Features
Resilience is a choice
The other day I saw a corn springing out of the overhead at Mallam at the end of George Walker Bush Highway in Accra. Whenever we see a plant or a wildflower pushing through a crack in concrete, we marvel at its determination to thrive. A seed landed in a difficult spot, but it had the tenacity to grow and bloom anyway.
We feel the same rush of admiration for trees that spring up after a devastating fire. When everything seemed ruined, somehow nature won, and life continued.
Many of us are like those determined seeds, those persistent trees. We’ve found ourselves in a difficult spot, or we’ve experienced a devastating tragedy: financial or health losses, death of loved ones, lost opportunities. Can we possibly grow and bloom in such conditions?
Religious leader, Dieter F. Uchtdorf, said, “It is your reaction to adversity, not the adversity itself that determines how your life’s story will develop”.
Our attitudes really can make all the difference. A woman who lost her restaurant during the pandemic immediately set up a takeout company. She made ends meet until she finally grew it into a catering business. She worked hard and refused to give up, and her determination paid off.
A couple also survived decades of overwhelming challenges. They joked that if they didn’t have bad luck, they’d have no luck at all! But through it all; health problems, heartache, even the loss of several children, they have shown traits of survivors. They tried to look for the positive in every situation. They thought about others more than themselves. They turned to God for peace and comfort. And they have learnt to serenely accept that there were certain things they simply could not change.
And we all know people whose early childhood seemed to have set them up for failure, yet they defied the odds and joyfully built a happy, successful life. In their adversities, they learned to forgive, to take responsibility for their own growth, and to be resilient. As the expression goes, instead of cursing the rain, they built a boat.
Among the many things we can’t choose about our life, we can always choose our goals, our work ethics, and our attitudes. Even setbacks, though we’d never choose them, can be blessings when they lead us to explore other avenues. Most of the time, we are grateful for the better jobs we landed after we were laid off, or the compassion we felt towards the grief-stricken after our own period of grieving.
Helen Keller is a remarkable example of someone who overcame the incredible disadvantages of being both blind and deaf. She did not only learned to sign and speak, she became a worldwide inspirational leader also. From her unique perspective, she observed, “Although the world is full of suffering, it is full also of the overcoming of it”
We all have our share of difficulty and tragedy in life. Some of us, in fact, seemed to have had more than our share. And then there are people who somehow, against all odds, survive multiple seemingly impossible situations.
Challenges happen for all kinds of reasons. Sometimes they are the consequences of our own actions. Other times we are the victims of the poor choices of others. But most of the time, heartaches and adversities come upon us randomly—accidents, illnesses, misfortune. No one is to blame; they just happen.
Regardless of their sources, such hardship can either make us bitter, or in some cases better. What makes the difference? Why do some people become angry and resentful after experiencing adversity, while others become more accepting, even forgiving? Of course, we can’t see the inside of other people’s hearts, or pass judgement on their life journey. But experts have observed that resilient people, “survivors,” share certain traits: they are optimistic, selfless, and spiritual, and they accept what can’t be changed.
In a sense, each of us is a survivor. We all have these traits inside of us to one degree or another. We may not know when the next challenge will come, but the best way to prepare to survive whatever life brings is to think positively, turn outward in selflessness, deepen our relationship with God, and learn to accept what can’t be changed. In other words, we can do our best to develop the traits of a survivor.
By Samuel Enos Eghan
Email: samueleghan@gmail.com
One of the issues we have been grappling with as a nation is corruption, and it has had such a devastating effect on our national development. I have been convinced that until morality becomes the foundation upon which our governance system is built, we can never go forward as a nation.
Our traditional practices, which have shaped our cultural beliefs, have always espoused values that have kept us along the straight and the narrow and have preserved our societies since ancient times.
These are values that frown on negative habits like stealing, cheating, greediness, selfishness, etc. Our grandparents have told us stories of societies where stealing was regarded as so shameful that offenders, when caught, have on a number of instances committed suicide.
In fact, my mother told me of a story where a man who was living in the same village as her mother (my grandmother), after having been caught stealing a neighbour’s cockerel, out of shame committed suicide on a mango tree. Those were the days that shameful acts were an abomination.
Tegare worship, a traditional spiritual worship during which the spirit possesses the Tegare Priest and begins to reveal secrets, was one of the means by which the society upheld African values in the days of my grandmother and the early childhood days of my mother.
Those were the days when the fear of being killed by Tegare prevented people from engaging in anti-social vices. These days, people sleeping with other people’s wives are not uncommon.
These wrongful behaviour was not countenanced at all by Tegare. One was likely going to lose his life on days that Tegare operates, and so unhealthy habits like coveting your neighbour’s wife was a taboo.
Stealing of other people’s farm produce, for instance, could mean certain death or incapacitation of the whole or part of the body in the full glare of everybody. People realised that there were consequences for wrongdoing, and this went a long way to motivate the society to adhere to right values.
Imagine a President being sworn into office and whoever administers the oath says, “Please say this after me: I, Mr. …., do solemnly swear by God, the spirits of my ancestors and the spirits ruling in Ghana, that should I engage in corrupt acts, may I and my family become crippled, may madness become entrenched in my family, may incurable sicknesses and diseases be my portion and that of my family, both immediate and extended.”
Can you imagine a situation where a few weeks afterwards the President goes to engage in corrupt acts and we hear of his sudden demise or incapacitation and confessing that he engaged in corrupt acts before passing or before the incapacitation—and the effect it will have on his successor? I believe we have to critically examine this option to curb corruption.
My grandmother gave me an eyewitness account of one such encounter where a woman died instantly after the Tegare Priest had revealed a wrong attitude she had displayed during the performance on one of the days scheduled for Tegare spirit manifestation.
According to her story, the Priest, after he had been possessed by the spirit, declared that for what the woman had done, he would not forgive her and that he would kill. Instantly, according to my grandmother, the lady fell down suddenly and she died—just like what happened to Ananias and his wife Sapphira in Acts Chapter 5.
NB: ‘CHANGE KOTOKA INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT TO KOFI BAAKO
By Laud Kissi-Mensah
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Emotional distortions can indeed have a profound impact on an individual’s mental health and well-being. These distortions can lead to a range of negative consequences, including anxiety, depression, and impaired relationships.
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Improved mental health outcomes: Emotional surgery can help individuals reduce symptoms of anxiety and depression.
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Increased self-awareness: Emotional surgery can help individuals develop a deeper understanding of themselves and their emotions.
A path towards healing
Emotional surgery offers a promising approach to addressing emotional distortions and promoting emotional well-being. By acknowledging the impact of emotional pain and seeking to provide a comprehensive and compassionate approach to healing, individuals can take the first step towards recovery and improved mental health.
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BY ROBERT EKOW GRIMMOND-THOMPSON
