How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.

I couldn’t figure out why the baseball kept getting larger. Then it hit me.

What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back? A stick.

What did the full glass say to the empty glass? You look drunk.

Justice is a dish best served cold. Otherwise, it’s just water.

What do call a criminal landing an airplane? Condescending.

Why should you never throw grandpa’s false teeth at a vehicle? You might denture car.

Why are Christmas trees bad at knitting? They always drop their needles.

What did the lunch box say to the refrigerator? Don’t hate me because I’m a little cooler.

Did you hear about the fragile myth? It was busted.

I can always tell when someone is lying. I can tell when they’re standing too.

Why did the egg hide? It was a little chicken.

A brown bear wandered into a hotel in Tibet and forced its way into a locked room with two guests inside.

Security camera footage from the hotel in Nagqu shows the bear wander down a hallway inside the building on Saturday and force its way through a door into an occupied room.

The guests in the room said they stared at the bear for a few seconds before it left the room on its own.

The hotel owner used a flashlight and other tools to scare the bear and chase it out of the building.The door has since been repaired and the hotel said it is adding additional security measures to keep bears out.