Obaa Yaa
My mother and sister do not like my sweetheart
Dear Obaa Yaa,
We were mates and good friends in the university and continued to maintain this cordial relationship till date.
Having expressed mutual love and care for each other in all aspects of our lives, we have decided to seal our love in marriage.
Thank God l had procured a good job, one of the preconditions for a successful marriage, and we have disclosed our marriage plans to our parents and all those who matter.
Unfortunately, l have lost my father, but my mother and my sister have opposed my decision to marry the lady of my heart.
They have not disclosed to me the reason for their disagreement, but l strongly believe it could be due to a long-standing misunderstanding on tribal lines.
l have gone a step further to convince my mother to develop a positive mind about people from this particular tribe, but my efforts had not yielding results.
l believe the situation would have been different if my father were alive.
What step should l take to make them agree?
Frank, Accra.
Dear Frank,
The misunderstanding surrounding your marriage is not an isolated case because it had bedeviled many marriages and would continue to persist.
The advantage you have in this case is the fact that your mother and sister have not identified any shortcoming on the part of your fiancée , which would have automatically rendered her unsuitable for marriage.
You must intensify your efforts in trying to convince your mother in particular not to depend on long-standing tribal problems to derail your plans in marriage. l think if your mother is convinced, your sister will also change her mind.
Additionally, you can seek the assistance of your uncles to intervene and talk with your mother if things are still getting out of hand.
Such entrenched positions on tribal lines are fast giving way to modern way of thinking.
l wish you well.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I wrote sometime back in 2024 to discuss an ordeal I went through. I contracted a sexually transmitted disease (STD) when I was doing my national service. Initially, I thought it was a normal sickness, so I visited a nearby hospital for treatment. I still feel itching and pains in my manhood.
I began to worry about the whole situation. I wrote to you and you directed me to see a specialist. The doctor did what he could, but the disease still persists. I have also gone through a lab test which shows that there is nothing wrong with me. A few doctors and pharmacists I contacted claim it could be psychological.
There is a sore at the tip of my male organ, and I am disturbed. Not only do I find it difficult to urinate, but it gives me continual sharp waste pain. Currently, I’m not only going through serious physical pains but psychological, because I cannot concentrate on my job for five minutes. I have also been praying and fasting. Can this be spiritual?
Mawuli, Keta
Dear Mawuli,
I hope you are doing well. I will advise you to take your medication regularly. There is still hope for your situation. See a urologist at the Korle-Bu Teaching Hospital for assistance.
I cannot say if your condition is spiritual or not. However, do not stop praying to God. Your miracle may just be on the way.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I’m a lady in my late 30s who wants to give love a second chance, despite all the pain and scars love has caused me.
Tony was just a new staff my company recruited to work in my department. We became friends, and our friendship became stronger when we realised we were both of the same tribe. We fell madly in love, and dating each other was the best option. I got pregnant and less than a month later, we did our traditional wedding and later signed in court.
I found out that my husband, Tony, had a wife and a child in the United Kingdom (UK) when I was eight months pregnant and five months married. What should I do?
Patricia, North Kaneshie
My dear Patricia,
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. It takes a lot of courage to open up about your pain. It sounds like you’ve been through a really tough experience with Tony.
First, let’s acknowledge your strength and resilience. You’ve been through a lot, and you’re still standing. That says a lot about your character.
It sounds like Tony presented himself as a good man, and you believed him. You connected well and he seemed to have good family values, but it turns out he was hiding a big secret.
My advice to you is to take time to process your emotions. It’s okay to feel angry, hurt, and confused, but allow yourself to grieve the loss of the relationship and the future you thought you had.
You might want to consider seeking support from loved ones, a therapist, or a support group. Talking through your feelings can really help.
In terms of the next steps, you may consider getting legal advice to understand your rights and options. As a pregnant woman, you have certain rights, and it’s essential to prioritise your well-being and the baby’s well-being.
