Obaa Yaa
My boyfriend loves another girl
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a girl of 17 years and in love with a 22- year- old boy. We have planned to marry in future.
Unfortunately, my dear one is in love with another lady who is a talkative person and responsible for every misunderstanding in the community. This lady is known for causing a stir in the area and has succeeded in bringing problems among families.
On many occasions, my lover had praised people who were frank to express their feelings and on the other hand said l was too quiet for his liking.
Though we move on very well, l have realised that he loves the other lady more than he loves me and from all indications he is likely to marry her instead of me.
I love him so much and l would like to be his wife. What can l do to win his love? I cannot stay without him.
Maame Esi,
Accra.
Dear Maame Esi,
Your letter contains a lot of information and warnings from which one can easily draw useful lessons.
In the first instance, you are too young to be saddled with marital issues. What you ought to do now is to concentrate on your education, try to secure a firm ground, attain the required age before you marry.
Your lover has informed you about the type of lady he loves. His revelation that you are too quiet for his liking is a clear signal that you are not in his good books and he could easily leave you for the other lady.
Irrespective of the fact that you have planned to marry and you still love him, you must get yourself ready for any eventualities.
Couple who love each other no matter their differences can stay together for a long time. However, where there are differences at the beginning of the relationship and preferences are made, then one must be careful and take a wise decision at the right time.
Though you love him and are prepared to marry him, he does not reciprocate the same measure of love for you, therefore, you cannot force him to love you. Don’t worry if he decides to end the relationship.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
My marriage is falling apart because I spent more than an hour at the market, and I honestly do not know what to do anymore.
Anytime I visit the market, my husband gives me only one hour to return home regardless of wherever I have gotten to.
This has brought disagreement between my husband and I .What started as a disagreement between my husband and I has now become a family affair.
I never imagined that a simple trip to the market would lead to such a painful situation in my marriage.
He has told me to pack from our matrimonial home until further notice.
Baaba, Apam
Dear Baaba,
Do not allow family pressure to determine the future of your marriage.
Your husband’s family may genuinely want peace, but their desire to restore the marriage should not take priority over your emotional well-being.
Marriage reconciliation should not be about getting a woman back to her husband’s house at all costs.
You can respect your husband’s family without allowing them to dictate your decision.
On a more serious note, your husband should acknowledge the harm caused by his actions and apologise sincerely if he wrongfully sent you away. However, an apology alone is not enough to repair a marriage.
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Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a young lady of 27 years, living in a single room at Lapaz. I have stayed there for three years and I always pay my rent on time.
Last month, my landlord called me and said he had doubled the rent c from GH₵600 to GH₵1,200.
He says everything had increased so I must pay double or leave by the end of this month. I don’t have anywhere to go and I don’t have that amount. When I tried to beg him, he said if I don’t pay, he will lock my room.
Please advise me, what should I do? I am stressed.
Worried tenant.
Dear worried tenant,
I don’t know why your landlord is acting this way. He cannot just lock your room or eject you like that. In Ghana, the Rent Act mandates a landlord to give proper written notice and go through the Rent Control Department. Locking your room or throwing your things out is illegal.
You can explain to him that you cannot afford 100% at once. Propose something you can afford, maybe ask for time to adjust.
Go to the Rent Control office near you (with your old receipt and any message from your landlord). They will invite him and help you both agree on a fair increment. Usually, an increment should be reasonable, not 100% overnight.
While Rent Control is handling it, quietly start looking at other options, just in case he insists on not renewing your rent after your current rent expires.
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