Obaa Yaa
Never again in my life
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I took life easy from the beginning and things were moving on well for which reason I was happy.
I was always in the company of my friends, and we did things that pleased us and considered them as one of the best options in the world.
Nobody mattered to us and we did not hesitate to decline the pieces of advice given to us over the period.
To the best of our knowledge, we knew more than those who claimed to advise us on how best we should conduct our lives.
A few months after I had started moving with Frank, I discovered to my surprise that I was pregnant.
Since I was not prepared for pregnancy and its related problems at that time, my fervent prayer was to see my menses flow to gladen my heart, but that did not happen.
I was, therefore, compelled to carry the unwanted pregnancy and was eventually delivered of a baby boy without the support of my lover who had earlier showered loving words and a few gifts on me.
Having gone through this condition single- handedly without any support from him, what should I do?
Should I revenge in any way conceivable or should I report to the Domestic Violence and Victim Support Unit (DOVVSU)?
Maame, Accra.
Dear Maame,
You have done well by laying bare the facts in your narration.
Having read through your letter, I am tempted to say that you are your own teacher and have taken useful lesson from the problem you have gone through.
Let this be your guide through life and do not hesitate to admonish the youth whenever you get the least opportunity.
Try to contact the parents of your lover and force them to live up to their parental responsibilities. This man should not shirk his responsibilities only for the child to grow and he will come forward to claim him.
Obaa Yaa
I don’t like his dressing
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I live with my parents and my sister. She has a boyfriend who frequently comes to the house. I don’t have a problem with that but I’m concerned about the way he carries himself around the house anytime he visits.
He sometimes wears only a singlet and pair of shorts to our place. He doesn’t dress formally.
At times, he even removes his top and walks bare chested. He doesn’t feel shy at all exposing himself this way to his prospective in-laws.
Any visitor to our house seeing this guy around bare chested may form a bad opinion about us.
And to add salt to injury, my sister is not helping matters. In order to avoid any hostility, we have talked to my sister to find a way to talk to him but it is not working. How can we handle this?
Alodia, Accra.
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Dear Alodia,
IN my opinion, it is not out of place to tell your prospective in-law that the way he behaves around your home is not particularly to anybody’s liking.
You do not have to say this angrily, and in doing so, you must choose your words carefully.
On the other hand, your sister might also like this, but that is not the point.
The point is that you want a decent in-law and you might as well send signals about what your expectations are as far as your in-law is concerned.
Obaa Yaa
My mum sleeps with other men
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I lived with my mother and her actions bring a lot of embarrassment to my family, and I need your advice.
She is single and in my neighborhood, my mother is noted for sleeping around with men. What is more disgraceful is that she even sleeps with men younger than her in the neighbourhood.
Her attitude is really affecting me because I have always tried to be morally upright.
Could you imagine an occasion when I overheard some people mentioning the number of men my mother has slept with?
I have now become an object of mockery as I am the only child of my mother.
I am now confused, I feel like running away from home and never return. I will do this without informing her of where I intend going. I am 18 years and she is 38 years. Please help me out.
T.K, Bantama.
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Dear T.K
There is no point of running from the house without your mother knowing.
That would not solve the problem. This is the time that she needs you most because she may be frustrated.
Remember, she is your mother and you need to accord her that due respect.
Have a personal talk with her about what she is making you go through mentally and physically.
I believe that even if she needs a partner, she can go in for a responsible person. That can lead to marriage so that she’ll stop sleeping around.
You can also report her behaviour to your family head to talk to her.
