Features
Stop milking the dead!
The famous President Nelson Mandela of South Africa once said, “Death is something inevitable. When a man has done what he considers to be his duty to his people and his country, he can rest in peace.” These are words from a man who surely knew his purpose in life. Nobody on this earth created by the Almighty God will live forever. At a point in time, you will be called to eternity to give an account of your stewardship on this earth. This, therefore, presupposes that when you are alive, you have to be righteous and committed to the Almighty God, the Creator and Maker of heaven and earth who our lives depend on.
TREATING THE DEAD WITH DIGNITY
The lexicon explains that death is an inevitable universal process that eventually occurs in all living organisms including humans and it generally applies to whole organisms such as cells and tissues. The overriding duty to treat the dead with dignity is by ensuring that the body of the dead person is well preserved in the mortuary, while preparations are made to provide a befitting burial to the deceased in a way that may not lead to serious life threatening conditions to the people.
KEEPING DEAD BODIES IN MORTUARIES FOR YEARS
In the Ghanaian setting, most of the dead bodies, especially traditional leaders and other influential personalities in the society are usually not buried for months and sometimes up to so many years by their families for inexplicable reasons. Sometimes, these dead bodies are kept in the morgue for a very long period with some families contemplating over who should be appointed as chief mourners or organisers to handle the funeral arrangements or due to disputes over when and where to bury the corpses. In most cases, these litigations finally end up in law courts with injunctions preventing families from moving their dead bodies from the mortuaries. Some elders will even go to the extent of ensuring that new buildings are put up to lay their deceased relatives. These unnecessary litigations over funeral and burial arrangements, often put financial burdens on the children of the deceased persons who have to move heaven and earth to raise the needed funds to pay for the mortuary fees. The inconveniences placed on their children are outrageous and unimaginable. The sad situation is that the families who are litigating over the funeral arrangements will never contribute a dime to support the children of the deceased
PERSONAL EXPERIENCE OF A RENOWNED JOURNALIST
This piece will not end properly without taking some extracts from the thoughts of the renowned veteran BBC journalist of high repute Madam Elizabeth Ohene about the era before the emergence of mortuary in our country. According to her, before mortuaries became popular in this country, we buried our dead bodies within two or three days and then set a date for the final funeral rites. Now the regular period in which dead body is kept in the mortuary before being buried ranges from three to six months. Ten months to a year is not unheard of. When you try to bury someone within a period that is regarded as “too early”, you are certain to invoke outrage, the veteran prolific writer concluded. She recounted her own experience involving the death of her 90-year- old mother who was buried after three weeks of her death and that was regarded in her village as sacrilege and lack of respect to their beloved mother and blamed the Ghanaian funeral madness on refrigeration saying, “Without fridges, we would not be able to keep bodies for ludicrously long period we currently do”. We need to shake ourselves from the brainwash of the white man and do things that will minimise cost and burden of handling the dead so that we can use our money wisely and judiciously. Indeed, there is dignity after death and we have to jealously and modestly protect the sanctity of the human remains.
parents.
LAVISH TREATMENT OF DEAD BODIES AND COST INVOLVED
This lavish treatment of some of these dead bodies by some families has given room for the handlers, both at the mortuaries and the cemeteries, to also charge exorbitantly to preserve the bodies well for a very long time in the fridge before their removal. The grave diggers also demand their share before covering the dead bodies properly. If you cannot afford, then your corpse will be put aside to rot. The fact is that our mortuaries and cemeteries have been turned into commercial entities by workers of these places who engage in dubious undercover deals at the expense of the dead and the bereaved families. Passing through the right channels in these places means you don’t want your deceased relatives to get the necessary attention. The sort of corrupt practices at our mortuaries and cemeteries, especially in our major towns and cities are, indeed, unbearable and disgraceful. The state is being denied huge sums of money through these illegal practices at the final resting places of the dead.
WORK OF MORTUARY ATTENDANTS
It is a fact that not everyone can work at our public mortuaries and those working in these places deserve some sort of recognition and better remuneration and other service conditions. However, because the state is
not providing them with that kind of support, they have, therefore, capitalised on the situation to do their own thing at the place and nobody can begrudge them for the back-door treatment. But some families are suffering due to their inability to pay for these illegal charges from these mortuary attendants. The problem can also be blamed on families who decide to keep their dead bodies for a very long time in our mortuaries while they litigate on the funeral arrangements. Their unnecessary actions of delaying their corpses in the morgue, have placed heavy burden on those who cannot afford these illegal charges. They have the means to pay anything through the back-door and don’t care what happens to anybody.
EMERGENCE OF COVID 19 AND HANDLING OF DEAD BODIES
With the emergence of the Corona Virus Disease in the country which had claimed the lives of innocent people and had brought miseries to many families, the thinking was that people would capitalise on the situation to bury their dead bodies in good time so that the funeral could be scheduled for a later date. However, the situation has rather worsened. As the disease rages on, people continue to keep their deceased relatives in the fridge for a very long time and that has not been a good sign at all. Ghanaians in general revere their dead persons. However, the way and manner we spend huge sums of money on funerals in this country is not healthy and uncalled for. The so-called ‘gbonyo’ party which runs from the day of the burial up to Sunday, the day of the thanksgiving and memorial service is something we need to take a second look at. Families and children of deceased persons without the means to organise such hilarious and lavish funerals often go and borrow money and eventually become debtors after the funeral. It will be of interest to know that when the person was sick or ill nobody offered the necessary funds to cater for his or her medical expenses, however, money can be raised to organise such glamorous funeral. It is a question of encouraging people to die so that people can be happy and rejoice?
Charles Neequaye
THE state of feeling rejected, could be a terrifying experience especially for those who have become used to fame. If not properly addressed, it could lead to depression and the consequences, could be disastrous.
When you are on top of your game in whatever profession you find yourself such that you become famous, a lot of people try to associate with you. The phone never ceases to ring and one is tempted to feel loved and very important.
When a disaster strikes and the fame or the money which was the source of the attraction fades away, the circle of friends and fans begin to shrink and the phone will start to stop ringing until the call stops voting completely.
You will be shocked at how people you considered friends, will no longer be calling you or pay casual visits as they used to. You will begin to notice that messages you leave after calling them and not getting a response are not replied to and that is when you begin to know who your true friends are.
One of the most popular movie stars was an actress called Sharon Stone. In an interview with one of the media houses that was published, she spoke about how people who should have come around to encourage her in her moment of depression, shunned her. The calls stopped coming.
This is what the Bible admonishes that the arm of flesh will fail you and therefore we should put our trust in God. It could be a very frightening experience and can easily lead to depression.
Human nature being what it is, people will want to get close if things are okay. Everybody wants to associate themselves with interesting things, famous people, rich people etc for mainly selfish reasons.
We need to develop the habit of putting our trust in God and relying less on human beings. The lesson we have to take along in life is that, no one marries his or her enemy so how come people who took vows that they will love each other become so hostile to each other that they want to go their separate ways in life? Such is the reality of life.
It is therefore prudent for people to recognise that, life is full of uncertainties and so there is the need to prepare your mind for uncertainties so that when they occur, they do not disorganise your mental sanity.
A lot of people have experienced situations where people who they could have sworn will never betray their trust have disappointed them when they were through challenging moments.
If there is one thing famous people should desire, it should be the ability to identify who are true friends are. Countless stories abound regarding incidence of celebrities who have lost their shine and their wives divorcing them soon after.
It is sometimes useful as a famous or rich person to sign a prenuptial agreement before marriage to safeguard or protect yourself from any future unpleasant surprises.
People can be very pretentious these days, it goes both ways. There is this real life story where a man married a divorced wealthy woman and convinced her to sell her house so they could build a new one together, with the excuse that people are gossiping that he is being housed by a woman.
The woman agreed and they put up a new building. After a few years the man asked for a divorce, only for the woman to realise that the land on which the building was situated, was bought in the man’s name.
This can drive a person insane, if you are not mentally tough and this happens to you. When people hear that you are homeless, a lot of your so-called friends will stop calling, so that you do not become a burden on them.
By Laud Kissi-Mensah
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‘But, er …. I don’t even know your name’.
‘Paul. Paul Allotey. I’m Sarah, by the way. Paul, why don’t you leave me here, since this is the last important thing I’m doing today’.
‘Okay. Now Sarah. I was just thinking. You will be here at the cafe for about an hour. By then it will be about twelve thirty. Then, you would be thinking of buying yourself some lunch, to eat here or to take home. So if you would please allow me, I will take you to one of the nicest eating places in town, and after you have sorted that one out, then I can drop you home. Just that one errand, then I won’t bother you again’.
‘You are not bothering me at all. You are being very kind to me. And I just realised you are a mind reader too. The last item on my agenda was lunch’.
‘I’m so glad I appeared at your doorstep, just in time’.
‘Okay. Now Paul, since you say the cafe is a comfortable place, let’s go in together, and you can do your work while I get my application done’.
‘Okay, Sarah. Thanks. Let’s go’.
We got back in the car at eleven forty-five.
‘So where are we going, Paul?’
‘To Royalty restaurant. It’s a twenty minute drive away’.
‘So, do you enjoy your job?’
‘Most certainly. I won’t change it, not even to be President. And am I right to say that you are preparing to enter the university?’
‘That’s my plan. I hope it works’.
‘It will, if you are determined, and disciplined. You look very much like a disciplined person’.
‘Thank you very much’.
We arrived at Royalty in twenty-five minutes, ‘You are joining me for lunch, Paul’.
‘Thanks for the honour, Sarah. But the bill is on me’.
‘Aren’t you taking on too much for one day?’
‘I never do anything that is bigger than me, Sarah’.
Over the next hour and a half, we discussed fashion, local and international politics, and sports, as we ate and relaxed. Finally, he drove me to the shop.
‘I will never forget you, Paul’.
‘I’m glad to have been helpful. But if you don’t mind, I’ll say it again, your husband is extremely lucky. You are really beautiful’.
‘Thanks again. But do you mind if I call you sometime in the future?’
‘Certainly not. Let me write it here. I will not ask for your number, for obvious reasons. But I will be looking forward to hearing from you. And hopefully, I will see you next month, when I call to drop your bill’.
‘Okay Paul. See you then’. What a lovely day, I said to myself as I opened the front door. I closed the shop and got home by seven. I went straight to the bedroom, stood in the mirror and took a good look at myself. ‘You are a very beautiful woman, Sarah. Never forget that’. I will not forget that, again.
Over the next several weeks, Martin and I had very little to do with each other. In the morning he ate his breakfast and after a shabby ‘I’m going’, he left. He came home around eight at the earliest, ate his dinner and, already soaked in beer, went off to sleep.
He spent the greater part of the weekends at the club house with his friends, playing tennis and partying. My mind was focused on furthering my education, so I didn’t complain to him, and didn’t bother to inform my parents about what was happening. I had decided that I would only take action if he lifted his hand against me again. I spent my free time reading all manner of interesting stuff on the internet, and chatting with my sister on WhatsApp.
One evening, he came home at about eight, rushed to the bedroom and rushed out. An envelope, obviously containing money, dropped out of his pocket, and I picked it up and followed him. I was going to call him and give it to him, but I noticed that there was a young woman in the car, so I went back in, counted it and put it in a drawer in the hall. He came back after some ten minutes.
‘Excuse me, I dropped an envelope containing money. You must have seen it’.
‘Yes, I saw it. Actually, I followed you, and was about to call you and hand it over to you when I realised that there was a woman in the car, so I came back in. I counted it. One thousand cedis.
‘Well let me have it. I have to be going’.
‘I will let you have it if you will tell me who the woman in the car is, and why you are going to give her that amount of money’.
‘Listen, if you waste my time, I will teach you a lesson you will never forget. Give me the money now!’
‘Here’s what we will do, Martin. I know you will give money to her anyway, so I will give it to you, if you will withdraw the threat you just issued. But I want you to know that I will be taking some steps from tomorrow. Things are getting out of hand’.
‘Okay, I’m sorry I threatened you. Can you please give me the money’. I handed it over to him, and he ran out’.
The following morning, I waited for him to finish having breakfast, and told him I wanted to have a word with him urgently.
‘You better be quick. You know I’m going to work’.
‘Well, I want to inform you that I will inform my parents, and your parents, about the situation in this house. As I said yesterday, things are getting out of hand. You spend most of your time drinking. You get drunk every evening, and through the weekend. And you are also spending your time and money on a prostitute’.
‘How dare you? One more stupid word from you …’
‘Am I lying, Martin? You have just started life, yet you are behaving like a rich, elderly man who has already seen his children through university, and can afford a life of fun. As I said, I’m going to inform our parents. Maybe your parents can straighten you out before it is too late’.
‘Look, we can talk this evening. It’s nothing like what you are saying’. He walked away, shocked.
That evening, I was expecting to have a meaningful discussion with him, but his mother called early in the evening to offer me some ‘advice’. Her son had called to say that certain developments at home were disturbing him so much that they were beginning to affect his work.
And, ‘as a loving mother to her daughter’, she was advising me to submit to my husband, and support him in prayer, and not ‘drive him from home’. Men would always be men, and she was telling me ‘from experience’ that no matter how much time Martin stayed away from home, he would always come home to me.
She had been a young wife before, so she understood the challenges I was facing. So I could be assured that if I followed her advice, all would be well. And, of course, she didn’t allow me to tell my side of the story.
Martin came home very late, and very drunk. And from the next morning, he carried on as before. With some hesitation, I called my dad and told him all that had gone on.
‘Well, my daughter. I’m not going to say “I told you so”. I was only trying to protect you. So here’s what we’ll do. Continue doing the best you can, and try not to give him any excuse to harm you, but if things continue to deteriorate, I will take you back.
A couple of days later, my cousin Dinah arrived in Accra from Brussels, having completed her medical course. With Martin’s agreement, I went to Koforidua and spent a couple of days. I spent most of the time chatting about her experiences in the US, but we also discussed my relationship with Martin, and she endorsed Dad’s decision to take action if Martin’s behaviour did not change after two weeks Elaine informed Mom and Dad. We endorsed Dad’s decision to take action if there was no change in two weeks.
Dinah returned with me to Takoradi. Her plan was to spend a couple of weeks, and return to Accra to be posted. I called Paul Allotey, and asked if he would meet her for lunch and, if possible, show her some interesting spots. Delighted, he suggested that we meet at Royalty the next day.
I told Martin about it, to remove any possibility of future disagreement over ‘going out with men’.
‘It’s fine with me’, he said, ‘if, of all the people who could show your sister round this town, you chose a borla man. Doesn’t that indicate the kind of person you are?’
‘ First of all, Martin’, I’ve spoken to him a few times, and he comes across as a decent guy, so I think it is rather unfortunate that you are writing him off when you don’t know him’.
By Ekow de Heer
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