Obaa Yaa
Will she change?
Dear Oba Yaa,
I have a child with a lady who is a teacher in one of the public institutions in Accra and we have been together for five years.
I love my girlfriend and I intend marrying her. But my worry is that I have never received a gift from her, not even on my birthday. She will remind me about a month to her own birthday so I get her a gift but when mine is due, I don’t even get a bar of chocolate.
She is always making demands but I get nothing in return. She will call me to send her as low as GH¢ 20.00 when our son needs money.
I sponsored her throughout her tertiary education until she graduated and got a job. I have plans of marrying her but judging from her current attitude, I am scared she would not be supportive when we get married. Should I go ahead, will she change?
Kobby, Adabraka.
Dear Kobby,
It seems your primary love language is receiving gifts. That is okay. But not receiving a gift from the lady you so much love is not enough grounds to call it quits. Draw her attention to the one-sided relationship when it comes to the exchange of gifts.
Discuss the essence of her lending support in the relationship and why she should not only be at the receiving end. Do not end it because you don’t receive anything on your birthday. But if your girlfriend has other negative attributes than positives which are unbearable, then you may advise yourself properly.
Obaa Yaa
I don’t like his dressing
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I live with my parents and my sister. She has a boyfriend who frequently comes to the house. I don’t have a problem with that but I’m concerned about the way he carries himself around the house anytime he visits.
He sometimes wears only a singlet and pair of shorts to our place. He doesn’t dress formally.
At times, he even removes his top and walks bare chested. He doesn’t feel shy at all exposing himself this way to his prospective in-laws.
Any visitor to our house seeing this guy around bare chested may form a bad opinion about us.
And to add salt to injury, my sister is not helping matters. In order to avoid any hostility, we have talked to my sister to find a way to talk to him but it is not working. How can we handle this?
Alodia, Accra.
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Dear Alodia,
IN my opinion, it is not out of place to tell your prospective in-law that the way he behaves around your home is not particularly to anybody’s liking.
You do not have to say this angrily, and in doing so, you must choose your words carefully.
On the other hand, your sister might also like this, but that is not the point.
The point is that you want a decent in-law and you might as well send signals about what your expectations are as far as your in-law is concerned.
Obaa Yaa
My mum sleeps with other men
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I lived with my mother and her actions bring a lot of embarrassment to my family, and I need your advice.
She is single and in my neighborhood, my mother is noted for sleeping around with men. What is more disgraceful is that she even sleeps with men younger than her in the neighbourhood.
Her attitude is really affecting me because I have always tried to be morally upright.
Could you imagine an occasion when I overheard some people mentioning the number of men my mother has slept with?
I have now become an object of mockery as I am the only child of my mother.
I am now confused, I feel like running away from home and never return. I will do this without informing her of where I intend going. I am 18 years and she is 38 years. Please help me out.
T.K, Bantama.
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Dear T.K
There is no point of running from the house without your mother knowing.
That would not solve the problem. This is the time that she needs you most because she may be frustrated.
Remember, she is your mother and you need to accord her that due respect.
Have a personal talk with her about what she is making you go through mentally and physically.
I believe that even if she needs a partner, she can go in for a responsible person. That can lead to marriage so that she’ll stop sleeping around.
You can also report her behaviour to your family head to talk to her.