Decades ago, researchers measured the effects of diet on the heart health of rabbits. Not surprisingly, rabbits that were fed fatty foods developed cholesterol problems. But something else was surprising—one group of rabbits had significantly better health outcomes. They had eaten the same foods as the other rabbits, but they had been cared for by a particular researcher—one who happened to be “an unusually kind and caring individual.” She didn’t just feed the rabbits. “She talked to them, cuddled and petted them.” She didn’t know she was altering the results—she was just being herself.

Suddenly this wasn’t just an experiment about genetics and diet. These researchers were learning that relationships matter too. A recent book titled The Rabbit Effect cites these findings and concludes, “Ultimately, what affects our health in the most meaningful ways has … much to do with how we treat one another, how we live, and how we think about what it means to be human.”

In other words, “the rabbit effect” could just as easily be called “the human effect.”

So many seem so angry as they interact with others—online and in person. Some are raging inside at the outside world, annoyed and impatient with people around them as well as themselves. Even many who aren’t openly hostile have simply become cold, distant, and impersonal. And we wonder why general health and happiness suffer, why peace and calm are so elusive.

Humans, perhaps even more than rabbits, need kindness and caring, affection and love in order to thrive. No one can flourish in an atmosphere of contention and animosity. When we are kind—even if others don’t return the favour—we carry a healthy inner peace, knowing we have generated light instead of heat. When we sincerely care for and about others, we spread compassion and helpfulness more freely throughout the world. And in the process, we create a healthier, happier environment for everyone.

This will always be a world of differing opinions. Like a brook that bubbles over rocks and obstructions, we frequently bump up against those who disagree with us. Learning how to deal with such obstacles is essential to happy living. Sometimes we navigate around them, proceeding on our way. Other times we find ourselves swirling in an eddy, unable to go forward or worse, immobile and stagnant.

Some say that discord is inevitable, simply a part of life. But engaging in contention never yields a positive outcome. Rather, it distracts us from our goals, robs us of contentment and peace, and can even destroy relationships. No one ever wins a quarrel; both sides ultimately lose.
There are times when we want to persuade someone to see things our way. And if we can do so with kindness and respect, we have a chance. But arguing does not convince others of our position; it only convinces them of our disposition.
Do we sometimes value skillful debating over sensitive peacemaking? Perhaps we should be more like the schoolteacher who gave extra credit to students who could mediate a disagreement and get classmates to calm down and see the other side of things. Or like the couple who found that when they wrote down their feelings before sharing them, they were able to see how hurtful some of their comments were and revised them to be more loving. 
Disagreements and differences are inevitable, but they don’t have to lead to contention or anger. We can choose to listen with our hearts, respond with respect, and turn down the heat when we sense tensions rising. By considering the feelings and perspectives of others, we can avoid the pride that turns our loved ones and associates into our opponents. Then, if we disagree with them, we can do so with love and respect, not hostility and contention. It’s not worth engaging in battle. We find a greater measure of peace and joy when we put compassion before contention and people before opinions.

If cuddling a rabbit can lower its cholesterol, imagine what can happen if we look around and reach out in simple, loving ways to people around us. That’s the power of human kindness.

By Samuel Enos Eghan