Pressure of childlessness is disturbing me

We have been married over six years but we have not as yet been blessed with the fruit of the womb.

I have become a centre of ridicule by my in-laws from the eldest person to the youngest in the family and there seems to be no end to my plight.

My parents and the entire family have heard the barrage of insults for which some were incensed and demanding that l should quit the marriage in order to have my peace.

In the midst of all these challenges, it is surprising to note that a female relative of my husband is the only person who is against the unjustified attacks on me.

She has been supporting me with words of encouragement and has the firm belief that the situation will be better with time.

Since accusing fingers were pointed at me as the cause of our childlessness, I was compelled to conduct tests at different hospitals and the reports had revealed that there was nothing wrong with me.

Unfortunately, my husband has refused to go to the hospital to undergo any of the tests l had been subjected to.

My fear is that the years are running out and if care is not taken, l may possibly not take seed provided the situation remains the same.

The anger in my parents and relatives could possibly make me leave the marriage. Will l be right if l take this action?

Patience- Accra.

Dear Patience,

I want to believe that you are both eager to have babies just as his relatives are mounting pressure on you to the annoyance of your family.

Modern medical researches and discoveries have made seemingly difficult problems to become easy to deal with, thereby bringing joy to many couples.

Since the tests conducted have proved positive, the next thing you should do as a wife is to compel your husband to go to the hospital for a thorough medical examination to be conducted on him.

You have to convince him that it takes two to make babies, therefore, he should complement your efforts in trying to unravel the problem of childlessness you have as a couple.

You should let him understand that only the two of you should work hard in resolving the problem.

Let’s protect the girl child

Dear Obaa Yaa,

I am a mother whose children are all girls. I am having sleepless nights over cases of little girls being defiled lately.

I wished to give birth to boys because my parents gave birth to only girls.

I am getting worried with the way the girl child is taken advantage of by unscrupulous men and it appears these men are going unpunished.

What can I do to protect my children? We must begin to see actions geared at saving the girl child.

Araba,

Takoradi.

Dear Araba,

YOU must begin to have very frank talk with your little girls. Tell them about sex, and tell them it is wrong for little girls to engage in it.

Tell them that it is wrong for anyone, most especially strangers, to touch or fondle their private parts and should not hesitate to report such cases.

With the children who are too young to speak properly (below three years), make it a point to bath them yourself either in the morning or evening and observe their private parts to make sure are well.

Do not leave them in the company of boys or men for long periods without checking on them.

Obaa Yaa

My mum wants me to end my relationship

Dear Obaa Yaa,

I am a 26 year old driver, and she is 24 and an apprentice seamstress. We have known each other for three years.

I was having launch when my girl entered with another man but she didn’t see me.

When I asked who the man was, she said he was from her hometown and was invited by him for a drink. I just slapped her and she left.

Obaa, I had seen this man with my girlfriend another night and when I questioned them, he tried to fight.

I slapped him and he went to the police station to report that someone had assaulted him and stolen his necklace, watch and an amount of money.

The matter got to my mother and I was asked to pay Gh¢8,000 for assault.

My mother says, I should break up with the girl but I love her and can’t do that. What should I do?

Efe, Mallam.

*****

Dear Isaac,

Your girlfriend needs to be talked to instead of slaps. Let her understand that you felt threatened by the man who is not a mutual friend to the two of you.

You must explain to her that even though this man is from her town, she should have introduced him to you and also make an effort not to be with him at places and times that arouse suspicion.

This would be the first part of saving your relationship. The second part is that you need to control your temper as violence would always land you in trouble.

Finally you need to reassure your mother that you would never act the way you did again.