Obaa Yaa
Can l trust him?
Dear Obaa Yaa,
We have gone through challenges in our friendship which has spanned five years.
Having received complete endorsement from relatives, friends and people who have our matter at heart, everything was pointing to a pleasurable marriage life.
At the beginning of the year, my fiancé came to inform me that he would like to officially inform my parents about his intention to ask for my hand in marriage.
My parents were glad to receive this information and feverish preparations were made for the performance of the forthcoming customary rites.
This information has gladdened my heart and it has intensified our love for each other. We spent more time on the phone and devoted more time to share interesting moments.
Surprisingly, my fiancé has stopped calling me and has failed to visit me at work and at home.
My fear about his character intensified when l realised that my calls to his line could not go through but when l tried a different number, he picked.
When l enquired from him why my calls could not go through, he explained that he had a challenge with his cell phone, but l realised that there was a problem with our relationship.
In summary, my fiancé has married about three months ago without an explanation.
Should l take action against him?
Dorothy, Tema.
Dear Dorothy,
Naturally you ought to be disturbed because of the heightened expectations your fiancé had generated in your family. Your parents, relatives and well-wishers must have been disappointed in the turn of events.
l can envisage the copious tears you might have shed because of the unfortunate incident.
The relatively short period your fiancé has taken to marry, implies that he must have been monitoring you and this lady who is now his wife.
It is essential for you to know the reason for which he has settled on another person instead of you.
This information would help you to amend whatever you might have done wrong which must have informed your fiancé’s decision to marry a different person instead of you.
Obaa Yaa
I don’t like his dressing
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I live with my parents and my sister. She has a boyfriend who frequently comes to the house. I don’t have a problem with that but I’m concerned about the way he carries himself around the house anytime he visits.
He sometimes wears only a singlet and pair of shorts to our place. He doesn’t dress formally.
At times, he even removes his top and walks bare chested. He doesn’t feel shy at all exposing himself this way to his prospective in-laws.
Any visitor to our house seeing this guy around bare chested may form a bad opinion about us.
And to add salt to injury, my sister is not helping matters. In order to avoid any hostility, we have talked to my sister to find a way to talk to him but it is not working. How can we handle this?
Alodia, Accra.
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Dear Alodia,
IN my opinion, it is not out of place to tell your prospective in-law that the way he behaves around your home is not particularly to anybody’s liking.
You do not have to say this angrily, and in doing so, you must choose your words carefully.
On the other hand, your sister might also like this, but that is not the point.
The point is that you want a decent in-law and you might as well send signals about what your expectations are as far as your in-law is concerned.
Obaa Yaa
My mum sleeps with other men
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I lived with my mother and her actions bring a lot of embarrassment to my family, and I need your advice.
She is single and in my neighborhood, my mother is noted for sleeping around with men. What is more disgraceful is that she even sleeps with men younger than her in the neighbourhood.
Her attitude is really affecting me because I have always tried to be morally upright.
Could you imagine an occasion when I overheard some people mentioning the number of men my mother has slept with?
I have now become an object of mockery as I am the only child of my mother.
I am now confused, I feel like running away from home and never return. I will do this without informing her of where I intend going. I am 18 years and she is 38 years. Please help me out.
T.K, Bantama.
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Dear T.K
There is no point of running from the house without your mother knowing.
That would not solve the problem. This is the time that she needs you most because she may be frustrated.
Remember, she is your mother and you need to accord her that due respect.
Have a personal talk with her about what she is making you go through mentally and physically.
I believe that even if she needs a partner, she can go in for a responsible person. That can lead to marriage so that she’ll stop sleeping around.
You can also report her behaviour to your family head to talk to her.
