Obaa Yaa
Never again in my life
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I took life easy from the beginning and things were moving on well for which reason I was happy.
I was always in the company of my friends, and we did things that pleased us and considered them as one of the best options in the world.
Nobody mattered to us and we did not hesitate to decline the pieces of advice given to us over the period.
To the best of our knowledge, we knew more than those who claimed to advise us on how best we should conduct our lives.
A few months after I had started moving with Frank, I discovered to my surprise that I was pregnant.
Since I was not prepared for pregnancy and its related problems at that time, my fervent prayer was to see my menses flow to gladen my heart, but that did not happen.
I was, therefore, compelled to carry the unwanted pregnancy and was eventually delivered of a baby boy without the support of my lover who had earlier showered loving words and a few gifts on me.
Having gone through this condition single- handedly without any support from him, what should I do?
Should I revenge in any way conceivable or should I report to the Domestic Violence and Victim Support Unit (DOVVSU)?
Maame, Accra.
Dear Maame,
You have done well by laying bare the facts in your narration.
Having read through your letter, I am tempted to say that you are your own teacher and have taken useful lesson from the problem you have gone through.
Let this be your guide through life and do not hesitate to admonish the youth whenever you get the least opportunity.
Try to contact the parents of your lover and force them to live up to their parental responsibilities. This man should not shirk his responsibilities only for the child to grow and he will come forward to claim him.
Six months after marriage, I realised my wife had cheated twice. One happened months before marriage and the other happened just two months after marriage. We dated for four years before we got married.
She had saved the name on her phone as Chairman. The conversation between them didn’t happen every day but once they talked, everything was about sex. My wife encouraged every word and even made suggestions as to where to meet.
I want to meet ‘Chairman,’ is it a good or a bad idea?
Yoofi, Takoradi.
Dear Yoofi,
What you have discovered is deeply painful, especially after investing four years of dating and entering marriage with trust, love and commitment. Betrayal in marriage is not only about the physical act, but also the emotional damage, secrecy and broken trust that come with it.
At this point, it is important not to make decisions purely out of anger or revenge. You need clarity, honest and calm conversations. Your wife must first be willing to tell the whole truth and take responsibility for her actions without excuses.
However, before deciding whether to stay or leave, ask yourself some important questions. Is she willing to cut ties completely with this man? Is she ready to rebuild trust through openness and accountability? And most importantly, do you still see a future with her despite the hurt?
Healing from infidelity takes time, patience and sometimes professional counselling. Do not suffer in silence. Speak to a trusted counsellor, pastor or matured family person who can guide both of you wisely.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am 28 years old guy who has been posted as a trained teacher in one of the rural areas in the Central Region.
I didn’t move in with my family because of the nature of my wife’s job.
About two months ago, I befriended one of the students who run errands for me. One thing led to the other and mistakenly had my way with her.
After two weeks, the girl came to tell me that she was pregnant and that I should give her money to terminate the pregnancy because if her parents get to know of it, they would cause my arrest.
This got me disturbed because I might lose [u1] my job.
Upon a second thought, I discussed this with a friend and she told me it might be a plan to extort money from me.
I personally texted her not to terminate the pregnancy but interestingly, I received a response that she has seen her monthly flow.
In fact, I became convinced about what my colleague told me. I want to end the relationship, what should I tell her and what should be my response when my wife hears of it.
Obaa Yaa, please I need an urgent advice.
David, Tema.
Dear David,
Your case is a very simple one. You are even lucky your friend who is much acquainted with the chicanery of the local girls fortunately hinted you and the girl has confirmed it all.
You better quit that relationship and avoid her because she thinks about following you home.
If you haven’t told her you are married, please tell her now.
