Obaa Yaa
Pressure of childlessness is disturbing me
We have been married over six years but we have not as yet been blessed with the fruit of the womb.
I have become a centre of ridicule by my in-laws from the eldest person to the youngest in the family and there seems to be no end to my plight.
My parents and the entire family have heard the barrage of insults for which some were incensed and demanding that l should quit the marriage in order to have my peace.
In the midst of all these challenges, it is surprising to note that a female relative of my husband is the only person who is against the unjustified attacks on me.
She has been supporting me with words of encouragement and has the firm belief that the situation will be better with time.
Since accusing fingers were pointed at me as the cause of our childlessness, I was compelled to conduct tests at different hospitals and the reports had revealed that there was nothing wrong with me.
Unfortunately, my husband has refused to go to the hospital to undergo any of the tests l had been subjected to.
My fear is that the years are running out and if care is not taken, l may possibly not take seed provided the situation remains the same.
The anger in my parents and relatives could possibly make me leave the marriage. Will l be right if l take this action?
Patience- Accra.
Dear Patience,
I want to believe that you are both eager to have babies just as his relatives are mounting pressure on you to the annoyance of your family.
Modern medical researches and discoveries have made seemingly difficult problems to become easy to deal with, thereby bringing joy to many couples.
Since the tests conducted have proved positive, the next thing you should do as a wife is to compel your husband to go to the hospital for a thorough medical examination to be conducted on him.
You have to convince him that it takes two to make babies, therefore, he should complement your efforts in trying to unravel the problem of childlessness you have as a couple. You should let him understand that only the two of you should work hard in resolving the problem
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I took off my wedding rings but could not find it again. I was washing when I took them off and placed them on a wall close to me. Honestly, after washing I forgot to pick them up until the evening, when my husband asked where my ring were, I quickly dashed out of the room to check where I had placed them, but they were not there. My husband made it clear that I was cheating that was why I could take my rings off and lose them.
I was packing to leave the house when the bags fell and I heard a tinkling sound of metals instead of plastic. I looked around the floor, and my rings were lying there.
Who took the rings and kept them there and why would the person do that to me just to shake the foundation of my marriage?
Oye, Tabora.
Dear Oye,
Your husband’s reaction was abusive, not just angry. Accusing you of cheating was just mean.
Rings don’t prove fidelity, trust does. Your response was fair: taking rings off to wash is normal, and cheating has nothing to do with it.
The fact that the rings ‘mysteriously’ ended up in your bags suggests someone moved them deliberately to cause conflict. A partner who jumps to punishment instead of problem-solving will do it again when the next misunderstanding happens.
If indeed your husband threatened and pushed you out, kindly talk to someone you trust in the family or a counsellor before moving back in. If you choose to stay, your husband needs to apologise and let peace to reign.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
My life started falling apart the very day I got married. I started experiencing a series of unfortunate events, which nearly broke me.
In the first year into our marriage, I lost a very lucrative job when my wife was pregnant.
I was scheduled for an interview at the Korle-Bu Teaching Hospital.
Immediately I got down from a taxi, out of nowhere, a motorbike at full speed knocked me down. I broke my leg and was admitted to the hospital for three months.
I lost the opportunity for the breakthrough. Since then, things have become difficult for my family. Is my problem spiritual or what?
Mawuli, Keta.
Dear Mawuli,
Stop linking your hardships to your wedding. Job loss, accidents, and unemployment are painful situations but that doesn’t mean your marriage is cursed.
In life, there are misfortunes and I urge you to continue to pray hard and wait upon the lord.
Focus on what you can control right now: your health, your finances, and your mental health.
Focus on your leg, take any work to build momentum, and consider therapy to break the “everything is a spiritual attack” cycle. Talk honestly with your wife; you two are a team, not the problem.
