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Obaa Yaa

She has refused to introduce me to her parents

 Dear Obaa Yaa,

I am very worried as my fiancé of four years has refused to intro ­duce me to his family.

I have tried so many times to go and see his parents but he says I should hold on.

He is insisting that we are not going to see them until we are ready for marriage.

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I don’t understand this idea of his because I feel it would be better to resolve whatever issues or challenges that may arise now instead of waiting for marriage.

I am having second thoughts about this relationship but I seri ­ously cannot afford to let go of four years on investment in time, energy and resources.

I have put so much in this relationship especially as we are nearing preparation for marriage.

I don’t know what to do next. Please I need your advice.

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Lordina,

Akosombo

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Dear Lordina,

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Your situation is a dicey one and needs to be handled with care. There’s is doubt that you have dedicated four good years of your time, energy, and resources and made a lot of sacrifices for this guy.

Four years is enough time for you to have met his family members, even if it is his mother.

The best thing for you to do at this point is to investigate hi s background and get to know his family members.

It may be that he is hiding something which he is not telling you.

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If all your efforts prove futile, it will be better for you to part ways with him though it might not be easy for you.

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Obaa Yaa

 I don’t like his dressing

 Dear Obaa Yaa,

I live with my parents and my sister. She has a boyfriend who frequently comes to the house. I don’t have a problem with that but I’m concerned about the way he carries himself around the house anytime he visits.

He sometimes wears only a singlet and pair of shorts to our place. He doesn’t dress formally.

At times, he even removes his top and walks bare chested. He doesn’t feel shy at all exposing himself this way to his prospective in-laws.

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Any visitor to our house seeing this guy around bare chested may form a bad opinion about us.

And to add salt to injury, my sis­ter is not helping matters. In order to avoid any hostility, we have talked to my sister to find a way to talk to him but it is not working. How can we handle this?

Alodia, Accra.

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Dear Alodia,

IN my opinion, it is not out of place to tell your prospective in-law that the way he behaves around your home is not particularly to anybody’s liking.

You do not have to say this angrily, and in doing so, you must choose your words carefully.

On the other hand, your sister might also like this, but that is not the point.

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The point is that you want a decent in-law and you might as well send sig­nals about what your expectations are as far as your in-law is concerned.

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Obaa Yaa

My mum sleeps with other men

Dear Obaa Yaa,

I lived with my mother and her actions bring a lot of embarrass­ment to my family, and I need your advice.

She is single and in my neigh­borhood, my mother is noted for sleeping around with men. What is more disgraceful is that she even sleeps with men younger than her in the neighbourhood.

Her attitude is really affecting me because I have always tried to be morally upright.

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Could you imagine an occasion when I overheard some people mentioning the number of men my mother has slept with?

I have now become an object of mockery as I am the only child of my mother.

I am now confused, I feel like running away from home and never return. I will do this without informing her of where I intend going. I am 18 years and she is 38 years. Please help me out.

T.K, Bantama.

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Dear T.K

There is no point of running from the house without your mother knowing.

That would not solve the problem. This is the time that she needs you most because she may be frustrated.

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Remember, she is your mother and you need to accord her that due respect.

Have a personal talk with her about what she is making you go through mentally and physically.

I believe that even if she needs a partner, she can go in for a re­sponsible person. That can lead to marriage so that she’ll stop sleep­ing around.

You can also report her be­haviour to your family head to talk to her.

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