Obaa Yaa
Val’s Day exposed my boyfriend
Dear Obaa Yaa,
MY boyfriend asked me to spend time with him because it was Valentine’s Day, which I did. We decided not to step out. I prepared some food which we enjoyed with some of his friends and younger brother who had also come to spend the weekend with him.
Later in the night, around 11pm he had a phone call which I received and woke him up. When he saw the person’s number, he immediately cut the line and switched off the phone.
Twenty minutes later, he switched it on and the call came again. Upon picking the call, I heard him tell the person that he was in Accra and not in Takoradi. This I found strange and questioned him when he came back to the room.
He later told me it was a friend whom he was owing some money. I later managed to secretly copy the number and called it the following day. I pretended I was his niece. Obaa Yaa, the lady told me that she was happy to talk to me even though we have not seen each other, and said she was the lover of my boyfriend, much to my surprise.
My man denied the claim of the girl and said he was going to beat her up, telling lies that she was not her lover. Should I forgive this guy or not because he ruined our Val’s Day?
Eyram, Ho.
Dear Eyram,
IF your boyfriend knows he is not up to any fishy game, then he must be at peace with himself. Obviously, he is getting worked up because of the sudden exposure of his double-game plan.
At any rate, there is no need to worry about him and the other girl. They can sort it out even if it is not true she is his lover. He is only putting up a bluff.
What you have to be sure about is if you still love him and think he can be faithful to you. If he cannot be faithful as evidence is showing, then better advice yourself. AIDS is still around, and unfaithful partners are good riddance.
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Dear Obaa Yaa,
I AM really disturbed about the new meaning of the word ‘Love’ in a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship (not in marriage). I feel love should not be based on sexual intercourse.
What do our men mean when they say to a woman ‘I love you’ and what is our women’s understanding of the response ‘I love you too’?
Personally, I have come to understand that most of the time when a man says he loves a woman, all he means and needs is sexual intercourse, and when a woman responds ‘I love you too,’ she also means marriage.
This small research can be confirmed by Walter Trobisch in his book entitled I Married You.
At this juncture, I would like you to use your column to find out from some of our men and women what they really mean when they say to each other ‘I love you.’
Yaa Baby, Takoradi.
Greetings
Dear Yaa Baby,
I MUST say you are quite right to say that the expression of ‘love’ is beginning to take a different meaning.
People seem to have a motive when they say ‘I love you’ to the opposite sex. It may be that they pretend to love just for sex, marriage, or money.
What this does is that the pledge ‘I love you’ leads more gullible partners to disappointment and hurt, while the deceitful partner may also, in the end, fall into their own trap.
So, with the widespread abuse of the phrase ‘I love you,’ men and women should not hasten to believe anyone who says it to them. Even after starting a relationship with their partners, they must continue to observe their actions to ensure the pledge is genuine, not just words.
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Dear Obaa Yaa,
I PROPOSED to a lady I have always admired during our university days. Interestingly, this woman was so much into me as well.
The only thing she always asks from a man is a gold chain, a new dress and sandals close to GH₵2,000.
According to her, if the man is able to get her all these items listed, then it is a win and yes for the man.
She demands these things because of the way a man treated her. Her argument is that if I should decide to end this relationship, she would have had something from me at least.
Obaa Yaa, is it worth venturing into?
Kelvin, Ofankor.
Dear Kelvin,
ANY love affair that is based on money or exchange of money for love or sex is an affair that begins on a wrong premise.
Such an affair is conditional and would encounter challenges sooner or later, because it is not grounded on mutual love and affection.
Besides, you are a student, how are you going to afford the gold chain? It looks as if this whole relationship would stress you. I will advise you to stay away from the lady.
Though you didn’t state your age in the letter, I plead with you to give yourself some time and relax. The beautiful one’s are not yet born.
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