Fruitful Living
Cultivating and maintaining Godly relationships (final part)
It is important to understand that Christlike love is not self-centred. We live in a culture that promotes a “what’s in it for me” mindset in relationships. But godly relationships reflect in a different attitude. Instead of asking, “What can I get out of this relationship?” we should ask, “How can I serve, uplift, and encourage this person?”
Whether in marriage, friendships, or even work relationships, cultivating love means sacrificing our own needs for the sake of others. Christlike love is the glue that holds godly relationships together.
Ask yourself. Am I loving those around me in the way Christ loves me? Am I willing to forgive, serve, and sacrifice for others in our relationships?
If we are truly followers of Christ, love must be at the centre of how we relate to everyone.
2. Godly Relationships Are Built on Trust and Integrity
The second point is that Godly relationships are built on Trust and Integrity. Trust is the bedrock of any healthy relationship, and integrity ensures that this trust is not broken. Without trust, relationships become strained, and eventually, they fall apart.
Proverbs 12:22 says, “The Lord detests lying lips, but He delights in people who are trustworthy.” Trust is earned through honesty, faithfulness, and a commitment to doing what is right. In godly relationships, we are called to be people of our word, to be reliable, and to act with integrity at all times.
Integrity in a relationship means that we are consistent in our character—we are the same in private as we are in public. It means we are not deceitful, manipulative, or hypocritical. Instead, we are transparent and honest. This applies to all forms of relationships, whether in marriage, friendships, or even professional relationships.
Building trust requires time and intentionality. Do our actions align with our words? Can people depend on us? If we are to maintain godly relationships, we must commit to being trustworthy and people of integrity.
3. Godly Relationships Require Forgiveness and Grace
No relationship is perfect because people are not perfect. Conflict, misunderstandings, and offenses are inevitable. But godly relationships are maintained through a posture of Forgiveness and Grace.
Ephesians 4:32 instructs us to “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”
One of the most challenging aspects of maintaining godly relationships is the ability to forgive those who hurt us, intentionally or unintentionally. Holding onto bitterness or grudges only destroys relationships and erodes our peace.
When we forgive, we imitate Christ, who forgave us of our sins even when we were undeserving. Forgiveness is not about denying that we were wronged, but it is a conscious decision to release the offense and allow God to heal our hearts.
Moreover, grace is essential. Grace means giving others room to make mistakes, to grow, and to change. We are all on a journey of becoming more like Christ, and grace allows us to see others as God sees them—worthy of love, compassion, and patience.
To be continued!
Stay blessed!
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- By Rev. Dr Joyce Aryee, the author
Health experts generally agree that mental health is not simply the absence of illness but the presence of qualities that allow individuals to live fulfilling and purposeful lives. Among the most recognised components are:
Wellbeing – This refers to emotional stability, peace of mind, and the ability to maintain balance during life’s ups and downs. In Islam, gratitude (shukr) is emphasised as a foundation of wellbeing: “If you are grateful, I will surely increase you [in favour].” (Qur’an 14:7). A thankful heart fosters optimism and resilience, reducing stress and anxiety.
Personal abilities – Mental health involves recognising one’s strengths and limitations and making productive use of them. The Prophet Muhammad s.a.w. highlighted the value of strength, whether physical, emotional, or spiritual: “The strong believer is better and more beloved to Allah than the weak believer, while there is good in both.” (Sahih Muslim, Hadith 2664).
Coping strategies – Resilience is essential for managing stress and adversity. The Qur’an provides reassurance: “Indeed, with hardship comes ease.” (Qur’an 94:6). Effective coping prevents temporary setbacks from becoming long-term crises.
Productivity – A sound mind enables individuals to contribute positively to their work, studies, or trade. Islam values effort: “And that there is not for man except that [good] for which he strives.” (Qur’an 53:39).
Contribution to society – Good mental health extends beyond the individual, fostering social harmony. The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم taught: “The best of people are those that bring most benefit to the rest of mankind.” (Daraqutni, Hasan Hadith).
Together, these components demonstrate that mental health is both a spiritual and practical pursuit, aligning Islamic principles with modern psychology.
The Islamic perspective on mental health
Islam does not deny the reality of psychological suffering. The Qur’an and Sunnah acknowledge sadness, anxiety, and grief as natural human experiences. For example, Prophet Yaqub (Jacob, peace be upon him) cried until he lost his eyesight due to grief over Yusuf (Joseph) (Qur’an 12:84). This demonstrates that emotional distress is not a sign of weakness in faith but part of the human journey.
The Prophet Muhammad صلى الله عليه وسلم also recognised worry and sadness. One of his daily supplications was: “O Allah, I seek refuge in you from worry and grief, from incapacity and laziness, from cowardice and miserliness, from being heavily in debt and from being overpowered by men.” (Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 6369).
Classical scholars also wrote extensively about emotional balance. Imam Al-Ghazali, in Ihya Ulum al-Din, discussed the purification of the heart from diseases such as envy, arrogance, and despair, which today parallel cognitive and emotional disorders. Ibn Qayyim al-Jawziyya emphasised patience (sabr) and hope (raja’) as remedies for distress, noting that despair is among the gravest of spiritual illnesses.
Crucially, Islam encourages seeking medical treatment. The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said: “Make use of medical treatment, for Allah has not made a disease without appointing a remedy for it.” (Sunan Abu Dawud, Hadith 3855). Thus, combining prayer, counseling, and medical care is part of a balanced Islamic approach.
- Imam Alhaji Saeed
Abdulai, the Author
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Finally, how can we become holy? Holiness only results from a right relationship with God by believing in Jesus Christ as Saviour (accepting His gift of eternal life). If we have not placed our faith in God’s Son alone to save us from our sins, then our pursuit of holiness is in vain. So, we must first make sure we are born again believers – John 3.
If we truly are believers, then we recognise that our position in Christ automatically sets us apart from the world – 1 Peter 2:9. After all, we have a relationship with the living God! Then we must daily live a set-apart life, not trying to “blend in” with the world, but instead living according to God’s Word as we study the Bible and grow in it.
In Mark 7:9-16, the Lord Jesus tells us that the way we think is what defiles us and robs us of truth and holiness. The Pharisees had replaced God’s rules of faith and holiness with their own rules and regulations which they tried to force people to follow.
They saw themselves as experts of God’s word but promptly added so much to it that it was no hope of God. It is idolatry to claim that our interpretation of God’s word is as important as God’s word itself, and it is especially dangerous to set up unbiblical standards for others to follow.
We should always look to Christ Jesus for guidance about our behaviour, for He alone is the visible image of the invisible God as we read in Col. 1:15-19:
“The Son is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn over all creation. For in Him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things have been created through Him and for Him. He is before all things, and in Him all things hold together. And He is the head of the body, the church; He is the beginning and the firstborn from among the dead, so that in everything He might have the supremacy. For God was pleased to have all His fullness dwell in Him.”
Walking in the truth and holiness
Paul’s epistle to the Ephesians speaks a lot about walking in truth and holiness. I would like to focus on what he says as a means of grasping the sheer privilege of being God’s channel for truth and holiness. This is found in Eph. 4:17-32 and I shall take it by the verses.
Introduction
- In Eph. 4:1, we saw where Paul began to describe our “duty” to “walk worthy of the calling with which you were called.”
- In doing so, he first called us to “walk together in unity” by admonishing us to:
a. Display the “attitude” crucial for maintaining unity – Eph. 4:2-3;
b. Understand the “basis” of the unity we have in Christ – Eph. 4:4-6;
c. Utilise the “gifts” given by Christ to His church that serve to keep the body of Christ together and growing – Eph. 4:7-16. - In the last half of chapter four – Eph. 4:17-32, Paul continues to describe the sort of “walk” that is worthy of our calling, especially as “a holy temple in the Lord.”
a. Whereas the first half emphasised “Walking Together in Unity;”
b. This section emphasises “Walking in Truth and Holiness.”
- Rev. Dr Joyce Aryee,
the author
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