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Is anything wrong with single parenting?

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Single Mother Pix

The various English dictionaries define Single Parenting as a parent, either father or mother alone, practising and taking responsibility of nurturing children in the absence of another parent.  The common causes of single parenting, are divorce, death, underage or early pregnancy, single parent adoption, donor insemination among few others.

Becoming a single parent, is not anything one would have wished or expected in life because the Holy Bible itself talks about dignity in marriage, saying, “At the heart of God’s design for marriage is companionship and intimacy.  The biblical picture of marriage, expands into something much broader with the husband and wife relationship, illustrating the relationship between Christ and the Church”.

WHAT THE BIBLE SAYS ABOUT MARRIAGE

The Bible says in Proverbs 3: 3-4 that, “Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart.  Then, you will win favour and good name in the sight of God and man”.  Romans Chapter 12 verse 10, says, “Be devoted to one another in love.  Honour one another above yourself”.

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In effect, marriage is the beginning of the family and is a life-long commitment.  It provides an opportunity to grow in selflessness as you serve your wife and children.  Marriage is more than a physical union; it is again a spiritual and emotional union.  This union mirrors the one between God and His Church.  The three gifts in marriage are companionship, passion and purpose.

THE ESSENCE OF MARRIAGE

The question people are often compelled to ask in their minds is: Why did God establish marriage?  The answer is quite simple.  First of all, marriage is a partnership. In Genesis 2: 18, God said, “It is not good for the man (Adam) to be alone, I will make a helper suitable for him”.  Sometimes we say, ‘in terms of my life, marrying my man or woman was the greatest thing that ever happened to me”.  The second thing is that, marriage is for procreation.

I have decided to take my readers and patrons to the realms of the spiritual world to portray how it is necessary and important to come together as husband and wife as ordained by the Almighty God in the scriptures and why single parenting is a difficult issue to handle in life, even though most of the time, it will not be the cause of people involved.

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THE SPECTATOR STORY ABOUT SINGLE MOTHERS

This important topic was as a result of a news article with the headline, “Single mothers have morals, don’t mock them” which was nicely crafted and structured by Dzifa Tetteh Tay, the Tema Regional Correspondent of the New Times Corporation (NTC), in the September 24, 2022, issue of The Spectator Weekend Newspaper.  The topic was so interesting that I decided to take a holistic approach to single parenting and what it entails in marital life.  For the benefit of those who have not read that news item and also to refresh the minds of my cherished readers and patrons, I will attempt to summarise that piece published in The Spectator.

That story reads in part, “There is a misconception out there that women who are single mothers have questionable moral virtues.  As a result of this, there are many families who would not encourage their sons to marry such women or even permit their daughters to associate with them.  Sadly, some religious institutions even discriminate against them especially those who had children out of wedlock, tagging them as unworthy, irresponsible or bad mothers”.  This is a matter of concern to Mrs. Josephine Alai, the founder of Single Parenting With Purpose (SPWP), a local non- governmental organisation, who had said that, it was time society discarded such mentality, describing it as very unfortunate.

“Our society has not made life easy for a lot of single mothers,”she said, explaining that several reasons accounted for a woman to be a single mother.  “Some lost their spouses, others had to run from abusive relationship, some from failed relationships and several others”.  Mrs Alai wondered how any of the above reasons could be the woman’s fault, necessitating any name calling.

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SYMPATHY AND SUPPORT

Indeed, there are many including this writer who cannot agree more with Mrs Alai’s observation because there are varieties of causes and factors contributing to mothers living as single parents, through no fault of theirs and, therefore, they need not to be blamed. They, rather deserve a lot of sympathy and support which will enable them to make a step further to choose responsible husbands to live together as married couples and to live worthy lives.

Research has indicated that single mothers are not a happy group.  Lack of safety net, financial independence has been their biggest challenge.  Besides, being the sole breadwinners, they have to take care of their children and manage a home single-handedly.  Other than financial challenges, being a single mother is also, emotionally draining and psychologically stressful.  More often, children raised by single mothers, are more likely to fare worse on a number of dimensions, including their school fees achievement, social and emotional development, their health and their success in the labour market.

PATIENCE AND LOYALTY

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However, it has been established that single mothers are normally patient, committed, loyal and obedient.  These mothers have to go deep into their hearts to pull out energy at times when they do not have it to make sure that they satisfy their new ‘catches’ in order to protect their marriages and make them productive in the second experience.  It is also on record that many single mothers, have found love, companionship and partnership with good, successful men who respect and care for them and their children.

Indeed, single parenting, can be hard and stressful because you are trying to do everything by yourself and, therefore may feel overwhelmed, tired and stressed out because there is no one else around to help you with things like cooking, or getting children’s clothes and uniforms ready for school.  Staying alone, is not anything one would encourage because it takes two to tango.  At least sharing a company with your wife or husband in a mutual relationship will prolong the lifespan of couples as it will take away boredom and promote healthy relationships.

 MUTUAL RESPECT FOR EACH OTHER

When the Bible refers to wives submitting to their husbands, it essentially means, wives should cultivate an attitude of respect for their husbands.  Respect in this context includes, recognition of her husband as legitimate leader. This also applies to husbands who are expected to show love and care for their wives, since these attributes, matter most in good and successful relationship and marriage.  Submission in marriage means selflessness, service, accountability and respect for your partner which should be mutual.

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The Bible in Ephesians 5: 25 teaches us that husbands should love their wives and teach young women to love their husbands.  Again, Titus 2:4, says, “Love in marriage can be deeper and more selfless than in any other relationship.  It is this type of love that Jesus expects of His followers and it is the virtue that couples need the most”.

SHOWING LOVE AND CARE FOR SINGLE MOTHERS

Having dilated on this important topic, I believe that people who are castigating and denigrating single mothers, should rather, sympathise with them for their plight and rather help them to overcome the challenges associated with their conditions to make them more cheerful and upright.  The single mothers and fathers, especially those who have lost their spouses, should not lose hope, but rather move ahead positively and re-marry to move on with their lives.

Contact email/WhatsApp of author:

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ataani2000@yahoo.com

0277753946/0248933366

By Charles Neequaye

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Confronting newborn abandonment in Ghana: when a cry for help is heard in a dustbin- Part 1

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“A woman who abandons her baby in a dustbin at Kasoa Lorry Station is not always a wicked woman. Sometimes, she is a wounded woman whose mind has broken, whose family has rejected her, and whose society has left her with only one terrible option: disappear or be disgraced.”

That is the hard truth Ghana must hear.

In the last 10 days alone, our nation has been confronted with the same painful headline, twice.

Case 1 – Kasoa Main Lorry Station, Central Region: A newborn baby girl was found abandoned inside a dustbin at the public toilet of the Kasoa Main Station. A woman who went to use the facility discovered the infant and raised an alarm. Commercial drivers and bystanders quickly retrieved the baby and rushed her to the Kasoa Polyclinic for emergency medical care.

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Case 2 – Asante Bekwai, Ashanti Region: On Thursday morning, August 20, 2026, a two-week-old neonate was reportedly abandoned by an unknown nursing mother at Bekwai in the Ashanti Region. Residents who came across the child raised the alarm. The baby was admitted to the Bekwai Government Hospital as police commenced investigations.

Let me be clear from the start: Newborn abandonment is wrong. It is dangerous. It is criminal. And it can kill. This article does not excuse it. But if we only arrest and shame, we will never stop it. We must treat the root, not just punish the fruit.

What exactly is newborn abandonment? – The two definitions

The Legal Definition: Under Ghana’s Criminal Offences Act, 1960 (Act 29), Section 96, and the Children’s Act, 1998 (Act 560), abandonment of a child under 12 years is a criminal offence. It is classified as exposure and abandonment, punishable as a misdemeanor or felony. The law sees the mother as a perpetrator.

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The Psychological definition: In clinical textbooks, newborn abandonment is defined as the intentional, permanent relinquishment of all parental rights, care, and responsibilities over an infant within the first 28 days of life without making formal, legal arrangements for care.

To understand this crisis properly, we must not confuse it with child abandonment. Newborn abandonment happens within 0-28 days of life, often driven by acute panic, denial of pregnancy, or postpartum psychosis where the attachment bond never formed. Child abandonment, on the other hand, involves toddlers to teenagers where a bond existed but collapsed over time due to chronic poverty, family breakdown, or parental burnout. One is an acute crisis of the first month; the other is a chronic breakdown over years. Both are harmful, but they need different interventions.

Psychologically, newborn abandonment is the ultimate rupture of the primary attachment bond. Think of a 19-year-old university student who secretly gives birth alone in her hostel room, wraps the crying baby in a polythene bag, and drops it at a refuse dump at midnight. That is not just a crime scene; it is a scene of extreme panic and psychological dissociation.

Why would a mother carry a baby for 9 months and then abandon it?

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This is the question every Ghanaian asks. If you wanted to abandon it, why not abort? The answer is deeply psychological:

1. The psychodynamics of denial of pregnancy: This is a profound defense mechanism, not a lie. The mother’s subconscious mind completely rejects the reality of the pregnancy. She does not gain weight normally, feels no kicks, does not seek antenatal care, and genuinely convinces herself she is not pregnant until sudden, shocking labour pains take her by surprise in a toilet or bedroom.

2. Fantasy of a dissolving problem: This is called cognitive avoidance. She believes “my boyfriend will come back,” “my mother will forgive me,” or “something miraculous will happen before birth.” So she waits, paralyzed, until the baby is here.

3. Barriers to safe abortion: Deep religious guilt, moral anxiety, fear of dying from a back-alley abortion, lack of money for a safe procedure, and family laws force her to carry to term even when she feels incapable.

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4. The shock of reality and acute panic: Upon delivery, the physical presence and crying of the newborn shatters all denial. Confronted with immediate exposure, shame, and reality, her brain enters a trauma response — “fight, flight, or freeze.” For many, it becomes “flight” — physically escape the threat of exposure to survive socially. That is why babies are left in places where others will find them -lorry stations, churches, hospitals.

Source:

Counselor Prince Offei, CPAC’s founder, is a leading Mental Health Professional, Marriage Counsellor, Author, ADR Expert/Arbitrator, and Spectator Newspaper Columnist. He writes on relationships, marriage, parenting, special needs support, and their connection to mental health. For therapy, counselling, or enquiries, contact Counselor Prince & Associates Consult (CPAC) in Accra on 0559850604 / 0551428486.

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Environmental stewardship is an act of worship: The Islamic response to climate change, environmental degradation (Part 4)

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The environmental consequences of illegal mining have reached alarming levels in Ghana. Several major rivers, including the Pra, Ankobra, Offin, Birim and Tano, have experienced significant pollution from illegal mining activities, increasing the cost and complexity of water treatment while threatening the availability of potable water for millions of citizens (Water Resources Commission, 2024; Ghana Water Limited, 2024). These developments underscore the urgent need for stronger environmental governance and collective action.

Islam equally emphasises accountability in governance. The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) taught that every leader is responsible for those under his or her authority (Sahih al-Bukhari, Hadith 7138; Sahih Muslim, Hadith 1829). This principle extends to public officials entrusted with environmental regulation, traditional authorities responsible for communal lands, mining companies, local assemblies, and community leaders. Environmental protection cannot succeed
where accountability is absent.

At the same time, addressing galamsey requires more than law enforcement. Sustainable solutions must tackle the underlying socio-economic realities that drive individuals into illegal mining. Many young people are motivated by unemployment, poverty, and limited economic opportunities. Islamic principles of social justice therefore call for the creation of alternative livelihoods through sustainable agriculture, vocational training, responsible small-scale mining under strict environmental standards, entrepreneurship, and skills development. Environmental protection and economic empowerment should not be viewed as competing priorities but as complementary goals that promote human dignity and national development.

Faith communities also have an indispensable role to play. Mosques, churches, schools, traditional councils, and civil society organisations possess significant influence in shaping public attitudes and behaviours. Imams, in particular, should consistently remind congregations that wealth acquired through actions that destroy communities and Allah’s creation cannot be regarded as a blessing. Religious education should cultivate environmental ethics alongside spiritual devotion, reinforcing the understanding that protecting rivers, forests, and farmlands is an expression of gratitude to Allah and a fulfilment of the trust of Khalifah.

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Ultimately, the struggle against galamsey is more than a campaign to protect natural resources; it is a struggle to uphold justice, preserve human dignity, and honour the trust that Allah has placed upon humanity. Lasting solutions will require strong governance, responsible citizenship, sustainable economic opportunities, and renewed moral leadership. Only when these elements
work together can Ghana safeguard its natural heritage for present and future generations.

Water conservation, waste management and sustainable development: Practical expressions of Islamic stewardship

Religious education should cultivate environmental ethics alongside spiritual devotion, reinforcing the understanding that protecting rivers, forests, and farmlands is an expression of gratitude to Allah and a fulfilment of the trust of Khalifah.

Ultimately, the struggle against galamsey is more than a campaign to protect natural resources; it is a struggle to uphold justice, preserve human dignity, and honour the trust that Allah has placed upon humanity. Lasting solutions will require strong governance, responsible citizenship, sustainable economic opportunities, and renewed moral leadership. Only when these elements
work together can Ghana safeguard its natural heritage for present and future generations.

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Islam is not merely a religion that condemns environmental destruction; it also provides practical guidance for preserving and sustaining the natural world. Through its teachings on moderation, cleanliness, conservation, and responsible consumption, Islam cultivates an environmental ethic that remains remarkably relevant to contemporary challenges such as water scarcity, pollution, waste management, and climate change. These teachings encourage Muslims to become
responsible custodians of Allah’s creation in both private and public life.

Water conservation: A sacred responsibility

Water occupies a unique position in Islam as the source of life and an essential element of worship. Allah says, “And We made from water every living thing. Then will they not believe?” (Qur’an 21:30, Sahih International). This verse reminds believers that water is not merely an economic resource but a divine blessing upon which all living creatures depend. The importance of water is further reflected in Islamic acts of worship. Muslims perform ablution (wudu) before the five daily prayers and ritual bathing (ghusl) under prescribed circumstances.

Yet, despite its central role in purification, Islam strongly discourages wastefulness. The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) once advised one of his companions not to waste water while performing ablution, even when using water from a flowing river (Sunan Ibn Majah, Hadith 425). This timeless guidance establishes the principle that abundance does not justify extravagance.
Conservation remains a religious obligation regardless of the apparent availability of natural resources.

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This Prophetic teaching carries profound implications for contemporary Ghana. Illegal mining has severely polluted many rivers, increasing the cost of water treatment and limiting access to safe drinking water for numerous communities. Climate change has also intensified seasonal variability in rainfall, placing additional pressure on freshwater resources (IPCC, 2023). Against this
backdrop, conserving water is no longer simply an environmental preference—it is a moral imperative grounded in Islamic teaching.

Water conservation should therefore become a shared responsibility among households, educational institutions, industries, and places of worship. Simple practices such as repairing leaking pipes, harvesting rainwater, protecting riverbanks, avoiding contamination of water bodies, and promoting efficient irrigation contribute to safeguarding one of Allah’s greatest blessings. Every effort to preserve water is an investment in public health, food security, and the
wellbeing of future generations.

Unfortunately, indiscriminate disposal of refuse remains a significant challenge in many communities. Plastic waste clogs drainage systems, contributes to flooding during the rainy season, pollutes rivers and beaches, and threatens marine ecosystems. Open burning of waste further degrades air quality and poses serious health risks, particularly for children and the elderly (UNEP,2024).

The author is Chief Imam of Katamanso Municipal and Certified Counsellor and Governnace Expert.

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