Should l marry his friend?

Dear Obaa Yaa,

We have been married for two years and were happy from the beginning.

At that time, my happiness was the utmost desire of my husband but suddenly he began to disassociate himself from anything that concerns my happiness.

I am a pharmacist and my husband works at a reputable company.

Though my husband is very supportive and hardworking, his current behaviour has started to affect me greatly, and I am beginning to lose interest in him.

I met this new friend who has shown interest in me and does everything possible to make sure that I am always happy.

I am beginning to develop feelings and affections for him, and even considering to marry him so that I can achieve my happiness.

Should I go ahead and marry him or I should wait for my husband with the hope that he will change?

Roberta, Accra

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Dear Roberta,

There is no situation that is permanent in this world so you must be prepared to accept the fact that people can change over time.

Since your husband was very supportive, loving and caring from the beginning but has suddenly changed, you must be sincere to yourself and find out whether your behaviour has caused him to change.

Though your friend has been good to you and ensured that you are happy, that should not lead to marriage.

So far as you are still married to your husband, you will compound your problem if you go ahead and marry this gentleman.

First of all, it will destroy the relationship between the three of you.

What is the guarantee that the love this gentleman is expressing will last? Have you forgotten how your husband loved you at the beginning of your relationship?

Do not take any hasty decision because you can’t tell what will happen in future.

Your husband could change while this gentleman could be a pretender, an opportunist or something else.

A pretender will exhibit his true character when he gets what he is looking for.

Kindly hold onto what you have, no matter how bad it may look.

I don’t like his dressing

Dear Obaa Yaa,

I live with my parents and my sister. She has a boyfriend who frequently comes to the house. I don’t have a problem with that but I’m concerned about the way he carries himself around the house anytime he visits.

He sometimes wears only a singlet and pair of shorts to our place. He doesn’t dress formally.

At times, he even removes his top and walks bare chested. He doesn’t feel shy at all exposing himself this way to his prospective in-laws.

Any visitor to our house seeing this guy around bare chested may form a bad opinion about us.

And to add salt to injury, my sister is not helping matters. In order to avoid any hostility, we have talked to my sister to find a way to talk to him but it is not working. How can we handle this?

Alodia, Accra.

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Dear Alodia,

IN my opinion, it is not out of place to tell your prospective in-law that the way he behaves around your home is not particularly to anybody’s liking.

You do not have to say this angrily, and in doing so, you must choose your words carefully.

On the other hand, your sister might also like this, but that is not the point.

The point is that you want a decent in-law and you might as well send signals about what your expectations are as far as your in-law is concerned.

Obaa Yaa

My mum sleeps with other men

Dear Obaa Yaa,

I lived with my mother and her actions bring a lot of embarrassment to my family, and I need your advice.

She is single and in my neighborhood, my mother is noted for sleeping around with men. What is more disgraceful is that she even sleeps with men younger than her in the neighbourhood.

Her attitude is really affecting me because I have always tried to be morally upright.

Could you imagine an occasion when I overheard some people mentioning the number of men my mother has slept with?

I have now become an object of mockery as I am the only child of my mother.

I am now confused, I feel like running away from home and never return. I will do this without informing her of where I intend going. I am 18 years and she is 38 years. Please help me out.

T.K, Bantama.

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Dear T.K

There is no point of running from the house without your mother knowing.

That would not solve the problem. This is the time that she needs you most because she may be frustrated.

Remember, she is your mother and you need to accord her that due respect.

Have a personal talk with her about what she is making you go through mentally and physically.

I believe that even if she needs a partner, she can go in for a responsible person. That can lead to marriage so that she’ll stop sleeping around.

You can also report her behaviour to your family head to talk to her.