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Disqualified – Part 3
After church on Sunday, Afrakoma said a quiet prayer, asking for divine help in getting Beesiwa to agree to her suggestion. She and Beesiwa were mates in senior high school, and they both studied for the Diploma in Business Studies at Koforidua Polytechnic, and they obtained jobs with Madam Bruwaa, a big distributor of provisions and textiles, where they were offered modest salaries.
They both got jobs at the National Bank, but just when they started, the parents of a young man based in the US, Sam Abrokwa, approached Beesiwa’s parents to ask for her hand in marriage.
Although the parents knew each other and Beesiwa remembered Sam as her senior in basic school, she told her parents that she would only agree to marry him after getting to know him.
The two parents tried, but she flatly refused to marry a guy she had never met. Eventually, it was agreed that she would meet him when he came to Ghana for a brief visit, but she insisted that she would only go and join him some time after they had met.
So they spoke on phone regularly, with Sam always expressing the desire to see her in the shortest possible time. Beesiwa, on the other hand, was polite and friendly, but reserved.
She quietly hoped that in due course, she would experience what would enable her to see her husband in him.
So it happened after some four months. Sam called to say that he had arrived in Koforidua, and would be calling on her in the afternoon. Beesiwa and her parents prepared a sumptuous meal for him, but he got to the house around 10pm, accompanied by two friends, obviously drunk. He apologized for his lateness, and after some 10 minutes asked Beesiwa to come with him to his house. Beesiwa said politely but firmly that she could not join him, and pleaded that they make it the following day.
He was very irritated by that answer, but he eventually accepted to come back the following day. As she lay in bed, Beesiwa wondered whether there was any hope for a future with Sam. Which normal person, she said to herself, goes to meet his wife and in-laws for the first time drunk? Perhaps tomorrow would be different.
Sam returned after 8pm the following day, a little sober but still drunk. He turned down the offer of a meal, and Beesiwa followed him to his home. A few minutes after offering her a seat, he turned on her, and started undressing her. Beesiwa started to object, but he flared up.
“Hey! You are not going to play games with me, after the monies I have spent on you. Your parents asked for money on several occasions, and I sent it. So how dare you refuse me sex?” Absolutely shocked, Beesiwa quietly gave in, and after less than 10 minutes Sam turned on his side and, with a big smile on his face, fell asleep. Beesiwa managed to dress up, walk out of the house and call Afrakoma. Afrakoma turned up in a taxi and took her to her house, and she narrated her experience to her. “I can’t believe this. So your parents virtually sold you to him, and never told you?” “I don’t think I can face the two of them again. My own parents have given me the most violent experience of my life. I don’t want to see them again.” “Take a shower Beesiwa, and try to get some sleep. I will go and see them tomorrow morning.”
“Hello Afrakoma. How are you? Your friend went to her husband’s place yesterday. She may be back in a day or two.”
“Actually, Ma, I came to discuss that with you and Daddy. I don’t need to sit down. Ma, Afrakoma went to Sam’s house with him reluctantly, because like yesterday, he was drunk.
As soon as they stepped in his room, he started removing her dress. When Beesiwa started to object, he told her that he had paid money to her parents, so she could not reject him.
She was so shocked that she just stayed silent and he slept with her. Fortunately he fell asleep, so she called me, and I went with a taxi to take her home.
Forgive me Ma, but I think you and Daddy have treated Beesiwa, a beautiful virgin determined to have an honourable, marriage, in the most despicable fashion. I’m trying to be polite, but I don’t know what your financial need was, which enabled you to betray your own daughter this way.
For your information, I have sent a message to Sam that Beesiwa and I need to know how much money is owed to him, and my husband and I will support her to pay. Good morning.” As the two parents stood with their mouths open, she walked away.
Public awareness campaigns have successfully cast breast cancer into the global spotlight, typically framed through a uniform lens of pink ribbons, early detection drives and triumphant stories of survival. While these initiatives have driven vital mammography compliance and research funding, they often perpetuate a sanitised narrative. Beneath the polished public messaging lie complex, less-discussed clinical realities and emotional burdens that patients, families and healthcare providers must navigate long after the initial medical milestones have passed.
Moving towards an honest discourse
Acknowledging these untold truths does not diminish the incredible advancements achieved in modern oncology; rather, it humanises the patient experience. Expanding our cultural understanding beyond the simplistic “warrior” trope allows for deeper institutional support, better long-term medical management and genuine empathy for the lifelong journey of survivorship.
When people see breast cancer in movies or awareness campaigns, they usually see a neat story: someone gets diagnosed, goes through treatment, rings a celebration bell and goes right back to normal.
In real life, the journey is much more complicated. Let us break down five “hidden truths” about breast cancer using everyday examples.
Truth 1: The “Post-Treatment Cliff” (Life after treatment)
What it means: Everyone thinks that once medical treatments, such as surgery or chemotherapy, are over, the patient instantly returns to their old self. In reality, that is when a whole new set of challenges begins.
The example: Imagine finishing a gruelling uphill marathon. You cross the finish line, but your legs are still shaking, you are exhausted, and everyone else goes home while you are left trying to recover. Many survivors deal with long-term side effects, such as constant tiredness, numbness in their fingers or swelling, called lymphoedema, for years.
Truth 2: Catching it early is great, but not a magic shield
What it means: Early detection saves lives, but some types of cancer are so aggressive that even a small tumour can behave like a runaway train.
The example: Think of weeds in a garden. If you spot a weed early, you can usually pull it right out. But certain aggressive “weeds” spread seeds everywhere or grow roots so fast that even finding them early does not stop them from trying to pop up somewhere else later.
Truth 3: The long, hard marathon of daily pills
What it means: For many survivors whose cancer is hormone-receptor-positive, treatment does not stop when surgery ends. They may have to take hormone-blocking pills every day for five to ten years.
The example: These daily pills act like security guards keeping the enemy away, but they can also bring troublesome side effects, such as joint stiffness, sudden hot flashes or weakened bones. Because of this, taking the medication can feel like a daily chore that reminds patients of the cancer for a decade.
Truth 4: People we forget about (Men and young adults)
What it means: Public campaigns often focus on older women. Because of this, other groups affected by breast cancer may be caught off guard.
The example: Men can develop breast cancer, too, because they are born with a small amount of breast tissue. However, because some men think it is a “women’s disease”, they may ignore an unusual lump in their chest for months, resulting in a later diagnosis. Young adults under 40 face a different shock, having to worry about fertility, having children and career interruptions right in the middle of building their lives.
Truth 5: The hidden price tag (Financial stress)
What it means: A medical diagnosis brings a heavy second burden: financial strain.
The example: Even with good health insurance, additional costs can pile up quickly, including specialised scans, genetic testing, expensive prescription drugs and taking weeks or months off work to recover. It can feel like dealing with two crises at the same time: trying to heal the body while worrying about bills.
Talking about these harder truths does not mean we should not celebrate survivors. It simply means we need to understand the real, full picture of what people go through.
By Robert Ekow Grimmond-Thompson
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As soon as a married man becomes infected with the he-goat mentality, he is bound to forget that he has a wife.
It is often a tragedy because he can completely lose focus and generally start misbehaving. He considers his wife a headache, at best a pain in the neck.
The man has got a new girlfriend and is excited. And when he sees his wife, he wonders what she is doing in his home. Maybe she is only a stray dog in need of shelter. And Jesus Christ, won’t she just keep out of the way?
The married man who has gone into extramarital affairs is half the time engaged in mindless fantasy. He is engrossed in devising many ways to please his newfound lover. And if the girl is explosive in bed, the fantasy could spiral into the fourth dimension.
It could be that his wife is basically an “old layer” who can no longer take him to the heavens and back. The girlfriend, however, can take him on a trip into space, meandering through the galaxy of stars, down the Milky Way. It can be an experience of a lifetime.
Normally, after such a trip, the married man will forget that he even has a home and children. He becomes a fugitive.
What he needs is deliverance. So his wife will go to the pastor and tell him that her husband has developed very strange symptoms.
First, the man is behaving practically like a he-goat, sniffing desperately after young women. Secondly, he cannot find his way back home.
The pastor is likely to diagnose the ailment on the spot. He does not need to conduct a blood test to offer a prognosis. “It is the spirit of lust,” the man of God will say. “The Lord is in control.”
Sometimes prayers are effective, and the man heads back home. For very curious reasons, he remembers that he had lost his way. So he returns to his family, wondering what might have been happening to him. So long!
Other times, prayer worsens the case. It is not that the prayers are not being answered. God has only given the lecherous bloke a long rope on his own balls. It is as if the prayers drive him further and further away from the world of reason. For as long as three years, his soul is restless. It is in bondage!
The man forgets that the young girl he has been riding will one day marry and leave him in the cold. That day will surely come.
Now, when a married man is jilted by his girlfriend, he remembers that he has a wife. He had almost forgotten that he went and wedded a woman and called her his wife.
The jilted man will lick his wounds and trace his way back home. His wife would wonder whether he had lost his way. Anyhow, she will welcome him back home.
He becomes the loving husband he once was, and his wife is amazed. What might have happened to her man? Was he struck on the way to Damascus? Or on his way back?
When the man is sober, he will decide to calculate how much he has spent on that useless girl who said she was going to get married to some equally useless cockroach.
He realises that, in the short span of sexual enjoyment and extramarital bliss, he has lost all his lifetime savings, enough to build two-storey buildings.
Last Saturday, some youths who distinguished themselves in various endeavours were awarded at an excellence awards ceremony.
The males should always have it at the back of their minds that chasing women is what brings down both the weak and the strong, the poor and the rich, the lettered and the unlettered.
This article was first published on Saturday, August 26, 2006.
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