Obaa Yaa
Should I accept her back?
Dear Obaa Yaa,
We were lovers for a couple of years and things were moving on well for us, a condition which gave us much joy. Encouraged by how things went between us, we planned to seal our relationship with a memorable marriage.
Unfortunately, my lady, with reasons best known to her, became dissatisfied with me, her character suddenly changed towards me and shunned my company a few months ago.
After one year, she entered into another relationship and had a child.
The child is five years old and she has started calling my number frequently to find out how I am doing.
Though we sometimes exchanged pleasantries and talked for some period, I have been very careful not to be enticed by her in any way.
Surprisingly, she has been pleading that she wronged me, adding that I should take her back since she made a mistake by leaving me for another man who has neglected her eventually and got married.
My worry is that she won the hearts of my parents and they wished she was my wife, but they were disappointed at the decision she took.
Though she is out of my way, they occasionally mention her in their conversations, an indication that they still have her in mind. Should I accept her back?
Michael, Kaneshie-Accra.
Dear Michael,
Love strives on many things, including tolerance, perseverance, the willingness to forgive and fruitful conditions.
I am pretty sure your lover might have seen something good in the person who had lured and eventually won her love.
It is good she had the opportunity to study the two of you and has now inferred that you are better than the other man, hence her decision to plead for forgiveness that you take her back.
Do not be in hurry to make a hasty decision in this case since you could be making a mistake. You ought to take your time, seek the consent of your parents since she was in their good books before her abrupt decision to leave you.
Love has deeper meaning and various considerations which must be carefully employed. In view of this, you have to listen to your conscience and go by it.
My conviction is that having known each other very well will provide the mutual understanding which is necessary for your marriage to last.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a young gentleman who is 25 years of age. I have been dating a lady for the past three years and I have plans of taking her to the altar.
However, there is a problem that threatens the love and bond that exits between us.
Growing up, I have vouched not to engage in any sexual intercourse with my girlfriend. But she seems to have an issue with it.
According to her, my decision makes her feel I am not truly in love as I claim . I must say that I am confused about the situation and I don’t want to lose her because I love her so much.
Thomas, Wa.
Dear Thomas,
First of all, there is nothing wrong with your decision to abstain from sex before marriage. True love is not only proven through physical intimacy, but also through respect, patience, understanding and shared values.
If your girlfriend truly loves you, she should be willing to respect your convictions just as you respect her feelings. It is important for both of you to have an honest and calm conversation about your beliefs, expectations and future together.
Let her understand that your decision is not because you do not love her, but because you value both her and the relationship deeply.
At the same time, try to listen to her concerns without judging her. Relationships survive when couples communicate openly and support each other’s principles. Never feel pressured to do something against your values simply out of fear of losing someone.
A healthy relationship should not force one partner to compromise their morals.
If the two of you truly see a future together, then patience, trust and mutual respect will help strengthen your bond. Stay true to yourself while continuing to show her genuine love, care and commitment.
I wish you all the best.
My dad has threatened not to attend my wedding; instead, he has been raining curses on me.
Each morning and night, he would call and rain curses on me, telling me I was bringing shame and bad luck to my marriage because I told him, my step father will be present.
I have personally been to his house to invite him, yet he keeps telling me he can’t make it. What should I do?
Kwesi,
Suhum
Dear Kwesi,
Your dad’s curses, guilt, and threats come from his pain and fear of losing his role, but that doesn’t make his behaviour idle.
You can love him as your father and still set a firm boundary for him.
If he crosses that line, end the call or stop replying his messages. Protect your wedding and your peace by limiting contact, especially late at night and early morning, and stand by your partner.
Remember, respecting your dad doesn’t mean erasing the role your stepdad played – both can matter without problems.
Don’t let his behaviour dictate the start of your marriage. You can’t control if he comes around, but you can control not letting his anger affect your emotions.
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