationship counselling suggests that embracing vulnerability can be a powerful catalyst for deepening emotional intimacy and strengthening bonds.

The Power of Vulnerability

Vulnerability involves sharing our innermost thoughts, feelings, and desires with our partner, making us susceptible to potential hurt or rejection. Yet, it is precisely this openness that allows us to build trust, foster empathy, and create a sense of safety in our relationships.

When couples prioritise vulnerability, they often experience a profound shift in their relationship dynamics. For instance, a couple I counselled, who were struggling to connect after a recent move, found that sharing their fears and anxieties with each other helped them rebuild their emotional intimacy. By being open about their struggles, they were able to support each other and strengthen their bond.

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Benefits of Vulnerability and Openness

  1. Deeper understanding: By sharing our thoughts and feelings, we gain a deeper understanding of ourselves and our partner.
  2. Increased empathy: When we are open about our struggles, our partner is more likely to respond with compassion and support.
  3. Resilience: Vulnerability helps us develop coping mechanisms and learn to navigate challenges together.
  4. Authentic connection: By being our authentic selves, we create a sense of mutual understanding and connection.

Cultivating Vulnerability in Relationships

So, how can we cultivate vulnerability in our relationships? Here are some practical tips:

  1. Start small: Begin by sharing your thoughts and feelings in low-stakes situations, like discussing a book or movie. As you become more comfortable, you can gradually share more personal aspects of yourself.
  2. Practice active listening: When your partner shares their vulnerabilities, respond with empathy and understanding. This helps create a safe space for open communication.
  3. Be present: Focus on the present moment and try to let go of distractions. This allows you to stay engaged and responsive to your partner’s needs.
  4. Show appreciation: Express gratitude for your partner’s vulnerability and celebrate their courage in sharing their thoughts and feelings.

In many successful relationships, couples have reported that regular “check-ins” or meaningful conversations help them stay connected and build a stronger bond. By prioritising vulnerability and openness, these couples are able to address life’s challenges together, fostering a deeper sense of connection and intimacy.

Vulnerability and openness are essential components of a healthy, fulfilling relationship. By embracing these qualities, we can build stronger, more resilient bonds with our partners. As we navigate the complexities of relationships, let us remember that vulnerability is not a weakness, but a strength that can bring us closer to ourselves and our loved ones.

To be continued…

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Source: Excerpts from “COURTSHIP MATTERS: Keys to a Fulfilling Lasting Marriage” by Rev. Counselor Prince Offei (Lecturer, Published Author, Mental Health Professional, and Marriage Counsellor).

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