Obaa Yaa
I am confused in life
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a young lady in my early 30s. I had a child with someone but my parents did not approve our being together.
Three years down the line, I met another guy and I told him everything and he agreed to be with me and promised to marry me and stand by me.
After a year of dating, I got pregnant for him then he went to see my parents and promised them that after I had put to bed, he will come and marry me.
I have lived with him since my pregnancy and have done everything a woman does for her man but he keeps postponing the marriage rites.
Our child is a year and six months old now and he still has not said a word about performing the marriage rites.
We have been together for three years now.
What do I do please? I do not want to make the same mistake I made with my first child.
Sylvia, Amasaman.
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Dear Sylvia,
I want to commend your second boyfriend for staying with you throughout the period of pregnancy.
For a man to accept someone’s child as his own and still love you was a good thing and must be applauded for it.
I would advise you to be calm, take your time and just pray to God.
It can be that your husband-to-be is preparing himself well in terms of finance. You know marriage entails a lot in terms of finances because he needs to prepare for settle bride price and other marital demands for you to become his wife.
Don’t be in a rush for him to marry you now and not have money to take care of the home.
Approach him with a calm tone to know his mind, how things are going with the preparations and why he keeps postponing the dates.
You would not know his mind unless you ask him. Back your issues and problems with prayers and I believe everything would go on well successfully.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
My marriage is falling apart because I spent more than an hour at the market, and I honestly do not know what to do anymore.
Anytime I visit the market, my husband gives me only one hour to return home regardless of wherever I have gotten to.
This has brought disagreement between my husband and I .What started as a disagreement between my husband and I has now become a family affair.
I never imagined that a simple trip to the market would lead to such a painful situation in my marriage.
He has told me to pack from our matrimonial home until further notice.
Baaba, Apam
Dear Baaba,
Do not allow family pressure to determine the future of your marriage.
Your husband’s family may genuinely want peace, but their desire to restore the marriage should not take priority over your emotional well-being.
Marriage reconciliation should not be about getting a woman back to her husband’s house at all costs.
You can respect your husband’s family without allowing them to dictate your decision.
On a more serious note, your husband should acknowledge the harm caused by his actions and apologise sincerely if he wrongfully sent you away. However, an apology alone is not enough to repair a marriage.
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Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a young lady of 27 years, living in a single room at Lapaz. I have stayed there for three years and I always pay my rent on time.
Last month, my landlord called me and said he had doubled the rent c from GH₵600 to GH₵1,200.
He says everything had increased so I must pay double or leave by the end of this month. I don’t have anywhere to go and I don’t have that amount. When I tried to beg him, he said if I don’t pay, he will lock my room.
Please advise me, what should I do? I am stressed.
Worried tenant.
Dear worried tenant,
I don’t know why your landlord is acting this way. He cannot just lock your room or eject you like that. In Ghana, the Rent Act mandates a landlord to give proper written notice and go through the Rent Control Department. Locking your room or throwing your things out is illegal.
You can explain to him that you cannot afford 100% at once. Propose something you can afford, maybe ask for time to adjust.
Go to the Rent Control office near you (with your old receipt and any message from your landlord). They will invite him and help you both agree on a fair increment. Usually, an increment should be reasonable, not 100% overnight.
While Rent Control is handling it, quietly start looking at other options, just in case he insists on not renewing your rent after your current rent expires.
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