Obaa Yaa
I am a second wife and scared
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a second wife married in the customary way. The first wife often have misunderstandings with our husband.
Interestingly, I am also having multiple issues with him and I am worried.
According to my husband, the reason why she broke up with his first wife was because, she was a drunkard and a cheat.
Recently, I realised my husband has made a Will in the name of my children and didn’t include his ex-wife and children.
His lawyer, who is a family friend, disclosed this to his relative and they are angry.
His relatives advised my husband to suspend the Will and give part of the assets to them but he refused.
He only gave a plot of land to his ex-wife. But I’m afraid that when this man dies, his relatives will eject me from his house, because they like the first woman more than me.
Dede, Nkronza.
Dear Dede,
There should be a reason why the first wife of your husband became a drunkard. She needs your pity more than anything else.
However, how would your husband’s relative love a drunkard? It looks as if your husband’s ex-wife was maltreated or was not giving the needed attention.
If your husband makes a Will that has the seal of the law on it, it will make you more secured.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am torn between two guys and finding it very difficult to make a choice.
I have known the first guy for three years. We respect each other a lot. We started as just friends, but we recently began dating. Even though we don’t have much in common, he makes me feel loved and special.
Interestingly, I met the second guy only two weeks ago through a mutual friend. From the beginning, it has been nothing but good vibes between us. I enjoy his company, and we share many things in common. He is basically my type of man, both physically and mentally.
Now I feel like I have to choose, but I am lost and unsure who to go for.
—Esinam, Legon
Dear Esinam,
When it comes to love, everyone must take time to think carefully. You’re not just choosing a partner—you are choosing a potential husband and the father of your children, regardless of your current feelings.
Consider your priorities. Which of the two aligns better with your values, goals, and aspirations?
You might also reflect on:
- Emotional stability — Who offers long-term security and respect?
- Compatibility — Who truly understands you and shares your vision?
- Consistency — Who has shown genuine care over time?
- Future plans — Who fits into the life you want to build?
Attraction and good vibes are important, but so are character, compatibility, and long-term intentions.
Take your time, listen to your inner peace, and choose the one who fits not just your heart today, but your future tomorrow.
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Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a 22-year-old lady at the University of Ghana, Legon. I realised my Grade Point Average (GPA) was very good and could even get a First Class if I put in more effort.
It is rather unfortunate that in Level 300, I have noticed a significant drop in my academic performance, which has left me both confused and worried about my future.
The increased workload and expectations at this level have been overwhelming, making it challenging to balance demanding courses with extracurricular activities and personal responsibilities.
This pressure has fuelled my anxiety, making it even harder to maintain my grades. The coursework is substantially more demanding, and I often find myself struggling to keep pace.
This sudden shift has been disheartening, and I can’t help but worry about the long-term impact it may have on my future.
Chelsea, Accra.
Dear Chelsea,
Although you have realised a significant drop in your grades, it does not mean that you should throw in the towel. See it as a signal to change your approach to studies.
Identify the subjects or topics you are struggling with and put in more effort. Create a study timetable to manage your time well, making sure you revise regularly instead of waiting until exams.
Don’t hesitate to ask teachers for clarification or join a study group with friends who understand the subject better.
Also, cut down distractions such as too much time on the phone or the use of social media when studying.
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